2yo ds, nursery closed for 2 weeks at xmas, work wont let me have time off, wtf am i going to do

[whatamigonnado]

is this even legal.

they said i can only have time off if i work loads extra before xmas which i cannot do.

I personally wouldn't go off sick but it's easy for me to say that as I am not in your position so it isn't my place to judge you for that.

Would you have a return to work interview if you did go off sick? Also if more than a week would need a sick note? (presumably would involve lying to your GP?) If your employer did meet with you after your sickness period would you be able to lie convincingly that you were sick over Christmas? Just some things to think about.

Sorry nappyaddict and anyone else suggesting parental leave, they certainly can stop her taking it.

Whatami you are entitled to unpaid parental leave as long as you give the required notice, but your employer can forcibly postpone it for up to 6 months for business reasons, which they may do. They would certainly be able to justify doing it.

I think it's worth asking though. I understand what you are saying about it being busy and providing cover earlier on, but the fact still remains that if they will let you have it off providing you work extra beforehand, then that must mean they can physically manage without you during those two weeks.

Ask about parental leave. You can put in a formal request for it, read here all about it. It's basically intended for this type of thing, so in a way, yes you are as a parent entitled to extra help, but the bottom line is, if it's too busy at work, or too many people are already off at the time you want, your employer can postpone your request as I've said, which wouldn't be much use to you. Try it and see how it goes, otherwise you may have to explore some of the emergency childcare options people have mentioned.

Sorry you are having such a nightmare

And in response to the suggestion about going off sick, if I was your employer and I'd refused a holiday request over Christmas and you were suddenly off sick, I wouldn't fall for it in a second I'm afraid...

i know they can technically not allow it but i've never known anyone be refused it before.

fair enough nappyaddict, it was just you said they 'cannot' stop you, just wanted to be sure anyone reading this knew they can Unusual as you say, but it does happen.

flowery "I think it's worth asking though. I understand what you are saying about it being busy and providing cover earlier on, but the fact still remains that if they will let you have it off providing you work extra beforehand, then that must mean they can physically manage without you during those two weeks. "
exactly they can fecking well manag without me.

what would happen to me i went off sick and they didn't beleive me?
suppose id get a disaplinary?

nappyaddict I think it may depend on what line of work you are in. If most of the people on my team (nurses) requested parental leave over Christmas then perhaps one of us might be lucky - the manager would definitely say that the others would have to be postponed for "business reasons" and rightly so.

OP is a pharmacist - afaik pharmacies have to cover every day (Christmas included) on an emergency/out of hours rota.

well in the town i work in there is apharmacy who is open at xmas anyway so there is no need to work xmas day.

It does sound like they are being very awkward as they have made this issue of saying yes if you make the time up before.

Re the going off sick, agree with what flowery said, but in practice if you had a sick note they would really have to be sure of themselves (I think) to challenge you over it. If you could somehow "prove" you were legally sick (with a sick note) it could get tricky for them.

i suppose it does depend on how many other people would also need time off at the same time aswell. whenever anyone i know has had to ask for parental leave it hasn't been at a time like xmas when other parents might also need it. a few have in the summer holidays but then most of my friends with children work in places where only a few people have young children.

Are there in any nurseries near you that close for less time? Maybe you could switch nurseries.

im sure if i tell my gp all my problems i could get a note for a week.
probably a year !

Did you not know that the nursery was shut over xmas when you booked him in there? How about changing to a childminder? though they no doublt want (and deserve of course!!) xmas off as well.

If you went off 'sick' for two weeks you'd need a medical certificate for a start, so you'd have to come up with some illness that would convince a doctor that you need two weeks off work at Christmas.

Onepiece is right that if you have a medical certificate saying you need two weeks off it's more difficult for them to challenge it but certainly not impossible. They could send you to a doctor of their choice for a second opinion, for example, if they didn't believe both you and the first doctor.

I'm not sure ringing in sick when we're talking about a fortnight is a goer, tbh. That sort of thing might work if you can't get the time off for sports day, but for 2 weeks over Christmas, no.

I did have a bit of (naughty) advice which was to go off sick well before Christmas. Just another option. Just don't get caught Christmas shopping in early December whilst you are officially off with 2 broken legs or whatever gets put on your sick note.

Seriously though hope you get a resolution soon.

thanks guys.

i can't move ds to a different nursery.
hes only just starting to settle in.

my boss is a right bitch as well.

onepiece, i would be more than happy to not leave the house for a fortnight.
ill hve an internet xmas.
get evrything delivered

well i could easier have stress

i have it already!

thanks for the advic cat, really good of you.
but after thinking it over tonight im going to quit

ds is not settling really at nursery, i think illwait till he is 3 and try again, i thinnk a 3 he will be more ready for childcare.

also im sick of that shithole.

but thats for helping me reach my decision.

I am also a professional who works for a big retail organisation.

I have to book my hols 18 months in advance so holiday for 2009/10 including Christmas period 2009 just been booked!And they do refuse holiday booked even this far in advance.

To be 'fair to all' there is a policy of either Christmas or New Year off - 4 days.We have to work bank hols if required,New Years Day etc.Either Christmas Eve or New Years Eve off.This is standard in retail for the big companies.

I can have unpaid parental leave during the year but only as the business allows and wouldn't be allowed to take this at Christmas as this 'wouldn't be fair' to others.The company has a number of locum hours allowed and therefore splits this between employees and won't go above the number of hours whatever your case.It is pretty rubbish really but standard in retail.You are just a small cog in the big wheel of your organisation.

I have a nanny and would as others had suggested think about a temporary one in your case.It would be likely to be expensive though (agency fee,premium for this time of year?) but I suppose this needs to be balanced against keeping your job.Is there anyway your partner can negotiate a couple of days with his employer and you a couple of days (sometimes the employer is open to a compromise if they feel you have tried everything possible) and perhaps your partner can cover at home while you work some extra time say late nights/Sundays in the lead up to Christmas.My friend and her dh do this as they can't afford extra childcare and take about 1/2 of their annual holidays separately because of this.
It is really hard and I can see while it feels unfair (I feel the same) but sometimes this is the only option.I've gone through the feeling mad too but it doesn't help.

I wouldn't go off sick personally as you do have to go back to work and it is pretty obvious.

Just to be optomistic this is a problem you are going to encounter when your ds starts school as well so you need to look at either some long term plan or changing to an employer who is perhaps more flexible.

hi head thanks for your reply sorry if you did not see my last post.

ive decided to quit the job.

Can see why if you hate your boss as well.If you can manage finacially then probably better off out of the rat race.
Just wanted to let you know it probably isn't personal on their part - they treat everyone this badly!

thanks head.
retail is not a great place when you have dcs is it.

If you're the same M'netter who had a thread a few weeks back re. school hour working etc then I thought you'd resigned already ? Your choice is to swap shifts to enable someone else to cover yours, get dp to take time off or find a childminder/au pair. Christmas closure is fairly normal, suits some but not others and as someone pointed out it gets worse when they are at school.

I gave you the answer - advertise like the rest of us in your local paper and pay someone to look after the child for 2 weeks. Also my sister hires a temporary nanny in emergencies. You have all those possibilities. It's not your employers fault your child care has broken down and not their obligation to pay for it. Also it is not just your job. Your child's father should be running round the nanny agencies too. Children are not just a mother's responsibility and every time a mother takes it on solely she is in effect stabbing her daughters and other women in the back.