Being ‘managed out’?

[mtobrokeme]

Can someone explain to me, as though I am a child, what is meant when someone thinks they are being ‘managed out’ of a company they have worked for over 11 years please?

What examples of being managed out are there?

I am pretty sure that I am being subjected to behaviours that are leaving me of the opinion that they would like me to leave. However, since I have done nothing wrong, have been here so long (actually I am the longest serving member of staff) I feel they know they cannot ‘sack’ me and are doing things with the belief that I will only put up with things for so long before I quit anyway.

I would like some examples to see if my experience fits with this?

Thanks

I was left out of emails that I should have been on, same with in-person meetings. I’d find other people were doing tasks given to them by another manager not me, thus reducing the bandwidth of my team. They hired someone new with a different job title but ostensibly my role. My CEO hated me, with good reason (I called him out on his bullshit - he was later sacked!) so they were managing me out. Luckily they had to pay me off with 6 months salary and keeping my shares.

Sorry this is happening.

I would see being managed out as more being continuously pulled up on poor performance, but potentially not being offered proper support to improve, nor formal performance management. The subtext is usually “please leave before we start formal performance proceedings”.

What you’re experiencing might be more “face doesn’t fit”, where it tends to be about undermining the colleague and stopping them from taking a significant role in key pieces of work etc. It’s more about being sidelined. In my experience it tends to happen to more senior people - less so to junior people. But it can happen to junior people in scenarios, say, where they are viewed as being wedded to “old ways of thinking”.

I’m not sure if any of this fits with you, but sharing in case helpful.

These are all things that are happening to me. The added trouble is the Director the company is my BIL. He isn’t aware of what is happening, I have now had three meetings with him where he has explicitly stated this is not happening. To the point where he refused to accept my notice. It is the other two managers, who are on the same level as I am, that are causing the issues. My role has been changed 3 times in the last 12 months, I am being left out of emails and meetings that are part of my job role - but only when my director/BIL is not present. These meetings are taking place out of the office and with no notice given to me. I have been left with literally only scraps of work to do. I do not know what to do because he genuinely believes that all the changes have been made with my knowledge and are for the benefit of both me and the company because despite him being a very lovely boss, he is also very easily lied to and manipulated.

This really does fit. I want to be able to present it to my director with calm and clear evidence. My performance has never been questioned, in fact, it has been rewarded and commented on positively by the multiple colleagues. When I have previously challenged my director and given evidence he simply says no one wants you to leave, and I won’t accept your notice. But other more junior colleagues have commented over the last 12 months that it is in fact not ‘all in my head’. Today has been one of those days and i really can’t believe it’s come to this.

I am almost certain I am going to be managed out of my role in the next few months, on account of absolutely hating my job and this becoming evident in my performance/motivation. I have about 3 months to move internally to another team before formal performance management procedures begin. If I don’t find a role to move to, I will resign, however. Better to leave on ‘good standing’ than during a PIP. The complication for me is that I am an expat and I won’t have a right to work elsewhere when I leave initially.

If you don’t have the same issue I have, then I would jump before you’re pushed, if I were you.

I would hasten to add many of these things are presented to the director with a positive spin on them, he trusts these two colleagues implicitly with no questioning (he also does me comically!) and so goes ahead with them, despite these changes negatively affecting my role and only my role.

In my former workplace it meant things like this: Not being put on interesting or exciting projects. Always being put on low-level, low-visibility work. No promotions. No bonuses. No interesting KPIs. No being invited to nice-to-dos such as client celebrations. Having peers promoted above you. That sort of thing.
Thankfully I was never on either side of this personally, but saw it happening and it was openly spoken of in management meetings. I'm sorry if this is happening to you. It's horrible. My only advice is not to break your heart trying to fight it as you can't win. Try to go somewhere you will be appreciated.

Do you know what? It is breaking my heart because I am (was) very very good at my job and I adored it. I dread going now.

Agree with previous poster - you can’t win unless the people causing issues for you leave first. Better to move on, painful and frustrating as it is.

I would suggest if your BIL is the director and refused your notice you are being bullied rather than managed out.

He gave me a bonus of 1.5k last week to thank me for what l'm doing. He considers me part of the 'senior management' team. The last time I brought it up, his solution was to make me go out for lunch with him and the two people who have taken issue with me. I did and as I thought, they were nicely nicely and denied everything that I was saying. How do I get someone to see something he just doesn't want to see?!

It means making the work environment so deeply uncomfortable that the person leaves of their own accord, usually so broken down by that point that they don't have the energy to take their employer to a tribunal.

In one large organisation I worked in many years ago, it was a known HR tactic (I worked in HR) - to bully, belittle and denounce a person until they were so broken they would leave. They'd worked out the risk/cost and calculated that so few people would be strong enough to take them to tribunal (and, if they did, they still had to win; then, if they won, it wouldn't be much in the grand scheme of things), that it was much more cost effective to bully people out.

It's been much more obvious in my employers than the subtle sidelining some people mention. Your ideas are aggressively shot down before being claimed by someone else; you leave a job finished before you go on holiday, only to be called to a disciplinary when you return for allegedly not finishing the job; you're ignored or shouted down publicly; there's open sexism and favouritism etc. Two employers faked redundancy situations to get rid of the people they decided they didn't like.

It really doesn't matter why your employer is doing it or whether they can justify their actions or not. Once someone with power has decided you don't fit, you should start looking for a new job ASAP.

What you’re describing sounds more like bullying than managing someone out.

You might wish to consider legal advice, as if they want you to leave for whatever reason, you want to get as much money from them in a settlement, if it comes to that.

Start looking for a job elsewhere in any case.

Your employer cannot refuse your letter of resignation. If thats what you want to do, type it up and follow what's in your contact or staff handbook.
Or you can just sit back, take the money and keep copying BiL into the emails that you aren't doing x or y as per the others decisions.
What do you want out of this?

Evidence.

You collect it and sit down with him and go through it.

You can't really, when they're head in the sand like this. Collect evidence if you want a settlement or to take them to tribunal.

I want to be treated like what my job title is. I am office manager and have been for 11 years. All my responsibilities have basically been taken off me and given to a junior admin assistant or been stopped altogether under the guise of ‘freeing up my time’. That’s how it’s been presented to the director. But none of these responsibilities have been relaxed with anything else. I am literally sat there twiddling my thumbs. I just want my job!

There are lots of sneaky ways this can be done. Being left out of emails/meetings. Social meetups for drinks coffee and you're not invited. In jokes. Jobs being taken away from you and given to somebody else. Your usual desk/office moved. Being ignored in meetings. Anything to make you feel insecure.

In your shoes Id launch some "exciting new initiatives", as you have had all that time freed up for more important things. Just to make them squirm. A anti bullying campaign maybe?
But sadly, sometimes company cultures change and new people will try to force out the old hands. It happens all the time and it can be hard to fight. And as family are involved its a nightmare for you. Take some of the boring time to think on what your next steps should be.

The only example I have seen of this is a colleague who had been with the company in a selling role (not cold calling) and he was shifted to an admin role- they took away his company car and he no longer got bonuses, so his salary dipped seriously. He had been with the company 20 odd years so this wasn't enough to make him jump ship. The admin role involved lots of unpaid overtime, then they moved him to another section wilth more people to manage, and a much heavier workload. That still didn't do it, so they started making the experienced administrators under him redundant, and replaced them with recent graduates- which hugely increased his workload. I was asked to train some of the graduates, but I refused as it was not in my job description and they had no intention of lightening the workload to facillitate training. My colleague had to take a greater and greater workload- the mangement fully intended to contiue until he broke and went off sick, then they would get rid of him when he couldn't return to work-brutal.

Me and a colleague were put on PIPs by a new manager. With my colleague she’d been questioning her part time status and asking if she’d like to do something else at a lower level and she couldn’t possibly do the job in 4 days. For me I got really woolly feedback and no specific targets to meet in the PIP. The manager would side with everyone else and ask questions about my involvement in things. Even asked my mentor what we talked about and asked for feedback (my mentor was livid as I’d told her what was going on). Eventually I was made redundant- clearly told not due to performance but she was so thick she made a pigs ear of it

I agree with PP that you’re being bullied out. You’re very good at your job and they’re taking advantage of the director - they’re sabotaging you. Speak up for yourself 💖

That’s truly horrific - I feel sad that this happened to your colleague.

I'm being managed out currently. Have been being sidelined from decisions and responsibilities taken off me and given to others (without it being recognised that these were mine originally). But we're a small company where I'm the only person in my role level so boss's plan is to propose a restructure that makes my role redundant. I don't think there's much I can do stop this. It's crap because - like you OP - I do/did really enjoy my job, and am good at it. An office manager is a good versitile thing to be though - everywhere needs a good office manager, so maybe you could find a new role where you're more appreciated?