I'm pretty useless at being a SAHM. so I think I need to go back to work

[moodlumthehoodlum]

I've done my time - dd is 4 and ds will be 3 soon. But I'm looking at jobs which are 5 days a week full on, and whenever I think about it, the guilt takes over.

Obviously this opens up the whole debate, but surely its better to be a fulfilled WOHM that spends good quality time with their children and doesn't need to worry as much about money than a SAHM that is a bit shouty and a bit grumpy?

Only you know how you really feel about it all, but personally I don't feel guilty at all. Strange I know. I feel tired and fed up and stressed sometimes but nothing compared to how desperate I felt at home full time with children.

Thanks. Its helpful to know that guilt isn't a must do for getting a job.

Part of me feels guilty and the other part feels like celebrating the fact that the pressure to be a perfect SAHM is lifted.

Of course you should do what is going to make you fulfilled and happy - you absolutely should not feel guilty about that. Your children won't thank you for being a martyr.

However, I think that there are worse things than being 'a bit shouty and grumpy', and it's a shame that you felt you had to be a perfect SAHM. Do you feel that you have to be perfect when you undertake paid work? I don't, but then I'm a complete slacker.

would part-time ease the guilt!?

PW you're absolutely right, and I have never thought about it like that. DCs will never thank me for being a martyr.

Wise words PW.

That's the first time I've been called 'wise' on here. Time to log off while the going's good...

I think if you would be happier going back to work then you should do that.

I found that with work I knew what was expected of me, I knew what I was doing. As a sahm (as I am now) the goalposts are constantly shifting.

Sort out your childcare options, work out your finances and get applying for some jobs.

Good luck.

Don't feel guilty. Negative emotions drain you of energy. Save your energy for doing a good job when at work and being a fab mum when at home instead!

You're all right. Guilt is a very unproductive emotion.

The goalposts are constantly shifting, and some days being a SAHM is so blardy hard, but you can't dismiss it like you would a bad day at the office. I think working, be it part time or full time, must give you some perspective, and a reality check. But maybe the grass is always greener!