How do I recover confidence after a toxic experience at work?

[Goldielocks2p22]

This feels more structured, clearer and stronger without losing how personal it is:

I’ve always been someone who throws everything into work. Large company, multiple promotions, recognised through internal programmes for high performers, always up for a challenge and consistently delivering.

Last year I moved into a new area of the business after being headhunted by a director. What should have been a great opportunity turned into one of the worst experiences of my life.

The environment became incredibly toxic — micromanagement, gaslighting, emotional manipulation and constant undermining. I raised concerns through the proper channels, but the handling of it made things even worse. Eventually I had no choice but to go off sick.

Due to failures in how the situation was managed, which the company has since acknowledged, I ended up being off for almost a year on full pay. My formal grievance was finally heard three months ago and upheld, and I’ve now moved into another part of the business.

I genuinely thought I’d recovered from it all. But today, during a conversation with a senior leader about my new role and being placed into an area I’ve got no prior experience in, I realised how much the whole situation has actually affected me.

I used to love my job. I’ve always been confident taking on new challenges and pushing myself. I’ve always been an overachiever, despite attempts by certain people to suggest otherwise.

It’s strange realising that even when you “move on” physically, mentally you can still be carrying the weight of what happened.

How do I get over the actual trauma of what has happened? I had CBT therapy when I first went off but as it situationally based we agreed I didn’t need any further help.

This is quite vague, presumably as it was written by chat GPT given the top line of the post. It’ll be easier for people to advise if you give more detail in your own words on what exactly happened, why you were off for a year, what the outcome was and what it was about the conversation you had today that was triggering

I’d move to an entirely different job if I were you. You’ve been placed into an area you have no experience of which will further undermine your confidence unless you have a very supportive team. I’d rather make a fresh start.

Started in a role I’ve very experienced in, required a lot of strategy, working with difficult stakeholders. It has alot of visibility across the company.

When I arrived from day dot, very controlling. Needed to know my every doing. Had to have constant contact with me. See all the deliverables prior to anyone else. They’d ponder some of these deliverables for months delaying them. When asked about it to others he’d say I was late. Would tell me who I could or couldn’t talk to. Would tell me things set them off in motion then deny it happened and claimed I made it up when people questioned them. Would undermine my confidence, constance comments and then in front of others say I had poor self confidence.

Tell me to not speak to key staked holders even though I needed them to move forward and then give me silent treatment if I did.

Told the wider team to not speak to me to name a few.

Ended up off over a year as HR forgot about me as they were trying to keep informal

I think you have to think through how convenient your distress was to someone internally, starting with your former manager, HR and everyone above your former manager.

Be angry. Be fucking furious, and then stop and consider that in the middle of this you found the analytical ability and clarity to explain what was happening to you, so that your grievance was upheld. That's not nothing, it's fighting back.

Genuinely, well done. It takes time to recover, but our power will come back to you, because when the chips were down, you protected it.

It’s taken me nearly a year to get over what happened to me in my last job. It was so toxic and I was close to a breakdown and imagined myself committing suicide. It was truly the worst work experience of my life.

I left that job at the end of November last year, a sideways transfer to a completely different dept and far enough away from the original one that I don’t bump into any of them.

I felt like I was poisoned with the trauma of it all and it was all I could think about.

Only now am I starting to come out the other side with the help of antidepressants and an amazing new manager.

I am still in the workplace that tried to force me out when I was new. I survived by proving itself but the experience has left its mark. I am constantly waiting for the next axe to fall. I’d like to read any advice you get OP. Good luck