I hate being a working mum, rant, sorry.

[lucy5]

The title says it all really. After being lucky enough to have 4 years as a sahm, I am now in the position where I have had to go back to work. I have been doing it for 3 months and I hate it. I'm tired, grumpy and constantly guilty. I come home from work having taught other peoples children all day, too tired to do fun things with my dd. I have to push myself as I constantly feel guilty. I also hate getting caught in the crossfire of politics at school. I dont care what the majority of these childless 20 somethings think. I want to do my job well and go home, not spend endless hours debating the colour of pen to use when marking as it might disturb a child. It my be disturbing to my own dd that its nearly 6 and im still not home. Decide on the bloody colour and tell me. Im sorry to rant but i really needed to get this off my chest. I havent really told dh the extent of my feelings as I dont want to put any added pressure on him. He really wants to work and is finding it hard to be a stay at home dad. We are in a new country, so this is the way it is until we sort ourselves out, so I know its not forever, but i just cant stand the guilt. By the way I have nothing against 20 somethings or childless people, its just this particular bunch of gits. Sorry for the rant , I must admit its quite therapeutic.

Thanks all, I felt pretty low last night, so I have developed a sore throat and it might continue tommorrow, I havent decided yet. I have had a really good chat with dh and a huge blub. That always makes me feel better, the issue hasnt been resolved but I dont feel as if im carrying the whole burden.

Wild There are one or two people (without kids) who feel like me but sometimes this doesnt help as it just makes me feel more depressed because it seems to be all we ever talk about.

Reindeer, in my school the tas are left out of everything and are treated by management as second class citizens, I know this is not the case everywhere, I think you'll enjoy it.

Iota, im going to take your advice,and see how far i can push getting away with not doing things. Thank you all.

oops, sallie I know how you feel especially when you hear people moaning. I know staying at home is hard and it brings its own worries, I did it for 4 years but at least they were my worries not some piffling thing about who plays with the footballs on which days.

lucy do you need to endure the displaydiscussions?
whs I went back to teaching after havoing kids I was just really brutal with my time and did everything Half as well as I used to adn - do oyu know what - no one noticed or cared.!!

you do soun d tired though and I knwo where youare coming from, bet bloke teachers wodulnt be criticised for ebing ruthless with their time

Low cal, my sore throat is going to get worse, ive already decided and then on Monday, im putting my foot down. I have had enough of wasting my precious time. All the male teachers are about 12 or vicious career minded freaks at my school. Not that im bitter or anything, hahaha.

yes tellt hem you are leaving at 4 ad getting there at 8 30

And not doing any bloody marking, school plays, fairs, reports, timetabling, fund raising events, meeting parents, parents evenings oh god i could go on and on. I better just start with meetings.

Lucy - re the meetings - I didn't used to miss the whole meeting, I'd say at the start that I had to go in one hour or 30 mins or whatever and say if there's anything you need me for can we discuss this first? Then when it got to the appropriate moment I would say ' sorry I have to go now' and get up and leave.

Of course, if you don't see the point of going to a particular meeting in the first place, excuse yourself beforehand and don't turn up.

Good luck - hope you can find the right balance - life's too short to discuss the size of a tick box

lucy I do two voluntary jobs
IN other situations I just say " not thank you I do xyz already"
why dont you restrict your activiteis to say pta liason and thats it

Tanks iota you are so right. Im being very bolshy on here but i will go and lay down some ground rules.

lowcal im going to get it sorted. Ive been roped into everything because the fear of god has been put into us over the security of our jobs. I work for a private school outside of uk and the owner is a bit of a local don. mmm sounds lovely I know.

Sallie I too am nearing the end of a three month trial of 4 day week! Are you going to ask to continue or is it not an option? I'm working up my nerve to ask after I have my first big project due, then I should be able to discuss output a bit better. I don't know how I'd be able to do 5 days. I initially asked for just three months to get ds into the creche and he likes it fine now, but I love that Friday at home and don't want it to end! Not that I'm being terribly productive today

go lucy!
wil he really sack you? and if so maybe a blessing in disguise

yes he probably would. Hes already changed the contracts once and the admin staff suffered because of this, he told them to sue him and they'd end up unemployed anyway. Just got to hold on until dh gets a job, waiting to hear from one so have got everything crossed. Its unbelievable to think I used to be a member of union in UK. Anyway will keep you posted.

L do update us when you stand firm

well ive done it, i told them I am only going to meetings which are relevant to me. My boss was so shocked that he agreed. Cant believe it.

well done

skerriesmum - yes, really want to continue with 4 days. I have Wednesdays off which works really nicely. After ds I worked full time which was pretty tough. Don't know how I would do it now I have dd too.....Its not really a question of me asking to continue really, its up to my employer to decide whether they want me to continue with 4 days.....