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How do I stop overthinking at work with a new manager?

2 replies

Gardenflowering · 16/05/2026 07:24

Love my job, I’m not great at it, I have huge imposter syndrome unfortunately that I try to manage as best I can.

New manager who is really lovely, very corporate, different from my previous manager, less personable and doesn’t give very much away.
1:1 meetings 30 minutes weekly are a discussion about pressing issues, updates to projects generally last around 10-15 minutes. Nothing fluffy just business.
it’s clear there are checking procedures & reporting conversations going on in the background. Positive & negative no doubt.
I do feel under the microscope, watched, observed and judged. It’s uncomfortable as I believe that his idea of my job role does not match my idea. It’s kind of unique & I know he has never managed my role before, in fact he has never managed anyone before.

Friday afternoon a meeting for Monday morning put into the diary by our big boss for the whole department asking us to make it priority..Usually this kind of request means there’s an announcement of some description. All weekend I am going to be nervous.

Up & down! I’m the main wage earner and take great pride in my work, massive people pleaser with anxious thoughts around doing the best I can so I am affected by the roller coaster hugely.

How can I bloody sort it out? I get on my own nerves with this. I want to give zero fucks.
Top tips please and know no words of wisdom if you understand where I’m coming from and have found a method that has helped you.

3 years in role, zero HR involvement ever, nothing negative in any 1:1 meetings, all good. COMPLETELY new role and brand new industry to me so not my comfort zone as I learn every day as background.

OP posts:
CaptainCalm · 16/05/2026 15:29

Well there isn’t anything you can do about the announcement so you’re just going to have to wait and see on that one.

Regarding your boss I would try to communicate in a way that suits him, so don’t attempt the soft stuff but go in armed with facts and data. You could offer to send data over in advance perhaps, and then discuss in the meeting. You could ask him what goals he thinks would be useful for you, which would give you an idea of what he’s driving towards. You could ask for feedback from him.

If he’s a stickler for process and rules that works in your favour as you know what you need to do.

I would generally give him what he’s looking for and keep your head down. Hopefully once he settles in and understands your role more it’ll become more steady and your relationship will develop.

Gardenflowering · 16/05/2026 18:35

CaptainCalm · 16/05/2026 15:29

Well there isn’t anything you can do about the announcement so you’re just going to have to wait and see on that one.

Regarding your boss I would try to communicate in a way that suits him, so don’t attempt the soft stuff but go in armed with facts and data. You could offer to send data over in advance perhaps, and then discuss in the meeting. You could ask him what goals he thinks would be useful for you, which would give you an idea of what he’s driving towards. You could ask for feedback from him.

If he’s a stickler for process and rules that works in your favour as you know what you need to do.

I would generally give him what he’s looking for and keep your head down. Hopefully once he settles in and understands your role more it’ll become more steady and your relationship will develop.

Lovely advice, thank you.

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