Turned down a Civil Service job and now regretting it

[Hellothereitisme]

I turned down a Civil Service job and am feeling very down about it. I turned it down because the office was 1 hour and 20-30 minutes away. Due to the working hours, I would be out of the house from 7:30am-7:20pm three days a week, which would mean I wouldn't see my young children on those days. However, I can't help but feel deep regret about my decision.

I currently teach part time but feel very ready to get out of teaching, although I know it has benefits. How can I stop feeling such regret? Please be kind to me, it was a really hard decision and it has been making me very upset 💔

Contact the person in charge of the recruiting and see if you can change your decision.

Well you've missed the deadline for giving notice and leaving at the end of the summer term, so the next point would be leaving at Christmas. Lots of time to find a role closer to home if the hours and commute would be a problem in the job you turned down.

Well done for putting yourself out there and being offered the job in the first place. I have young kids and would hate to not see them 3 days a week. Mine are young enough to be in bed and asleep by the time you'd be getting home. Presumably you knew the commute distance and hours from the job advert, what made you apply if those 2 factors weren't a good fit for you?

Is it your decision to not take the job that you regret, or is it that you got your hopes up about leaving teaching and are upset not to have found the way out yet? If its the first one, contact the new job employers and have an honest conversation with them what is holding you back from accepting and how you feel about rejecting. If it's the latter, there will be other opportunities.

Would it not have been possible to move nearer to the job? Or request work from home for a day or two? Civil service jobs are very flexible generally in that respect. I’d apply again and explore those options.

I’d remind yourself that you had a solid reason to turn it down - a long commute is wearing, and all the more so if you’re juggling young children alongside that. Most civil service departments now mandate 60% of your time in the office, so this particular job just wasn’t the right one for you at this time.

I’d also acknowledge that the regret you’re feeling is because you’ve recognised you do really want a change of career. Turn the regret into action and keep on applying to vacancies closer to home - civil service and elsewhere: many companies are a lot more flexible than they used to be in terms of core hours and hybrid working.

Sounds like you made the right decision and that job wasn’t quite right for you. That’s a big commute! Hopefully something else will come up that suits you better

A new opportunity will arise at some point. You prioritised seeing your children which is always more important. You did the right thing.

I think I might have taken the job and then tried to get a move or negotiate flexibility
All you can do now is keep applying

I don't have children, but appreciate how draining a similar commute time was when I did it.

I'd have potentially taken the job:
-And seen how the commute went. It might have taken even longer than you initially thought or less
-Once settled, I'd have asked if there was any scope for say compressed hour, less days in the office, closer office or an earlier or later start time to accomodate the commute
-If really bad then I would have looked at other jobs within the CS.

You got the job so your clearly have great potential. All the best.

You must have done well on your application and sift OP. Keep looking, current recruitment means a new job from application to start could well take until Christmas. Enjoy the summer, get job alerts every day and keep going.

It's very hard, I tried for ages, then got four offers in a week - so difficult to choose. Then absolutely chose the wrong one but started new applications after 3 months and had moved by 9 (before someone says 'but you can't do that if you're not through probation': internally no you can't but if you keep applying as an external candidate, yes you can).

I firmly believe in everything happening for a reason. I don’t mean in the ‘woo’ sense, but more that you turned it down for a reason, it’s easier to be romantic about something that isn’t a reality. You will be actively seeking something else now. Soemthing more appropriate for you, and when it happens, you will say to yourself “im so glad it worked out this way!” My version of everything for a reason, things just haven’t settled yet.

Thank you for this. This perspective really helped me

The last time I turned down a job i got a much better one less than a week later. This was after months of searching! I shudder now, literally shudder at how much worse my life would have been had i taken job 1. I LOVE job 2. Definitely did the right thing. You don't know what's around the corner.

Did you know that you can apply for term time only in the civil service?

They are VERY flexible. They would be open to adjustments if you have a valid reason. I would call the vacancy holder and explain your situation. You might be able to come to an arrangement that suits you both.

Exactly this, very well explained. The hours would be really hard with young children, for you and them! I've been there and done that.

What's meant for you won't go by you.

It wasn't meant to be.

Just think of those 3 hours a day where you’d be sitting in the car in traffic feeling guilty that you weren’t seeing your kids and feeling frustrated that you can’t do anything productive with the time. Then getting home, tidying up, flopping into bed and then doing it all again the next day..