Should my husband take a lower paid job he would enjoy more?

[TCRC]

A bit of backstory about my husband. He's worked in IT since 2013 and has worked his way up from the help desk to Application Support Lead and then into Project Management. He landed his first Project Manager role in January 2025 and quickly achieved his APMP qualification.
The downside was the salary, which was only around £37k. Around this time last year, one of his former managers approached him about joining a London-based start-up consultancy. We live in South Wales, so he only has to travel into the office around three times a month. He accepted the role in October, and the salary is much better at around £70k.
The problem is that, because it's a consultancy, the job security doesn't feel as strong. They're due to finish their current project in October, and while there are potentially more projects in the pipeline, nothing seems certain. On top of that, he finds the work quite boring, and it's frustratingly slow trying to get decisions or make progress.
Recently, his previous employer has offered him the opportunity to return. The catch is that the salary would only be around £45k, which is a huge pay cut. He's also been applying for other Project Manager roles in the £55k+ range, but most of them seem to want five or more years of PM experience, so he hasn't had much luck.
To complicate things further, we found out a few weeks ago that we're expecting our third child. We're currently in a small three-bedroom house and had originally planned to move within the next three to five years, but with another baby on the way, that timeline has probably moved forward.
He's really torn. His heart says to go back because he genuinely enjoyed the work there, found the projects interesting, and thinks he'd be much happier day to day. His head, though, is telling him to stay where he is, keep earning the higher salary, and provide as much financial security as possible for our growing family.
Am I crazy for thinking he should even consider taking such a big pay cut for a job he'd enjoy more? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

So 3-4 months out of work and he’s lost that £15k.

So a permanent contract would be more financially secure for you.

But no savings and a third child on the way

if he’s not getting £55k job then that £70k could have been a lucky break not to be repeated.

Part time. 22.5 hours a week. Means we don’t have to pay for childcare as parents can cover the days I’m working

What do you mean…permanent contract but they “let people go”?

How do you know we don’t have savings? I haven’t once said that. We do have savings. Enough to live in our current house for 6 months with no income. But that is emergency money which we could use if he lost his job.

They put them on a “bench” for 4 weeks and if no new work comes in they make them redundant. But as he has only been there 1 year it won’t be worth anything

What an utterly bizarre business model and not just to employ them as contractors

If you say so op .

multiple rounds of self financed ivf that required loans but turns out you do have savings.

ok

You knows the finances… what do you think he should do and when does he need to decide?

I'd stick with the 70k role but live like I was on 45k. That way you have a good safety net if it does go tits up.

That's not at all how consultancy works

Exactly

it is a very peculiar business model.

Read the consultancy contract as it sounds at best unusual. Is he an employee? Does he get annual leave and any benefits cover? Does he pay his own tax?
If the contract doesn’t give him security I’d firstly look at why he isn’t getting the £55k jobs. I wouldn’t pay a PM that after the limited amount of experience he has so I’d take the £45k if it’s perm.

Take the one he enjoys and offer to do consultancy freelance. Can probably make up the extra and it would be fine as long as mentioned at the point of hire. That could be their concession to secure him.

I think it’s a bit muddled. My interpretation is that at the end of this project, OP’s husband will be waiting for his next project within the firm, which in consultancy terms is referred to as “on the bench” - it’s very common.

I would take the happier role closer to home. I work in a large, established consultancy and it doesn’t feel like there’s much job security currently - the market has slowed and there’s a huge surge towards AI and offshoring to save costs. Large consultancies are feeling the pinch so it must be particularly volatile for a start up. It’s ringing alarm bells that it’s feeling quiet whilst on a project - it’d expect start up culture to be all hands on deck, and if you’re quiet you need to actively hustle by networking, doing side of desk business development or other value add activities. If your DH struggles to get utilised on another project soon (utilisation is a common performance metric in consultancy) he could soon be classed as a poor performer and managed out/made redundant.

It sounds like the job closer to home suits him far more - it sounds like he is trusted there, enjoys the work and the team and that for me is worth its weight in gold. Trust me, you don’t want the stress of struggling to get a new job when he should be preparing for paternity leave. I know of project managers with good degrees, 15 years+ managing tech projects for companies that are household names and have been struggling to find work for over 6-12 months.

million percent

Take the £45T job with a view to gain more experience in the field he enjoys and work up the ladder and pad out the CV. Parents sometime have to spend so much time away from their families, they should at the very least enjoy the job if possible.

Enjoying your job has so much more benefits that money just can't buy and it will make for a much happier homelife for the whole family.

There is a saying "do a job you love you can live within your means, do a job you hate you will always be in debt."

And congratulations on your parenting journey I have heard a few times of parents going on the IVF journey and then unwittingly falling pregnant.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I would take the £45k job, because I value security longer term. I’d then look at doing the PM consultancy as a side hustle - gain experience and to see if the work starts to feel for enjoyable. (As an ex PM I fully understand his frustration).

I’d put the house move on hold; more room would be nice but not the extra cost/pressure.

IR35 applies. IT is awash with people who are employees claiming to be contractors.

Take the £45k job and - as someone suggested- see if he can nudge it up to £50k.
Hold off on the house move for now.

This is important. Shelve moving house. Kids can share

Definitely that. We were in a similar situation - husband extremely stressed with his job, when a previous employer started up his own business in a similar field and offered him job. The salary was lower and, being a start up, was a step into the unknown as far as job security was concerned. That was the start of him actually enjoying his job. We had less money (I was also on slightly more than three minimum wage) and had two boys at Uni. We managed though.
Good luck,whatever you decide.

Have you done the sums? How much spare income would you have after paying all essential bills every month?

Taking a large pay cut and increasing the mortgage by £700- 900 per month sounds like a really bad idea. There are also going to be the additional costs of a third child.
I think it sounds completely unaffordable, with the numbers you have given.
You've probably also experienced lifestyle creep, as his income increased. It will be difficult to reverse this.

Local job where your DH is happy and job security sounds best to me. You spend so much of your life working its important that you enjoy the time if you can and as pp's have said the job market is terrible right now so a job you can rely on is vital especially with another baby on the way.