Junior staff member with Know-it-all-itis — is there any cure?

[TerrorAustralis]

I have a direct report who knows it all. She’s a grad and this is her first role in the industry she claims to want to work in. She reports to me and I will brief her, allocate tasks, check her work and give feedback as and when, plus we have a weekly one-on-one meeting.

Every time I point out something she has missed, that needs to be done or needs to be done differently, her response is along the lines of, ‘Yeah, I know,’ or ‘I’ve already done that.’ This includes times when she clearly didn’t know or clearly hasn’t done the thing I’m talking about.

I don’t think I’m a bad manager and I don’t give feedback in an accusatory or blaming way. I understand she’s new and has a lot to learn. It’s in my best interests for her to do a good job. I want her too succeed, but the know-it-all attitude is wearing me down. It also indicates that she’s not open to feedback if her first response is defensiveness and brushing off what I’m saying.

Any tips for dealing with this kind of attitude? Is it incurable?

Fortunately she’s not permanent, but she will be with us for a few more months.

Rather than telling her things ask her questions and lead her to the answer.

I’m 67. I can remember when I started work my dear old dad telling me not to respond with ‘I know’ every time I was told something. So it’s not a new thing. Taught me a good lesson though. Listen and learn.

Life.

many of us were like this when younger

Maybe I should call her dad 🤔

(Joking of course, I would call her mum.)

I think you should give her the feedback that she doesn't respond well to constructive feedback and it's something she's going to need to learn how to do if she's going to succeed. Try once and if she doesn't listen give up, she's off soon, don't waste too much energy on her. It sounds exhausting.

As a manager, I'd gently point it out to her. Frame it in a way that you want feedback to be constructive so you can move forward together or something positive like that.

Oh God, no, there is no cure for this. I have recently got all the way through to having to dismiss someone and she still knew she was right until she was let go. Doubtless she still believes it.

I’ll try to work on this.

I'd look over my glasses and say 'Did you really/have you really/Can you show me/Can you get me/Take me to it' etc depending on the thing she forgot or hadn't done and see if she had. And if she hadnt' I'd tell her the first rule of not getting the sack is to come clean and just say so because one day it might come back to bite her.

The only cure will be a few sackings from less accommodating future employers.
We have a few of those know it alls at my work. All male.
They really do think they know it all.

Rather than pointing out what she’s missed, ask her “can you see what you’ve missed there?”.

Instead of pointing out what needs to be done next, ask her “tell me what you think needs to be done next?”.

It's the ignorance of youth (or is it the arrogance?) Agree with this, it'll help expose her lack of knowledge but in a more gentle way, and help her to dial down on the know it all attitude.

Thanks for all the responses. A lot of food for thought.

I was going to suggest more of a coaching approach which is effectively what @Chemenger said. It can also help to model the behaviour you want to see. Let her observe how you work something challenging.

We just had to let someone go like this. She responded to constructive feedback by a helpful colleague by saying she “didn’t like their tone” 🙄
There’s no helping some people.

I have a colleague who has done this for her entire working career. I've known her for 20 years and she never grew out of it. It drives me absolutely insane but I've learned to live with it, as I honestly think she doesn't even realise she's doing it. She will literally say "I know" before I've even finished my sentence.

Once, a few years ago, I lost my patience and snapped at her "How can you possibly know? Only I know this piece of information and I haven't told you yet!" and she did stop doing it... for about a week. But in her case I think it's just a verbal tic.

Anyway, I feel your pain. I'm sure your colleague has no idea how annoying it is. If you can find a way to tell her, I would.

Reminds me of my 16 year old son although with him I just say, well actually you didn’t know. Lol.

I think it’s defensiveness born out of self pressure, perfectionism and a touch of insecurity. You’ll just have to find a way of saying

A) you didn’t know or
b) you actually haven’t done it

good luck!

‘If you know why are you still doing it?’ while tilting your head

Does she improve/do things better or follow your instructions after you give her feedback?

Does she know it is okay to make mistakes or could it be out of fear of being in trouble for not knowing everything on day 1?

You need to feedback on how she receives feedback. This is something she needs to learn and your duty to teach especially as she is so new to her career.

To a limited extent. I think she rushes things and doesn’t check her own work. She’s not overloaded, so doesn’t need to rush and could take more time.

Yes, I was very clear to spell this out from day one. It’s a training type position where there’s a very clear expectation that she will learn on the job and develop skills as you go. I have repeatedly told her to ask questions and said I don’t expect her to know it all.

Yes, I definitely need to do this. I just need to plan what to say so I don’t come off as completely exasperated (which I am).

Is she a trainee lawyer and in a 6 month seat in your team? It sounds very familiar… (not your particular example, just the industry).