Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Should I be concerned? I feel like I’m being singled out.

11 replies

MosaDiCello369 · Yesterday 02:38

I work part-time as a therapist in a small aesthetic clinic there are four of us in total. I’m in my 40s, and the other three are in their late twenties. I’m also the only one with a young child (my son is two and in nursery).
Like a lot of parents, I do pick up the occasional bugs from nursery, and over the past six months I’ve had things like conjunctivitis, norovirus and COVID.
Last week I had a dry, tickly cough, so I chose to wear a mask while treating clients purely out of consideration, as I work very close to people’s faces. I didn’t feel unwell at the time and assumed it was due to the dry heat in the clinic.
A few days later, I did start to feel properly unwell (aches, fatigue, congestion), but I wasn’t due back at work for four days, so I rested and recovered.
When I returned, one colleague asked if I’d been ill because she now felt unwell. This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked this even when I haven’t been sick, there’s sometimes an assumption that I’ve brought something in, likely because I have a toddler.
I completely understand that bugs go around, especially in workplaces, but I can’t help feeling a bit singled out at times. Has anyone else experienced this as a parent in the workplace?

OP posts:
pinkdelight · Yesterday 02:52

Tbf you had brought something in. You had a cough (not because of the heat that makes no sense) and then got properly unwell. So her assumption wasn’t unfounded. Doesn’t mean it’s your fault but it’s not singling you out when it’s true, and the heat comment makes it seem like you don’t register when you’re ill and stay home rather than taking it into work.

SD1978 · Yesterday 03:29

In six months you’ve had multiple infective diseases- understandable with a toddler in nursery, but it’s not unreasonable to assume you are the main bringer of virus to the workplace, and you did bring in the latest one most likely?

MosaDiCello369 · Yesterday 06:59

pinkdelight · Yesterday 02:52

Tbf you had brought something in. You had a cough (not because of the heat that makes no sense) and then got properly unwell. So her assumption wasn’t unfounded. Doesn’t mean it’s your fault but it’s not singling you out when it’s true, and the heat comment makes it seem like you don’t register when you’re ill and stay home rather than taking it into work.

I don’t agree with you on not recognising when I’m ill I’m more than aware of the signs. As for the heat comment maybe I should give context the heat comes from an AC system which you can set to hot or cold, when set to hot it blows out hot air, this can make my throat dry and I only started coughing when I got to work hence why I thought it was the heater. Also me and my colleague fell unwell around the same time she said Thursday she felt aching which was around the same time I felt muscle aches. We have over 100 people coming into our clinic each day treating in close proximity.

OP posts:
MosaDiCello369 · Yesterday 07:03

SD1978 · Yesterday 03:29

In six months you’ve had multiple infective diseases- understandable with a toddler in nursery, but it’s not unreasonable to assume you are the main bringer of virus to the workplace, and you did bring in the latest one most likely?

We do treat over a 100 people between us a day mainly women who also have toddlers and children, can you see how it’s a little unfair to assume only me. Those times I was unwell I stayed home, with the viral conjunctivitis I stayed home for 10 days.

OP posts:
Pugglywuggly · Yesterday 07:05

You don't know that she singled you out. She may have asked the others, or not needed to as they were at work and fine. You came in with a mask on and a cough. Then you weren't in (and actually were really sick). She was bang on the money.

Owly11 · Yesterday 07:09

So the colleague who asked you if you had been unwell was also in work and feeling unwell? Either she is being a massive hypocrite if she's trying to accuse you of coming into work unwell when that's exactly what she is doing or you are overthinking it. I suspect the latter unless there is more info you haven't shared in the op.

Sugarsugarcane · Yesterday 07:15

Is there a chance you are projecting here? As in you know that it’s tricky for you right now trying to work whilst your toddler (like all toddlers!) is bringing home nursery bugs and maybe your colleagues asking reasonable questions hit a sensitive spot with you.
you are the logical bug bringer sorry OP, if you feel they truly are being unfair the maybe have a friendly chat with them to say you understand they will be aware you pick things up maybe more so than them but you can assure them that you take all precautions necessary as you don’t want to impact them

MosaDiCello369 · Yesterday 07:24

Pugglywuggly · Yesterday 07:05

You don't know that she singled you out. She may have asked the others, or not needed to as they were at work and fine. You came in with a mask on and a cough. Then you weren't in (and actually were really sick). She was bang on the money.

I don’t think you’ve read my post correctly, we have masks at work and because I started coughing I put one on, I thought at the time because the ac was blowing out hot air that it was drying my throat as I didn’t feel unwell I actually felt great that day full of energy.

OP posts:
MosaDiCello369 · Yesterday 07:33

Sugarsugarcane · Yesterday 07:15

Is there a chance you are projecting here? As in you know that it’s tricky for you right now trying to work whilst your toddler (like all toddlers!) is bringing home nursery bugs and maybe your colleagues asking reasonable questions hit a sensitive spot with you.
you are the logical bug bringer sorry OP, if you feel they truly are being unfair the maybe have a friendly chat with them to say you understand they will be aware you pick things up maybe more so than them but you can assure them that you take all precautions necessary as you don’t want to impact them

I think you’re right I do also feel like I’m projecting here, it’s very frustrating as my son does seem to be the gift that keeps on giving. Obviously I need to be in work but I also don’t want to be the one making everyone ill it makes me feel so guilty. Also you’re right with the comment on her coming in also when she is ill I didn’t even think about that I was too busy being triggered 🤣 When I spoke to her she did say something along the lines of I would have to be dying before I take a day off work. She’s a hard worker, she works 6 days a week and has a mortgage to pay off so the financial pressure doesn’t help either.

OP posts:
Feelingworried26 · Yesterday 07:39

The aircon would make me cough too. If your colleague heard you coughing that day it probably made her ask. As you say, anyone could have brought in the bug.

UncannyFanny · Yesterday 08:32

I don’t agree with you on not recognising when I’m ill I’m more than aware of the signs.

But isn’t this exactly why you have this predicament? Because you didn’t recognise it and carried on working?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page