Stressed about changing my teaching days because of childcare issues

[lastweeksofsummer]

I’m feeling really stressed out about work as September approaches and since I’m a teacher there isn’t anyone I can ask, although I have sent emails.

I work two days a week. These days were Mondays and Fridays, as these were the days my husband worked from home so he would take our older child to school and pick him up. Nursery runs were still on me.

Our younger child turned three last month and we decided to move her to preschool for the year before she starts school. The preschool is 9-3 with no wraparound, but DH was able to take her and collect her so not a problem.

To say that since then life has changed dramatically is an understatement and DH is very unwell and won’t be able to take or drop off the children. DS is going into year 1 and there’s some wraparound at his school and so that’s OK but DD is a problem.

I have found a childminder who can take DD and pick her up but she doesn’t work Mondays. I have asked work if they would consider my doing a different two days but I understand this may not be possible given timetables etc are all done.

I know there’s nothing anyone here can do but I’m so stressed about it and carrying it alone.

That sounds a really tough, sorry you're having to navigate that!

If you are secondary then I think it's worth sending/re-sending emails today as they will be around for results download. I know that doesn't help you resolve it but it's a thought that's occurred to me that at least might get the ball rolling in terms of a conversation.

I hope you find a solution OP 🤞

Thanks. I’m going in tomorrow but obviously it will be (hopefully!) mostly a celebration not timetabling!

Also thinking about what we would do in our family (similar-ish setup) is there any scope to go back to nursery for your youngest, especially if you explain the circumstances? With ratios being higher in the preschool room they might be able to find a space?

Oh definitely, but you'll have the decision makers around so may get chance to sort once the kids have been and gone and the dust has settled a bit 🙂

@PensionPuzzle there are long waiting lists for the nurseries around here but in all honesty it would be my last resort in many ways. It was a great nursery when my older child was there but it’s gone massively downhill lately and I feel like I never see the same member of staff more than twice. With everything going on with DH, I really want continuity for her. I just wish there was some wraparound!

I am really hoping to avoid taking time off, but it depends how flexible work are willing to be and generally my school just aren’t.

Childcare I’m recently learning is an absolute nightmare - you think you are sorted and then things don’t quite line up how you want them to! We have a problem where MIL has said she will do a day a week childcare, but only a Wednesday, and I don’t seem to be able to move for Wednesday nursery places but nothing on the Thursday I need!

Anyway, sympathies OP!

Some of the childminders near me seem to have September 26 availability - could she go to a childminder instead of a preschool?

Is there a friend, neighbour or family member you could ask to do it temporarily? Schools I have worked in would probably agree to this change but not until after half term or Christmas to give time to sort! Some office staff don’t work the holidays and your headteacher will definitely be working - could you try and phone and see if anyone answers?

Thanks. I’ve sent an email but no acknowledgement (which is fair enough; it is the holidays.) I’m just worried Monday the 7th will roll around and I don’t know how I’ll get her there or collect her!

I was a part time teacher.

depending on what you teach and shared classes etc this may be relatively easy to sort. I know there were often changes in August in our timetable (you are never sure until September how many are coming into sixth form, a teacher has been employed but doesn’t come, someone totally fucked up the timetabling in the first place) etc.

speak to SLT/decision makers asap to let them know, it may or may not be a big deal

Is there a compromise OP where you ask that you don’t have any lessons first or last on a Monday? You accept that this is your PPA time but you use it for drop off?

You could do this temporarily until you can sort something more permanent

If I do that then I’d lose pay @BakersKitchen - I know, I shouldn’t have to but they will insist on it. I do actually have PPA p5 Monday so I may have to accept 0.18 or whatever crazy amount of hours that is but I still don’t know how I’d get her there.

That's a good solution actually and is much more likely to be able to be put in place quickly than swapping days about- might buy you a bit of sorting out time?

Do you really have no ability to contact any one at school other than an office email? No phone numbers for colleagues or senior staff who manage you?? Doesn’t sound like a very good system! What if it was you who was seriously ill and unable to work at all in September.

Obviously it depends exactly what is going on with DH, but when my DH was seriously ill I eventually gave in and was signed off sick myself (note said stress due to family illness). It was much better for the school to know I wouldn't be there for x weeks than for me to be there when I could but not coping particularly well. Once I was signed off they had insurance to pay for cover and it meant I could focus on what was most important, despite the fact that I initially believed continuing to work was more important than anything.

@Smartiepants79 i have my HODs phone no but this is not her decision, it’s a timetabling one and the final call is with the head (principal I should say really) and no, I don’t have his telephone number.

One of my colleagues also works two days and has offered to ‘swap’ timetables with me which would be the best solution if they go for that.

@Flatlily i may have to do that eventually but I’m worried that it could go on for years.

Your HOD could advocate for you though? It’s their role as your line manager.

Yes, that's what I was going to say. It's HOD's job to support with this and contact those who can help.

They find out in September.

yes, it may seem bonkers but it is the way it works

If both of you are willing then that would be a very straightforward solution. If you go to the Head with the solution already in place, then you have a far higher chance of it being approved. Your HoD needs to advocate for this, and email the Head with this presented to them as a plan. It shouldn't be you doing the emailing - this is your HoD's job.

You are also entitled to carer's leave so don't be afraid to take it at the beginning of term if you need some breathing space while you get into a new routine.

As a secondary teacher myself, I know how inflexible schools can be, but as you have a lovely colleague willing to swap then I think probably you'll be ok.

I'm sorry you're going through this - teaching is a hard enough job as it is without having to juggle an unwell husband and tricky childcare. Sending you strength!

It is @EnidSpyton but we don’t have the same classes and so they may say that we have been given those classes for a reason IYSWIM.

They might do but if your HoD as the subject specialist says they are fine with it pedagogically then I don't see what objection your Head could give. Your HoD is the expert here, not the Head.

It’s download day today. The HT is vanishingly unlikely to not be checking their emails and most heads will be in school today. I’d try them again by email today.

I’m a timetabler and in school today for results download.

You need to contact your HOD. The sooner they know the more likely they can help you. My head would be pretty annoyed if I rocked up on the first day of term with an issue like this and I’d not contacted anyone to let the know.

I’ve already spoken to my HOD . I do address this above, thank you. There’s nothing to be ‘annoyed’ about - I’ve sent an email which no one has replied to yet because it is school holidays .