Is it normal to not want a job but you do at the same time?

[SupermumKaty]

I’m working as a Midday Supervisor at a local primary school and is absolutely loving it! But I only work an hour a day so it doesn’t pay enough to do it permanently. My husband works full time and has been supporting us for the past year. It has given me the chance to get my level 3 TA qualification as I want to be a TA and I’ve been looking for a TA job but because we have two children I need to be able to still do the school runs and look after my daughter one day a week as she is still in playgroup. And I don’t know what’s wrong with me I don’t know if it is fear or change or what but when I get invited to interview I get so nervous and look for excuses not to go for it but then I go to them try my best and then get the feedback you interviewed really well but there was a lot of interest in the position and there was someone with a bit more experience and then I’m really disheartened even though at the same time I’m relieved is there something wrong with me?

There’s nothing wrong with you. I have a friend who is in a similar situation as you. She’s not training to be a TA, but applies for jobs in the school office and although she goes to the trouble of applying for the jobs and preparing for the interview, she’s feels anxious in case she gets it. But when she speaks to me about it, I feel she’s more worried about the change in her hours, leaving the school she’s currently in, handing in her notice, being anxious about the increase in hours and if she will be able to cope. I try to reassure her that she would be able to cope as we always adapt to a new routine but I think for her, it’s the fear of the unknown.

In the same way, you have gone through the time and effort to get a qualification to be a TA, so you are looking to progress in your career. You also sound like you enjoy your current role, so do you think it’s because you are comfortable in your role, know the job, are comfortable in your environment?

I would ask if you can volunteer to hear reader's etc as I know of many people then getting TA jobs that way. Good luck!!☺️

Yes Ive been in the position of needing to get a job to support me (when I was doing a self funded MA) but hating the idea of having to work and study. So I got a sales job in the evening. One shift a manager said there are too many of you here and asked for a volunteer to take a weeks break. I quickly volunteered. Next day I saw my supevisor who offered me some informal work dogsbodying for him. He also got me a few hours a week tutoring at the uni. It was enough to pay my immediate expenses. When my boss at the sales company rang to offer me some shifts I was able to refuse and tell him to give the work to someone else.

Sometimes its good to be choosy.

I think you could be right, thanks for the reassurance x

I already do but the school where I am volunteering and being a midday supervisor are not hiring TAs at the moment my boss the deputy headteacher has even said that if he had the budget that he would hire me which is nice to know but frustrating at the same time