Struggling with confidence at work after bullying following long term sickness

[user909987]

I was bullied at work after returning from a long term sickness 7 years ago and it has had a huge impact on my confidence at work. I know i can do my job that part isn't the problem.
I constantly feel like I am a difficult/problem employee. If I say I can't help with a task because I'm busy doing something else I have guilt and see myself as a problem and that the team will be annoyed with me. I think I have been overcompensating with my work just to try and feel part of the team.
I hate feeling like this and I just want the feeling to go away.

Were you bullied at this job or a previous one? Is there issues at this job or is it all how you’re perceiving it?

Just to be clear, you came back from sick leave 7 years ago and have been bullied since or was there a period of bullying 7 years ago that has since stopped?

Is it now just yourself thinking how colleagues are perceiving you?

Sorry should have made it clearer, I returned 7 years ago and bullied for about 2. It has stopped since but even the slightest comment that someone says can make me over think. For example this week I was working in the back and a colleague comes and states loudly lucky you having a calm and quiet job whilst were rushed off our feet. I know it sounds pathetic getting upset about little comments like that but I just don't want to be seen as a problem.

Hi there perhaps try reframing the comments so they seem less harsh, perhaps respond with humour, yes it’s great thank you I do enjoy being quiet, put the onus back on them. It’s difficult not to feel upset but just bounce every thing back to them and see how that’s makes you feel. Good luck

I'm not surprised you're still effected years later @user909987 , workplace bullying is utterly soul destroying.
I don't have any advice for how to get over it, but I would say, be patient and gentle with yourself.
I really hope you find some way to resolve the insecurity.

Sweets, you need a new job.
Actually applying will be really tough, as the market is so saturated, there are likely to be rejections, which will reinforce your misguided view you are inadequate. But honestly, you deserve to feel respected, not an inconvenience.
The right place of work will help you with this.

Got to go, more later. BTDT.

I agree with the above it sounds like you need a fresh start

Right, im back.
I spent 2.5 years working for someone who spent their time undermining me, and making me feel worthless. It was awful, but they convinced me my worth was low.

I started applying for jobs, and the rejections were really tough - reinforcing the "fact" that I wasn't worthy.

It took one application to land on the desk of the right person, and a year on im transformed. My worth is valued. My skills are appreciated. And after 4 months, when the guy who recruited me handed in his notice, my colleagues persuaded me to stick my head above the parapit and express my interest. I got the promotion, and have just completed 6 monthsin that role, with an assessment paraphrased as "we haven't felt this comfortable with the running of the department in years, and it's amazing for us to know we don't need to keep checking in, because we are certain all is under control".

Please don't let your awful colleagues determine your worth and lower your self esteem. Get out, and find somewhere who lifts you up, not puts you down. But, hazard warning, you'll find a lot if frogs before you kiss your prince.

I left my job about 8 months ago because of bullying after coming back from sick leave for mental health issues.

As soon as I came back from that sick leave I was excluded from meetings, had unfair comments made about me as a person, people in the team with no knowledge of my area of work was encouraged to criticise everything I did and some of my responsibilities were taken from me and my manager did as much as they could to make my job impossible to do.

I made an official complaint for disability discrimination and accepted a financial settlement.

It destroyed my confidence in my skills and experience and my self-confidence in general. I felt like a fraud, old and useless.

Thankfully I did some freelancing for some decent people after leaving that job and this slowly restored a bit of my confidence but it is only now after 8 months that I am starting to believe that I have something to offer to a workplace.

So my advice would be look for another job because a toxic work environment will slowly but surely destroy any belief you have in yourself.