Returning to work after mental health struggles and a long gap

[CheeseSandwich1]

Looking for someone advice as I know there’s lots of successful women on here.

I’m 28. Left school and went straight into working in retail/pharmacy instead of completing further/higher education (I hated school and just wanted to earn money, although I know regret making that decision).

I left pharmacy just before lockdown and went into a sales which I was hoping would be my ‘career’ but unfortunately I was made redundant due to the company closing mid lockdown.

A couple of months later I found out I was pregnant. My partner and I weren’t living together but I moved in with him around 20 weeks pregnant and he supported us both (for context he is 16 years older than me and runs a successful business).

I had our baby and unfortunately suffered postpartum psychosis and was in hospital for the first 3 months postpartum and was unwell for the first year.

I got a Christmas temp job around a year postpartum and was offered permanent contract on but unfortunately the hours offered didn’t work around my baby (lots of late nights and weekends) so I quit and continued being supported by partner.

When DS was 2.5 I found out I was pregnant, I honestly didn’t know what to do after my previous experience but part of me wanted the opportunity to have a positive postpartum experience as I didn’t the first time.

Unfortunately, I ended up in perinatal psychosis and was hospitalised during pregnancy due to trying to end my life. My partner left as he couldn’t cope with it, social services became involved and DS was placed in care of partner as I was in hospital and baby was also placed in care of partner was they were born.

I’ve done a lot of work over the past 18 months and I have an incredible relationship with DS and DD. We have a co-parenting relationship but I’m traditionally like the ‘Dad’ as I have children 3 days a week and ex partner has them 4. No SS involvement for a year.

I really want to get back into work, but I’m worried:

I haven’t worked full time since the end of 2020. I’ve only had a part time job for 3 months in 22/23. I have done some adhoc sales/admin work for ex partner.

I wouldn’t be eligible for any working parent benefits as ex is resident parent. This would mean I would have to work full time which would cause problems with our co-parenting schedule. I’m also concerned that working full time could trigger my mental health as I am a lot more vulnerable after being really poorly.

WHO is going to want to employ me and WHAT can I do?!

I really want to contribute to society and I want to have enough money to live properly and give my children more when they’re with me.

Have you thought about mental health peer support roles in the NHS?
Also are you getting disability benefits or any benefits like limited capacity for work on UC?

if your on benefits, would you qualify for any training? This is probably the route I would go, a part time college course, ease yourself in. College isn’t like school, especially not for adults.

I’ve suffered psychosis and understand how hard it is to come back from, I recovered after a year and luckily landed a job with progression but private healthcare was really the game changer that came with it, as I get the best mental health support and my psych is the best.

None of this is your fault, and psychosis isn’t an easy thing to come back from.

have you had any official diagnosis, like bipolar? Sadly, the system is poor for mental health (like the rest of the system really!)

If it's 4 days vs 3 would you be able to speak to partner and have it the other way round? More time with kids + the working parent benefits you mentioned?

I think something part time would be great and ideally in a situation where the employer might be more understanding. Perhaps worth looking to see if there are jobs at the local council?

Would working in a school suit you? You could try volunteering at a local primary school (maybe try your child's school). You could offer a couple of mornings per week and potentially build up.
I find that TA job roles in schools are often given to people who are already known to the school.
If a job doesn't become available, then you will still have gained some good skills along the way.

I was asked 5 months what lymphoedema meant to occupational health of a local council. Thought I was mishearing things but nope they’d no idea what it meant. That was a physical swelling of the extremes to the point no nice shoe can be put on so I wish anyone luck with a hidden disability.