Should I take a lower paid remote role for better work life balance?

[FeelingSad4]

Hi folks,

I am spiralling and don't have another adult to talk this through with, so looking for opinions or someone to give my head a wobble.

FT working solo Mum, professional career. Worked in current role for 9 years, 41 days leave (won't increase now), 5% pension contribution. Org. changed significantly and I haven't been happy or fulfilled for while. Difficult manager and our team are often overlooked and forgotton about, so future risk of redundancy as no-one knows what we do and tbh quite bored with day to day work. However, fabulous team and this is highest I have reached in my career (money and status). Remote in office once per month.

Just been offered a new role, fully remote, 3k less p.a., same pension, 38 days leave allowance (but no set days can take whenever i want), step down in status, but more opportunity to get hands dirty and involved.

Things I am stuck on

• less money (should be going up not down)
• status (going down not up, possibly putting pressure on myself as first person in family with professional role)
• less leave (as solo mum)
• frightened to change things up when i'm the sole parent
• leaving wonderful team (especially as org. Is in difficulty already)

However,

• i want to be happy
• want a nice lifestyle (no debts, so wage just needs to pay the bills)
• want to be a present Mum
• worried that i've been in a stagnant role for 9 years that i've lost confidence / knowledge / won't be able to keep up as a lot of my skills were underutilised.

Would it be mad to ask for the full wage which is lower than my current wage, but for slightly less hours so 35 hours rather than 40?

Sorry I feel so out of the game, had a lot of confidence knocks over the years and just scared of making the wrong decision so stuck!

Thank you :)

How many hours pw do you work now. Factor in your commute time you will most likely be better off in new role

Have I read it correctly, you're currently in the office just one DAY per month? If you're unhappy that's a different thing but I can't see how this new role, with 3 days fewer leave, will make any difference to your work life balance?

The advantages seem to be that you hope you would be happier in the new job and you might be able to work 35 hours a week instead of 40. Slight differences in how many days leave you have a year which sound very good either way and in the office one day a month or fully remote seem not to be deciding factors to me. what have you got to lose by asking for 35 hours a week and the full pay? See what they say and then maybe balance up the pros and cons of the different jobs.

3k a year. After tax etc you be losing around 37 quid a week Would you pay 37 quid a week to be happier?

If you move you'll have no employment rights. Eg redunancy pay and unfair dismissal. Also they could change the requirements to attend the office as many companies have done.

I would consider this in your decision making.

sounds like the new role would be better for you at this stage in your and your children’s lives and make your life easier. That’s worth the salary drop to me. Also work out the cost of your commute - this may well be more than the salary drop? My gut feeling would be to go for the new role I think and have a better balance in your life, and it sounds like a more fulfilling role too?

Have you explored progression with the new company as in, are there opportunities to progress and increase role/ salary over time?

As a fellow full time working solo mum I left my 30 year career after health issues/burnout to work for myself full time remote and the difference has been unbelievable. I earn a little less but i have a life! Previously I was out the house 11 hours a day..now I close my laptop at 5pm, sometimes earlier and my evenings are free. Mine are teens but don't underestimate how much teens need you around, more than younger children I'd say. They are making huge decisions about their futures and needs lots of guidance and reassurance and you can't give that if you're not there.
I'm in my 50's now though and have zero interest in career progression. I just want a decent work/life balance.

Thank you everyone, hopedully answering questions posed.

I currently work 40 hours pw, so would be the same hours (unless I can negotiate).

My 1 day per month in the office is a 16 hour round trip due to location (4 hours each way), appreciate i am very lucky to only be in for the one day.

The company is fully remote, with no offices in the UK or Europe.

Progression wise - it feels the same as my role now, opportunity to move up only arises if someone leaves. However, I think I am fine with that. I don't want to move into management as I feel like I would lose a lot of the interactive / getting hands dirty side of the job i love. And I think that is where I am stuck, as I am putting pressure on myself to go higher, but really it will change what I love to do. I just feel conflicted as I feel I should be flying the flag and climbing / showing that I can do xyz, but I don't think I want it....or at least not in the curent stage of my life.

The £37pw is eye opening, thank you! My happiness is definitely more important. I burnt out about 2 years ago and never really recovered or felt myself since.

The lack of safety net definitely worries me, and the threat of redundancies in my current role worries me too. Just a bag of nerves at the moment, which might be why I am speaking out loud and not trusting my gut!

Thank you for your replies :) I asked my child job a or job b, and was asked why can't we have biscuits for breakfast like the cat does 🤣 definitely more helpful responses on here x

Also i have just realised that my thread title has been changed which might be causing confusion around remote working! I put 'help what choice', appreciate it isn't very catchy, but just seen the new title!

Yes think carefully. A lot of companies are wanting more people back in the office now.

I have comfirmed this with them, they want skills across the UK and Europe, so have never had or have offices :)

I thought the law had changed very recently and people now have employment rights from day one?

Pay for some income protection then take the role that makes you happier. Out you first.

For the sake of £3k, I would take the cut. Dh did similar to work closer to home and ended up being £50 a month better off due to reduced commute. Working from home with teens has been fantastic for us. We are there for them when they get in from school but they’re able to understand when we’re working. Sometimes they bring me a cup of tea 🥰
i work from home 2-3 days but dh is in the office once a month. It’s much easier to get the work life balance. Being able to shove a wash on in my lunch break means I can hang it up straight after work.
my work can be annoying but the flexibility keeps me there. I know mnetters often don’t understand wfh but I get lots done (outcomes prove that) so it’s still stressful but minus the commute.

£3k less salary and three days fewer leave dont seem massive sacrifices to me. You've not said about pension or other terms & conditions. As per PPs, what are the progression possibilities in the new company.?

I wouldn't think of this as a downgrade, more of a sideways move for better work/life balance whilst your child is (by the sound of it) quite young. You're just biding time to relaunch when the time is right.

Thanks all, the pension in the new place is actually higher by 5% employer contributions.

I sat down last night and wrote out my pros and cons list, and I do think the issue I am having is the internal conflict of being happy staying at the level of the new job for a while versus the expectation that I should be climbing the ladder, doing more, and bringing more money in. I think as the first person in the family to go to university, the first female to have a professional career, and being a solo parent I feel I need to moving up and feel guilty for not wanting that. A few years ago, I would have wanted more. Not now, and I just want to be happy. At the end of the day, no-one knows how much I earn anyway so why am I wobbling so much! 🤣

Thanks everyone, just wanted to talk 'out loud' :)