Should I move jobs? Divided loyalties... please help!

[tryingnottoobsess]

Ok, so I've been trying to conceive DC1 for just over a year, and that is my number 1 priority in life right now.... I have had 3 miscarriages in that time and just been referred to a specialist for investigations...

So how is that related to employment issues? well, I've been in my current job for 5.5 yrs, and it is DULL. It is easy and well paid, and my boss is amazing, but I am TOTALLY unchallenged, and there is no room to move within the small company. It is secondary to the trying to concieve, but obviously still an important part of my day to day life.

I have applied to an incredibly interesting sounding job within walking distance of my home (a major rarity, I'm in the sticks), and just been asked for interview. I don't know whether to go because:

1. I feel like I'll be letting down my current boss (the company owner), who has been brilliant to me through my 3 miscarriages.

2. The new job pays a LOT less than I'm on now

3. Can I really interview at the new place knowing that I'm ttc? I'm 33 by the way, so I have a bit of time, but not really enough time to stop ttc whilst changing jobs, particularly with my history of recurrent miscarriage...

This is confusing... am I being selfish/unrealistic even thinking about fulfilment at work right now? (bearing in mind that at my current pace, I could be here for years if I wait for motherhood?!)

Please tell me what you would do....!!

PS I know I might not get the job even if I interview, but I'd like the advice anyway!

For what it's worth, I think I would stay put. New challenges = stress to a greater or lesser degree, and stress is really what you don't need when ttc. I was 3 years ttc whilst doing a job that I enjoyed but was stressful, required me to work long hours, and caused tension between me and dh. During that time, I had an early mc, days after dealing with a particularly difficult situation. I was pg again within 6 weeks of handing over to someone else (I was 37 at the time).

Also, your current employer is clearly supportive of you ttc, and presumably show the same level of support when you do get pg. A new employer is likely to be less understanding, which in itself could be stressful, and again potentially damaging to you.

If as you say, ttc is your number 1 priority, then consider as objectively as you can what is going to be the most helpful to you in getting there, and trying to ensure that disaster doesn't strike again. Can you find any projects outside of work that would provide you with the challenge that you want, or is the need for a challenge career linked? How important is progressing your career to you, and what sacrifices are you prepared to make for it? Those are questions that only you can answer, but anyway, hth. Hope you find a solution to your situation.

i'd do the opposite.
go for the interview anyway, but be v wary - i tried the closer to home but less money route (job not as challenging though) and went back after 3 months.
if you go for the interview, no harm done.

If it was me I would stay with current employer but to challenge myself I would undertake a course or 2 to keep me stimulated IYKWIM!

Good luck

oh yes I'd still go for the interview, keep your options open until you have to decide!

Thanks guys, especially for the idea of challenges outside work to make me feel like I'm 'progressing' in some way.

Romy & Roskva - interesting to hear your personal experiences with this kind of dilemma.