How would you handle a dismissive manager over increased office attendance?

[Pinkie89]

A manager at my workplace often has an attitude. She’s not a team player and is one of those that’s “I did this, I did that”, meanwhile ignoring everything her team has done. If you challenge/offer a differing opinion she is very defensive and not at all supportive.

We have been told we need to attend the office more. Concerns about this were raised during the meeting but she pulled faces, dismissed them and said things like “it’s longest for me to travel so you’ll all have to suck it up”… it’s actually about even in terms of commute and she completely ignored the fact that she earns considerably more than the people in her team. I’m fed up of biting my tongue at her appalling attitude and the suck it up comment has frustrated me, it’s so unprofessional! She shows no compassion or support generally. What would you do in this scenario? I’m considering e-mailing her and raising my concerns with HR. She hasn’t done anything particularly bad however her general attitude stinks and a number of people in the team are not happy and it’s building up to people feeling over worked and under appreciated and I’m fed up of being looked at and spoken to like an idiot!

I think the condition you refer to should be the focus of any complaint about more days in an office. You are in a sense asking for a reasonable adjustment to minimise any impact of your condition. I am assuming that your employer knows about this and did when employing you to begin with.

More generally I think that the changes to employment law recently introduced should have included requirements about when changes to office attendance are sought. Verbal agreements and/or custom and practice should be an implied term of employment, so requiring formal periods of notice for a change.

Thank you. I was diagnosed whilst in my current role but I did immediately inform them. I’m nervous of playing on that too much to the point they say I’m unfit for work… I’m totally not, and I’ve managed from home perfectly fine. But hopefully I’m protected in some way from that?

I think you need to consider what you want to achieve and why. If you consider you need a reasonable adjustment to a total work from home contract or to attend the office less frequently on health / disability grounds, then ask for an occupational health assessment; then you can give permission for your consultant / GP to provide medical evidence. What muddies the water is that you mention her salary as a reason why she can attend the office more than you - it is totally unrelated. We expect more senior staff to model behaviour by attending slightly more frequently, unless they have a reasonable adjustment, but this is related to leadership, not salary.

You also mention childcare. While looking after children is an additional pressure in terms of energy, which may be more difficult for you due to your health condition. Conflating this issue with additional childcare or commuting costs would likely be unhelpful.

Excellent post, possibly another HR Professional like myself. Good questions OP, can give us a better understanding.

In terms of working from home, in an ideal world I would like to keep the terms I agreed to and had up until now… 1 day in the office a month. Realistically, and to compromise, 1 day a week would be doable.

In terms of the attitude of the manager, I’d like for her to not speak down to me or like I’m an idiot, in a sarcastic manner whilst she pulls faces at me like I’m beneath her.

I mentioned her salary because after I asked whether the financial implications had been considered, she said she has the longest commute (it’s pretty even) so therefore the rest of us should suck it up. In this context, I feel she has failed to understand that the financial impact will not be as significant on her as it will others as she will earn considerably more (a few grades higher). I don’t expect her or any other managers to be in the office more than anyone else.

I’m also disgruntled at the fact that 2 days ago we were told by a director that it wouldn’t be mandatory. A day later it’s been made mandatory by the directors subordinate!

Verbally agreeing to ‘roughly’ once a month or once a week in the office means nothing, I’m afraid. I totally agree with PP that you need to go down the occupational health assessment route and request specific exemptions from office attendance due to your disability, backed up by a recommendation from your doctor. I wouldn’t mention your boss, her salary, or your childcare needs anywhere in the request. Good luck.

Someone in my team went to HR recently to tell them they non specifically didn’t like my attitude towards them. The root of it was they are massively underperforming and don’t like being given feedback and being asked to do their job. It didn’t go down well with HR (or me, or my manager!) That’s the risk you run if you go to HR with vague accusations.

What sticks out from your post is the director saying it’s not mandatory and his subordinate saying it is - I’d ask for formal clarification of that in those terms and go from there. Shift your focus away from your manager and onto your own needs - complaining about her pulling faces isn’t going to get you less days in the office.

Separately about your boss, give her feedback about that meeting directly to her and politely with examples - for instance pointing out that it was insensitive not to acknowledge the financial impact. You don’t know what pressure she is under or what issues she is dealing with, and she may not realise how she is coming across. Don’t go on a crusade representing the whole team tho, you can only represent yourself.

I totally get your position by the way - I’d be very pissed off if I’d agreed once a week and the goalposts moved. You build your life around it don’t you and it’s not easy to change it up because someone decides you need to be in the office more (also single parent).

Thank you. Fortunately I’ve never been told I’m underperforming or received any negative feedback, and this is evidenced in annual and half year reviews and ratings.

I will definitely ask for clarification. It seems a bit suspicious that his subordinate is implementing something he said wouldn’t be implemented just a day prior. I work for a very large company so I’d have expected clearer and consistent messaging. This subordinate is new to the team and they are the ones driving the change apparently.

After thinking about it all night I think I do need to raise it with her, like you say politely and constructively. It’s nice to hear someone else thinks this is a way forward. I don’t want to become increasingly frustrated resulting in things escalating. I will only represent myself, as much as I’d love to back up my thoughts with how others are feeling, I won’t throw them under the bus. This manager is stressed, has a lot on, has been working long hours and apparently was crying in work recently. However, we are all under immense pressure at the moment.

Yes definitely. I can’t imagine losing 4 hours a week due to commuting when I don’t stop til gone 9pm as it is! It doesn’t sound like a lot but it will mean less time with the kids, increased stress, less money. I wonder if the people making these decisions who earn considerably more, that don’t have children and live closer to the office actually consider the impact it has!