Presentation at work went badly and I cannot stop reliving it

[petterflies]

I had to give a presentation at work. I prepared it, thought I knew what to say and really thought it would be fine.
In the moment, it was truly terrible because I froze, missed so much information and really messed it up. This was in front of many colleagues and quite important people. My colleagues just felt sorry for me, the rest just think I’m a clown.
It’s now after midnight and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve let this colour my whole day and evening, I’m desolate.
I think I’m blowing it out of proportion and want to ask for your support, stories of your experiences to get me over this quickly.
I’m wondering if this part of something deeper, brain fog, perimenopause (it’s not the first time this happened, just not so publicly).

I’ve seen this happen to tv presenters, actors on stage, teachers and professionals who speak in public for a living. We are all human just trying our best.

It’s easily done, happens more than you’d think and everyone else will have returned to their lives and forgotten about it.

I did a presentation (I was bricking it and did ok hiding this fact), something I said two people disagreed with each other and had quite a verbal fight and nearly got physical, all in a posh boardroom, all whike I was stood at the front with a pointer stick!

@petterflies I had to give a presentation to a room full of very high powered and influential men many years ago. I was experienced in my role and a pretty extrovert sort of person. Well I froze, went blank, fluffed my lines and my whole body trembled, until half way through when I decided I just couldn't go on. So I pretended to faint. Yep, I let out a huge sigh and hit the deck with a thump. It became the stuff of legend in the company.

I had this. It was like I was on another planet. What you will not realise is that the audience didn’t experience 90% of the angst that you did, so what you didn’t communicate the best. The best communicators are often the slipperiest. ( we have a new example in Scotland). Be yourself. Embrace your weaknesses and be open to improve. People like that immensely as it shows integrity. Being imperfect can actually be beneficial xx

Thank you for all these stories, feeling a lot better and not so alone (still cringing now and again and dreading Monday) and managed to enjoy today!
I remember a conference many years ago seeing a colleague having something similar- completely blank with a red face, his career didn’t end because of a public speaking malfunction 😅

Can you think of a single time someone fucked up a presentation at work and you’ve given it a second thought?

Of course not. No one cares as much as you and no one will remember next week.

Go get a huge glass of wine and write it off as a character building learning experience.

The post about pretending to faint 🤣

Exactly! While I won’t pretend something like this wouldn’t make me overthink/ ruminate, we all forget and get over it eventually. Try to distract yourself over the weekend. Will be fine by Monday.

I had a terrible interview a few months ago. I still can’t decide if they already had someone lined up or I really am that bad. Anyway, the first few days I was constantly thinking about it and cringing. I was mortified but it passed. In a couple of weeks the presentation will be a distant memory

I can't do big presentations, perhaps I should have done more and got over it but just so stressful. My voice would shake and however well I prepared it would be a disaster. Huge sympathy, some of us are just not good at this without lots of practice, which is also really difficult.

Awh I'm sorry OP! These things happen though. I remember being asked to do a presentation a couple of years ago for my new team to introduce a new system and set of processes.

I spent ages making it and I tried really hard but when I got there I was so nervous. I have a really quiet voice as well, but I did my best. My male manager kept interrupting me though, and I was mortified more because there was an absolute flurry of complaints about misogyny and how I had been treated so badly. As a young woman trying to progress at work, it felt like such a failure and embrassment to have the only thing taken away from the whole thing was that I was a damsel in distress and was a talking point for ages 🥲

Genuinely do not worry. Everyone who presents has had - or will have - bad days. It is really okay. Find a book, watch a television show, do a jigsaw and distract yourself. You will feel better after a sleep and 1000 times better in a week.

Same happened to me a whilst back. It was horrific. Infront of all of sales too. I’m senior in my role and people seem me out to engage on certain things. I totally flopped.

Made my way home and couldn’t stop reliving it. WhatsApp’d my director and explained how I felt. He was lovely.

In career planning I decided I wanted to develop public speaking skills as that was hanging over me and I had become anxious merely at the thought. I ended up mic’d up on a stage infront of 1000 colleagues. Anxiety was mental. Euphoria after was immense. I wouldn’t volunteer now but if made to do it I wouldn’t feel the anxiety I did. That was a huge achievement for me.

The majority of people are not used to presenting. It probably wasn’t as bad as you thought and people will understand. If they even noticed at all! Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Did anyone tell you they felt sorry for you or thought you were a clown? Asking kindly bscsuse our brains make up things that aren't there and dont serve us. We can only know for sure what we observe and know to be true.

Its really difficult to stop replaying and thknking about things. But honestly I doubt anyone else is thinking about it. Maybe own it, talk to your manager about hpw it went, learn and it can go better from your perspective in future

Yes exactly the same has happened to me, a colleague told me afterwards that it was nowhere near as bad as I thought, but I was convinced that she was just being kind.

It really knocked my confidence in public speaking for a long time, but I did a workshop on it and realised that most people find it difficult, and most of us are our own worst critic. These feelings will pass, I can guarantee that no-one at work is thinking about it as much as you, don't be too hard on yourself.

Nobody called me a clown- that is my feeling really. I was in a group, three of us and the first two were great, I felt like the clown at the end messing everything up. I’m usually quite friendly, relaxed and happy at work so this was quite raw too, like my mask slipped.

There was definite sympathy/ feeling sorry for me. One colleague said she wanted to come up on stage and help me- silly comment really as she has no clue about what I was trying to talk about 😅. Others empathised, because it’s happened to them of course before.
I was so upset because I had in my mind it would be a good one and it flopped.
The support on this thread has helped enormously to get out of my own head and by this time tomorrow, I hope I’ve moved on and just crack on with the job.

This is awful that your manager was interrupting. Was he trying to help you or more heckling? I’m sorry that you had this experience, sounds like he made a difficult moment much worse

I feel for you as I have a phobia of public speaking. I actually feel like I'm going to faint. It goes back to being bullied at school.

It's easy for me to say but I admire you massively fot doing it and those with empathy will understand how awful it can be. Those who judge aren't worth your energy worrying about.

This will just be a bad memory very soon.

Use it to your advantage. Just go to your immediate boss, say I don't think that went as well as it should, can you please book me a 'how to present' course.

Most people are just waiting for everything to finish, and will have forgotten it already

Listen to him he is probably correct. We are always our own harshest critics.
Put it behind you.

I think this might be an update of a link previously shared by someone on this topic. Debunking Six Myths About Public Speaking Anxiety https://share.google/TQQUA9gCdtPW2j89m

I found this really helpful. Particularly, the audience faces bit. Passive listeners often have no expressions or can even look hostile if they're concentrating.

I remember Faisal Islam freezing on the news or Newsnight a few years ago. Really froze, completely lost his train of thought. Even for a viewer, it felt like about 10 seconds so can you imagine what he was going through on live tv? He had so many supportive messages on Twitter and thanked people. The point is, it happens even to people who do this stuff every day.

Please don't dwell on it anymore. Just tell yourself "it's done, can't do anything about that, move on."

Even the best of public speakers and most senior of leaders have had complete shockers, honestly.

I am senior in my organisation and present at meetings most days, as well as delivering training regularly. I’m generally seen as a very confident, competent speaker I think. Been doing it for years and thought I’d got over my youthful fear of public speaking / tendency to blush or go blank…

Had a dreadful (truly awful) experience presenting to an outside organisation with my CEO present last year. I was well prepared, knew my stuff etc - but got the heaviest period in the world that morning and I don’t know if it was hormones or what, but I just kept going blank, tripping over my words, not being able to find the right word etc. I could feel myself getting hot and my mouth getting dry. It was like a feverish nightmare, honestly!

I was mortified afterwards and don’t remember the rest of the meeting. It was traumatic and I thought maybe a career ender for me, as my CEO would surely think I was a moron. When I had recovered enough to speak to him about it a few days later, he was puzzled that I was so upset about it and says ‘ach, we all have slightly off days. You got the message across, don’t sweat it’.

You might have cocked up and feel awful, and yes, others noticed, but I promise you, everybody else has moved on. You’ll do fantastic future presentations and this will be a distant memory before you know it.

I should add, I have seen many, many bad presentations in my time . The ones I judge are the obviously poorly prepared people, not those who for whatever reason get brain freeze or stage fright. Thats just being human.