Hostility from older colleagues now I'm in leadership

[Liesmorelies]

I am in a senior leadership role. There are a few older men (I'm not much younger than them, but these men rose to positions of power considerably younger than the average woman) who used to be in senior roles and have now stepped back and gone part time. They are highly resistant to anything I do and implement. I have had outright hostility from them such as turning their back when I have entered a room, saying 'No!' when I asked one of them to carry a very small item to a room he was going to while I was dealing with an issue, walking off mid-conversation when I have joined a group - you get the picture.

The fact is none of them did anything much when they were in roles commensurate with the role I am in now. Our organisation has reached crisis point and I am at the forefront of trying to address the issues. They've been left alone for years and are now being asked to make changes and they don't like it. Some have strengths for sure but others would probably be best off just stepping right back at this point.

How do I deal with this? Some I even got on with before having this role and it's hurtful. Leadership above me is weak beyond belief.

Document everything - minutes of meetings, asks over email.
Anything that they have control over but are being obstructive over, make plain and clear asks and cc in management - I need x by y to deliver z. If this is not possible please explain why.
Start expanding the mandate of other (helpful) colleagues on the working groups you need to get your projects done.
Management may be weak but they can’t ignore evidence and will be more receptive if there’s a solution/alternative.

Btw two small caveats: 1) the examples of carry stuff make your asks seem petty; leave some of that stuff and ask a junior to fetch it after and market yourself as effective and of equal seniority. 2) Be mindful of their contributions you’re not aware of - many roles ago I had to work with an elder statesman type - utterly useless at the job on paper but had industry connectivity which I begrudgingly admit was helpful in very specific instances

Is there a particular ringleader?

How many of them are there?

What do you think they are trying to achieve?

What is the organisation trying to achieve?

men of my generation are very sexist and don’t respect women. I don’t respect anyone who has someone else washing their underpants!

I’m having issues with two older men who I manage. There have been occasions where they’ve disagreed with decisions I’ve made and gone behind my back to ask someone else instead (who also agreed with my decision and reiterated it to them). I dealt with this head on. I spoke to them both separately, asked why they did what they did (keeping it open and non-confrontational). I then made it very clear it wasn’t to happen again etc.

Another issue is not keeping me updated with things that are happening on the team (high risk work matters and personal matters such as staff being granted compassionate leave). I then look like an idiot when I have to say “I didn't know about that case” or, “I don’t know why X is on compassionate leave”. I document all of this in emails, asking why I wasn’t updated and how, going forward, I’d like to be kept informed. The response to the latest one was “I don’t need to bother you. I can manage my own staff”. I replied “I appreciate you can manage your own staff, but as I manage the team as a whole, I want to know”. (No response to that). It’s clear we’re going to have to keep having these pissing contests.

I think it’s deep rooted misogyny and arrogance. My way to deal with this is to keep addressing it and keep documenting it until they get the message. It’s exhausting and feels like having a child that you have to keep telling what to do. I won’t let them undermine me or continue though. I hope that, eventually, they’ll get the message.

It’s personal development review time at work and I will be (professionally of course) mentioning it within their performance reviews, to show there are “areas for development”.

I cant stand people like that. But this should have been dealt with years ago. Its left you in an impossible position.
Luckily not all work places are like that. Im 64, my boss is 30 and we get on like a house on fire.