How best to handle our friend being hired as our manager?

[unofficiallymusical]

There are three of us (A (me), B and C) who worked together at a previous job (3 years), A and B at the same level and C the level above, but not directly managing A and B. We became friends (it was just us three and the boss), we have stayed friends in the 5 years since that job finished We have attended each others weddings, B and C spent Christmas together when circumstances made it impossible to return to home countries.

Two of us (A and B) are working for a new company with the same boss, and continued to be both close friends and colleagues (something I would usually try and avoid at work, but we have just really got on and know each others families well) and the third has been offered position as our manager. We have stayed friends with C also.

C is unhappy in her current position and a very competent and capable worker and manager, and I would be delighted to work with her again. However I am a bit worried that our 3 way close relationship will make things a bit complicated. I DO NOT want to suggest she doesn't take the role (which she wouldn't if I suggested it), as she is so miserable in her current role, and I have no problem with her being senior than me, but I wonder is there anything to be done now before she starts work in 2 months to somehow make this easier? Both myself and B are feeling the same, really would be delighted to work together again (kind of a dream for us), but strange about being direct reports of our friend. I haven't asked C how she feels about this, as I don't want to make her feel she shouldn't take what is a really good role for her.

How many other people will be reporting to her?

you need to make sure that you don’t expect special favours because you are friends and she doesn’t expect you to do extra/help beyond your remit because you are friends

Just the two of us for now, but company likely to grow in future. In terms of managing our work I don't see an issue, I think when it comes to performance reviews/raises/bonuses it could get awkward.

Keep your friendship out of the office by which I mean don’t be making arrangements to meet up or chat about nights out etc. Also respect that if you say something to her about a problem at work “as a friend” the chances are she’ll need to do something about it as your manager. Keep your boundaries clear in work, don’t get into off the record discussions or chat about things she might know in her capacity as a manager that the workforce don’t know yet. It’s a tricky line to walk but to preserve the friendship you need to know where the line is.

I had a similar situation OP and it didn't end well. Me and my friend met at work years ago, both went on to different opportunities at different organisations but stayed in touch and became friends. We ended up working together at a new organisation in a small team and it impacted the friendship (and that was without a management dynamic at play). I wanted to have professional boundaries at work, but her behaviour towards me was anything but (inappropriate jokes, comments and basically the behaviour ended up amounting to harassment). She never behaved to others that way.
I wanted to keep the friendship separate, but it was not possible.
I ended up leaving that role, but our friendship has forever changed and I would never work with a friend again.

My advice would be, establish clear boundaries from the get-go and make sure they are always respected by all parties.
When it comes to pay reviews, etc. then HR should also be involved to ensure fairness.

Hope it works better for you than it did for me.

I think you're overthinking it. I've been good friends with a lot of my bosses over the years. It's not hard to separate the two roles. You just treat each other the same as you would outside of work, but with the proviso that when in work, your boss has the final say on stuff.

Thanks for the advise! I think I may be overthinking things. C is not the type to make any inappropriate or disrespectful comments, and I trust her to maintain professional boundaries. It may be that we have to distance ourselves friendship wise for the years we work at the company, but I do think we have deep enough roots that friendship will be intact in the longer term. It is likely we will only be at this company for 5 or so years due to the nature of the industry.

I manage one of my closest friends. There's no issue as neither of us would use the friendship for special favours or anything like that. I'm conscious not to reference our friendship much in front of others in the team (e.g. if we've gone out outside of work) so they don't feel excluded.

I also made it very clear to my other reports that anything they say to me at work is kept between us and it would never get back to my friend.

Basically I think it works fine if everybody is grown up and everyone is tactful.