Not shortlisted for promotion after years of experience at work

[Emergencycake]

I have over 20 years experience of the same reasonably professional role. I was at the same company for many years and didn’t really have any opportunities to progress, but it worked as it was part time and my kids were young. They are getting older, as am I, and in the last 4 years, I spread my wings and have been to 2 different companies and got loads more experience of different places (in a similar level role).

When I joined my current team about 18months ago, they were full of talk about progression, and opportunities to step up. Recently such a role came up, and I applied after being encouraged to do so. 4 others in the department also did this - some have similar experience, some are quite a bit younger. I found out that I did not even get through to interview, and am gutted. I tried really hard on my application and took some advice, spending probably 6 evenings trying to perfect my answers.

I discovered that I am the only person on the team not to get an interview. I am soo embarrassed. I understood that I may not get the role, but not to meet interview criteria when I’ve been doing this work for as long as I have has knocked me for six.

My head is telling me to find peace that I may never rise above entry level level. I have really struggled this week to be ok in work. I’ve had to take myself off for a walk to avoid bursting into tears. How do you make peace with your lot?

Sorry to hear OP, how upsetting. I was in a similar situation last year. In my case I did get an interview, but didn't get the role and the feedback was that I was "disappointing and not good at all". Like you, I didn't expect to be handed the role, but thought I would have a chance the same as anyone else. I even heard they were talking about me in the managers meeting later, the interviewer telling the other managers how terrible I was!

The correct response would be for me to tell you that it shouldn't put you off, try again, move to a different company, and probably that's true. To be honest in my case I gave up. If 18 years of experience isn't enough, what else can I do. I won't go for another position. The good part of that I no longer need to work hard, I do the work but no extra. If I want to call in sick, I do. If I come late, well so be it. And I won't waste time on further applications.

Also it depends on the industry, but I've realised that it's really hard to break out of entry level at our age. The sweet spot for promotions in my job is after about 7-10 years. You've gained experience but are still young and fresh. Between 10 and 20 years, your experience grows but not as much, your education is now getting out of date, and young people are coming up all the time. A 30 year old with potential is always going to be chosen over a 45 year old with a stale resume.

Thanks @FruitFlyPie what you said makes a lot of sense. I guess I’ve been kidding myself in the last few years, moving to 2 more companies that I’ve still got it! My profession is extremely competitive, and even after beating a lot of people to get it, they told me at my 6 month review that they don’t usually hire people my age, but needed someone to hit the ground running. Then 6 months later, hired someone after me from the reserve list who I beat to the role initially. They are around 15 years younger than me who they said needed training, but has made the interview. They could be my new boss.

I appreciate they maybe good, but it does make me feel like crap.

I heed your point though. I need to spin this on its head. Relax and not let the politics get me down. Clock out a bit and finish on time, take up a hobby, that sort of thing.

Also, apologies @FruitFlyPie what happened to you was awful. They should never have done that. I hope that you made a point of letting them know that you had heard about what was said and how that had impacted on you. It sounds highly unprofessional and to call it out for what it is, bullying. I’m sorry you had to go through this.

@EmergencycakeHave you asked for feedback as to why you didn’t get to interview?

@Daffydoll yes I have. They are putting a response together for me.

I think you need to figure out why you were encouraged to apply in the first place. Is it because it's normal at that company or did your LM see something in you? If so what was it, and how should that have been communicated in your application? I would book a meeting with whoever encouraged you to apply and ask them to spit it out. There's no point beating around the bush with stuff like this - you need to get over the feelings and figure out what went wrong, what do I need to change for next time. Then depending on what they say your next consideration is do you stay and try again next time, or should you be looking elsewhere?

Having reread your op you might also be too good to promote. You said they needed someone to hit the ground running. Are you the safe pair of hands that keeps everything running smoothly?

Do companies strategically do this @StrictlyAFemaleFemale? That feels like entrapment. Now you say it, I’ve been referred to as ‘an old pair of hands’ in my role where I’d been for many, many years

I agree with the above poster. I've had similar bullshit in my work and did eventually get promoted but won't bother applying again for another promotion.

The upside is that I do my hours to the second no more no less and don't go above and beyond any more.

I feel less of a mug for doing so.

I would ask for clear feedback as to why you were the only one not offered an interview.

I would assume though that there is some kind of discrimination happening (age, the fact that you have kids) and that they have decided they want to keep you in your role but are taking you for granted and are never planning to help you progress.

Unfortunately often to progress you have to move on to a new job and employer.

Having a more senior job does generally involve different skills to the lower level job. What did you put in your application? Simply being very experienced in your current role will not have been enough if they were looking for different skills/mindsets.

I would definitely ask for feedback about how you could have improved your application and then ask for opportunities to gain any missing skills.

@redskyAtNigh there is a chance you may be on to something. I guess I feel let down as I was nervous to apply, but asked the HOD of if I was a credible candidate, thinking I wouldn’t apply if I didn’t stand a chance, and they were really positive about me. This gave me confidence that I might just be good enough, but clear to me now this is not the case, and my whole team knows this now too 😞

I applied for a role with my then employer and wasn’t shortlisted. After about six months the person who got the job was making a total hash of things and senior people were complaining. I was asked to go in and work alongside her in an attempt to turn things around. I politely declined while wanting to tell them to fuck off.

Good for you @AppleDumplingWithCustard!

Thank you to all the responders on here - I feel really seen and understood, which is far more than I’ve had all week from colleagues

@Emergencycake once you have your reply you will know how to approach it. Do you know when you will get this?

Within the next week apparently @Daffydoll

Time to look for a new job elsewhere

I agree with @Daffydollyou need that feedback before you start making a plan.
Also the mindset point, you have to approach an application from the point of view of already being in that role rather than your current role (Which you might have already done?). Are there particular projects where you have shown those skills recently, or made a big change/impact (And is that something that your colleagues have done?) Do you take part in CPD opportunities? Executive Education? Is there anyway you could upskill, Degree apprenticeship Etc?

I think to leave you as the only person not invited to interview is discriminatory in itself. I’m sorry, I think time to move!

It’s your age.

I was told, very bluntly once that my CV was too long.

Oh wow! Well, I wouldn’t be going out of my way for anyone going forward. You’ve likely done nothing wrong and they’re relying on you to train your new manager. Do not do this! Be polite, but bat back any requests. And start looking elsewhere for a role you’ll be valued in.

Given the initial positive comments I think you probably are good enough.

What you might not be good enough at is writing applications. Or they might truly have it in for you.

I’ve definitely had to decline candidates for promotion who I think are good enough but just couldn’t demonstrate it through interview or paperwork responses. It’s frustrating but we have to follow those processes to stop favouritism.

I’d wait and see what the feedback says and then have a very frank conversation with your line manager about what you understood the progression opportunities to be, whether this is still true and what do you need to do to be considered more seriously.

If you’re not happy with that conversation then I’d be looking somewhere else.

Is the promotion going to involve managing other people? If you've had no experience doing this and some of the others have that may be what gave them the edge.

Do you feel like you'd make a good manager?

I am awful at people management and that was probably the main thing that stopped my progression. Obviously this might not be you but in nearly all careers it's do the thing, then do it well, then supervise, then manage a team of others to do it.

@FruitFlyPiethat feedback was awful and very unprofessional. I’m sorry you went through that.

Your comments about having missed the sweet spot for progression are disheartening although I suspect they are probably true.

Can I ask what industry you are in? I am mid 40s and having career changed in my 30s then had kids, I am now qualified in my industry but still entry level with much younger grads. I worry very much about this being the case for me.

I hope it’s not, as progression / promotion is dependant on meeting your targets and loads of people get promoted at once, so im not in direct competition with the younger colleagues.

The difficulty though, is that I am part-time, and have young kids, so am not available as time for networking and events etc.