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Would I be mad to leave a dream job over poor management?

7 replies

TheOliveDreamer · 25/05/2026 23:53

OK long story coming up. I got a dream job with a dream company. I've done this work before. It became apparent early on that there have been some rubbish managers before me and some issues to resolve. They haven't been super forthcoming with support or training and I've increasingly felt micromanaged. My manager is out of her depth basically and wants me to hold her a lot mainly while she embarks on her own development. She has no qualms with rearranging my work, has an increasing tendency to contradictoriness and changing her mind. If I challenge her I'm framed as being difficult. It's the first time I've had this at work and I don't mind the challenge of learning skills. However I'm questioning everything I do, feel like I'm having to unlearn things, and my mental health is suffering. Am I mad to leave?

OP posts:
SimplyFran · Yesterday 04:13

Questioning everything you do is the part that takes a long time to undo once it's properly set in, and from what you've described it sounds like it's already setting in, which is the bit that would concern me more than the management problems themselves. You can leave a bad manager. The habit of second-guessing your own judgment is harder to shake, because it follows you out the door.

The "dream company" thing is worth sitting with, though, because I think it can skew how you're weighing this up, it gives you a reason to keep reframing what's happening as a problem you should be able to solve, rather than a situation that might just be what it is. I stayed too long in a job once for roughly the same reason, not dream company exactly but a manager I kept thinking would eventually be consistent if I could just get the communication right, and she never was, not because she was awful but because she genuinely couldn't see what she was doing. The framing of you as "difficult" when you push back is a specific thing worth noticing, because that one tends not to shift.

I dont know if you're actually asking whether to leave or whether you've already made the decision and want someone to tell you it's not mad, and I think the answer to what you should do next is pretty different depending on which one it is. If you haven't decided yet, the mental health piece is real and it shouldn't be the last thing on the list. If you have decided, then you probably already know.

Whether it's mad, no, I dont think so at all, leaving a job that's doing this to you isn't mad just because the company looked good from outside.

Scarlettjune · Yesterday 15:23

It's a tough one. I feel like my manager is ruining my mental health. Amy time that i have stood up to her, her behaviour gets worse. We don't have a HR department either

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · Yesterday 15:25

It's not a dream job and framing it as such is probably not helping you think clearly. Micromanagement will destroy your confidence; get out while you can.

TheOliveDreamer · Today 00:20

Thanks. First post is right, I know what to do.

OP posts:
babbi · Today 00:25

I’m a great believer in that people don’t leave bad jobs , they leave bad managers .
@WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz is bang on the money … it’s not a dream job …

move on for your sanity ..
good luck

wrinklycactus · Today 09:08

It's not your dream job if your manager is making you feel this way.

Hogwartsian · Today 10:06

I am in a similar situation! Got the dream job, hours I always wanted etc etc, but my manager is just awful. She micromanages, talks over me, nitpicks, contradicts herself etc etc, and after a few years of putting up with it, I feel I really must just leave. I hung on so long because I hoped she would change if she learned she could trust me and understood me better. But no, that is just her personality and we clash.

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