Single mum facing redundancy and possible move to Scotland. Practical advice needed

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I’m posting anonymously because this all still feels quite raw and I’m trying to think clearly. I'm hoping others may have had similar experiences and can help.

I’m a single mum to a primary school-aged child (9) and work as a Senior Lecturer in a popular degree at a university in England. I relocated for this role a 6 years ago, bought a house here, built a life here and genuinely thought I’d found some stability after a very difficult few years personally and professionally. I worked hard to finish my PhD and committed to a small institution whose values I really loved, particularly their widening participation values.

Unfortunately, the university is now restructuring due to financial issues and our very small department is losing a member of staff. There are essentially two of us in the selection pool and it’s become increasingly clear that I will likely be the one taking the voluntary redundancy package. I’ve spoken with HR and there’s no enhancement available beyond the standard package (roughly £8.5k redundancy plus holiday pay), despite me previously being denied a much more generous voluntary severance scheme less than a year ago because my “skills and expertise couldn’t be covered.”

Emotionally I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. I’m disabled, the only adult in my household, have a mortgage, a child, a dog, and no real financial safety net beyond some small savings (less than 1k) and freelance work I do alongside academia (small hustle to clear debt and because after tax and student finance and in the current cost of living crisis I was struggling to afrord the bills).

The thing is, I also don’t think staying long-term is the right answer either. The department feels unstable and I suspect if I stayed I’d be left carrying an enormous workload with more uncertainty down the line anyway.

I’ve started applying elsewhere and there are very few suitable roles locally, so I’m now seriously considering Scotland. I’ve identified a couple of opportunities but the job market is so vauge currently as all universities are struggling. The wages from the two I've explored are much better than my current wages. My new boyfriend (who has been my friend for years but we have been dating for around a year) lives in Scotland but not near the opportunities I've described and its a relatively new relationship, not one I feel I can readily depend on.

But I’m terrified too. I’d potentially be moving 300 miles away with a child. I worry about losing the little support system I currently have, uprooting my son, and making the wrong decision. I’m also scared about the practicalities if I don’t secure another role quickly enough especially in the current job market.

The other candidate who is up for potential redundancy moved back to this city and is local. I do not think they will take the vls. They have much more of a life here than me. There are currently no opportunities within 50 miles of my current location so relocation seems essential. I'm gutted at the thought of selling my first home (its just a small 2 bed but it means something) so I've been looking at consent to let if relocation is necessary.

I suppose I’m looking for:
practical advice from anyone who has rebuilt after redundancy, experiences of moving somewhere completely new as a single parent, thoughts on Dundee/Paisley areas
reassurance that I’m not completely insane for considering this, and maybe just perspective from people outside my own head right now.

At the moment I feel like my whole life has been flipped upside down in the space of a week.

What happens if nobody takes the voluntary redundancy?

Dundee is nice though. There are rough areas but the centre is fine and there are plenty of affordable places to live that aren't bad.

My youngest was a similar age when I moved to where I am now. He made friends and worked out the school system without too much bother.

If neither of us take the package it seems the institution will decide on our behalf. I'm a little more costly to employ than the other. If we don't take the voluntary scheme too the one who leaves will be left with the statutory redundancy only which for me would be about half of the current offer.

Thanks for the reassurance. Scotland has always been a dream for me and I'm trying to see it as a positive but my little one is sensitive to change. My ex (not his dad but the only father figure he knows) also sees him once a week here and that wouldn't be feasible if we move 300 miles away. I was hoping he'd be a little older and perhaps a little more resilient before I had to make this move.

You could do a lot worse than Scotland! We have a lot of free services such as free prescription charges and access to free tuition fees and buying a house should be cheaper and you’d meet new friends. When I moved South of the border people came and saw me more than now when I’m back up here (ie people made more of an effort). It’s a good quality of life up here. Best to move when child is younger than say year 4/5.

Thank you. I'm trying to see this as a positive. Scotland has always been a dream and at the moment its where some more of the jobs are in my field. Tuition fees for little one when he's older are a big thing too, thanks for highlighting that one (don't want him in the same position as me which is 100s of thousands of student debt). Meeting new friends wasnt easy when I moved to the current location for work but I was tucked away a lot trying to work and finish my education so our settling in didn't fully take off. I guess I'm just scared because its a lot of unknowns and I've always been so careful about uprooting the little one.

I’m not far from Dundee and if you did go there there’s good transport links and roads so you wouldn’t even have to live in Dundee (although I do love the city). Some of the nearby Angus towns could be a lot cheaper to stay in though.

I don’t know if it would be Dundee or Abertay you’d be at but I know there were some financial issues with Dundee Uni recently so just worth double checking it would be safe to move up for that too.

And if you do come up this way there is a local group called Women in Angus where you’d probably be able to connect with other locals depending on your interests or whatever if you wanted some other mum/women friends around here. 🥰

Apply for the roles you’ve got nothing to lose doing so. Scotland is great, commit to integrating and your life will be better I am sure of it. Dundee is quite nice and central so in easy reach of everywhere else.

Couple of issues:

1. Will your DS's dad try to object to the move or even say he should be primary carer? Is he aware of the developments? Would he be more likely to say yes to the move if he knew it was non voluntary redundancy or accepted that there is an overwhelming prospect of your being chosen and losing a lot of money by not accepting the voluntary payment?
2. Would your DS want to stay with his dad because he fears change?
3. Have you tried recruiters or had advice on career change options to see if you could stay in the area but with a different job? Not ideal but you have support locally.
4. Is it sensible to rent the house out if the prospects of your returning to the house and your current area are very low because your work expertise is specialist and so you won't get another job in the area? Just fear potential tenant issues and management issues if you are miles away in Scotland - so modest rent that will be taxable and little profit once you have complied with all the rules.
5. Do you need to get the house on the market now to test out if a sale is feasible as what are the timescales for a move?

If you are able to go for the move to Scotland, I would be tempted to do so as I fear the current job market in the uni sector is going to get a lot worse and if you are not selected for vol redundancy your job still won't be secure and you will feel vulnerable to losing the job in the next round of cuts.

Forgot to add, from my view, if you are going to move your son is at a good age to do so as he can meet new friends at a Scottish primary and then move up to secondary - far less overwhelming than a move at 11 when he is having to cope with fears of moving from primary to secondary and he isn't in stroppy teenage years and refusing to move.

If it’s Dundee university I’d be very cautious moving for a job there, they’ve been in a lot of financial difficulty. In fact a lot of the Higher education sector is in difficulty.

I know you mentioned the salary offered is higher but just remember you’ll pay higher tax (to fund the free prescriptions, university fees etc) You’ll probably still be better off but make sure you run your figures through a tax calculator to give you a more accurate idea of your actual take home.

I don't have any advice regarding moving etc however I am from Paisley. Is it UWS? Paisley itself isn't the nicest town, it has many beautiful buildings etc but a lot of it is quite run down. However there are lots of lovely surrounding villages. If you decide to go in that direction then feel free to PM you and I can give you some advice on where would be a nice place to live!

Oh and also the Scottish and English education systems are quite different. Depending on when your child's birthday is they may need to move school years. School returns here mid August so I would be trying to move before then if you take the leap.

The Dundee area is a great place to live. It rains way more in the west!

Renting out your house is a very bad idea for someone who is financially precarious. You need at least 6 months worth of rental income available as a “float” to cover maintenance and lost rent in a worst case scenario. You will be taxed at your marginal rate and pay at least 10% management fees (self managing at a distance is not realistic). Renters Rights Act provisions mean it will not be easy for you to move back into your house.

In your situation I’d be getting some proper career advice to establish whether your skills and knowledge could be transferred to a different area, or look into teaching in a school.

If you work full time remember you'll pay more tax in Scotland so your take-home will be less. Those free things turn out to cost quite a bit more than working people in England pay. Council tax also higher as is lbtt (our version of sdlt) and it can be very hard to find a place to rent because of housing rules.

I like Scotland but the move won't be cheap and if you're not Scottish it can take a while to fit in.

Oh yeah and if you rent your old place you'll pay Scottish tax on that too.

Agree with all this. And factor in the agency taking their fee (unless you want to be making 600 miles round trips to sort out issues that can’t be done remotely).

Ate you confident your house would sell at the price you need it to?

For advice on roles in HEIs it might be worth posting in this board too: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/academics_corner
Scottish HEIs are in just as much financial trouble as English unis, all apart from St Andrew's are shrinking staff. Is your field quite niche as well as popular? There will be plenty of competition for roles in Scotland too.

Thank you. The knowledge of these areas is so important. I don't drive (health grounds) so understanding the public transport links and if they're good is super important too.

Thanks for the mum friend offer too. Many of my friends in my current friendship group havent had kids. I met them through uni and so they are spread around the UK. I never fully integrated into this area that I moved to 6 years ago. Its small and beautiful but having my head down finishing my education, and having lots of health problems and operations to contend with too slowed my ability to integrate. I was hoping DS would make solid friendships at school and I could make friends with the mums of those friends but bless him he's so wonderfully eccentric for his age that this hasn't really happened (think bow tie wearing and wellies and much prefers time outside in nature with the birds).

I've not had mum friends. Would be a dream to move and establish a friendship group and get support and give it in return of course. DS hasnt even had a sleepover or anything and I'd love to be able to provide those kinds of opportunities for him.

Thanks! These are honestly such helpful and practical thoughts.

1/2. DS's dad is not his biological dad. His biological father has parental rights because he is on the birth certificate. We have not seen biological dad since DS was 3 months old. There were a lot of problems including DV, alcohol and others.. I tried to do supervised contact etc and had support from ss and family support. He moved (last I know is somewhere near Wales). I doubt he knows I moved to where I am now 6 years ago. It is a fear that he would return and expertise parental rights but I'm hoping that having been gone for 9 years and never having provided any support financial or otherwise he may have little say.

The man DS calls dad is my ex partner who has supported me in raising him. Our relationship ended and he stayed living with me for a while. He now his own place (locally) but sees DS once a week and provides ad hoc child support him and the dog. For example I was in London last week for work and he came and stayed with them. Legally he has no PR which frustrates us both and something I need to change if possible given my health scares in recent years. He's actually been so supportive through this and knows I need to follow the work. DS adores him, but I wouldn't leave him with him and move.

Yes then the new partner fits into this whole mess somewhere. Messy in love always!

1. I've looked locally but I'm a little stuck. I took a PhD rather than applied route so this limits options in my field. Retraining would cost a fortune at this point. I have been looking at civil service roles, research roles etc but theyre very thin on the ground. Some roles would mean a substantial pay cut and I've been struggling to stay afloat on my current wages. I will try to obtain some careers advice though for ways to adapt.

1. Thinking of consent to let rather than long term strategy. Just for 1 - 2 years to see how it goes. Ex who is local has offered to support with the management side of things. I pay £840 on the mortgage currently and profits would be so small. Its more not wanting to sell immediately and rip it from under us and deal with everything all at once.

1. Exactly this the timing is driving me nuts. I'd need to secure a job before a sale but the thought of selling and getting everything aligned is bonkers.

Couldn't agree more. As much as I love where I am scotland has always been the dream and it feels like now is the time. If I stay the workload next year would be insane because of course the two people they've put in the firing line are the two who deliver an insane amount of teaching but are considered the two more junior on the team. The new management structure have protected themselves and the two more senior members of staff, despite being higher paid and do less teaching, have also been protected in this round.

Thanks! I hadn't even thought of it this way! I was so focused on only making moves around transition points for him (I moved here as he was about to start school). This is a much better way to think about it.

Thanks. Its not Dundee as I've heard the rumours there too. All of HE is suffering so there will be so much competition for every role. I've tried the tax calculator since you suggedted it and still a lot better off than I am currently (my current uni pays a ludicrously low salary for my role). Thanks for highlighting this it's given more grounding which I definitely needed and wouldn't have thought to check this.

I wouldn’t consider moving your DS away from your ex as he seems to have a strong relationship with him.

I’m not too far from Paisley, there are some nice restaurants, museum opening again soon etc, not far to Glasgow. I’ve been happy with the schools for my kids (youngest just leaving). I’ve not had to relocate but I’ve been made redundant a few times and it’s not easy but I’m sure things will work out for you ok

Thats one of my current options. Thanks so much paisley looks pretty online but google lies so any recommendations would be super appreciated! Local knowledge is key! I grew up in a rough city and in some bad areas (originally council estates) but its not the environment I want to be raising DS in if I can avoid it. Working so hard to make sure I give him stability and good areas are very much a part of that (or as good as I can afford at least).

What’s your budget for property, OP?

there are so many nice areas in Scotland which are commutable to either- but the cost of property will be your biggest living expense.