Problems at work after maternity leave and mixed messages from management

[ARPHA119]

I am in a predicament!

I retuned back to work in September 2025 and since my return it’s been hell!
I'm under new management (a colleague; I once considered a friend) who I do get on with, however her management skills are questionable at times.
On my return, my job was given to my maternity cover which I fought to get back, essentially now what’s happening is, they’ve split my role over the 2 of us, which I feel is getting messy.
There are constant errors and mistakes being made, time is wasted for duplicated work and there is the assumption of one of us picking up work.
On the back of all that, I felt that there was a distance being kept between me and the ongoings of the business (which I’ll get to shortly) and when I questioned and raised that I felt like I was being worked out of the business (yes! it was blatantly obvious) I was met with a vague, blank look for my manager.
The strong feelings of being pushed out (from fighting to get my job back and the lack of communication and support) have really affected my mental state and confidence at work.
Fast forward to 3 weeks later, and I’m pulled for an unexpected chat with my manager and it’s disclosed that I’m in the pool of a potential redundancy, (supposedly my manager was fighting my corner every step of the way) when I say I had a panic attack, I was literally floored. All my stress and panic just overflowed and didn’t stop for hours.
we left the office to go have a drink and discuss everything.
I took criticism on board and personally feel that I have made changes.
However, I would like to mention the very next day, her manager requested a sit down and told me that he’d spoken with the CEO and my name is now out of the pool for potential redundancy due to the good work I’ve done since returning to work and even gave me a pay rise. * talk about a head fck!!**
Within 24 hours this all happened. My postpartum hormones can’t cope!

We are now 2 months later, no issues, everyone getting on, muddling through everything and Bam, things are popping up again, today I was pulled for a chat as I need to be careful on how I’m being perceived.
for context: I had a 5 min moan a few weeks ago about TAPE and very whimsical moan and TAPE, yes the sticky stuff!
And my moaning has gone up the chain of command and I’m being perceived in a negative way.
However management was absolutely singing my praises for some of the work I’d done recently (which not one person has actually said anything to me directly

3 questions:

Is this normal for women to experience upon their return from Maternity Leave?

What grounds do I have with this level of treatment?

Most importantly, I personally feel like I’m being gaslit in every way possible, Am I?
or am I still on some level of post partum hangover with my hormones that I’m just taking it all so personally?

I will caveat that my manager is quite often taking an interest in my mental health (I’ve had ALOT of personal issues the past year) and will refer back to that at any given opportunity.

thanks,
one very drained mama

I'd talk to Citizens Advice. I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure there are legal protections for people returning from maternity leave. It doesn't mean your automatically protected from everything, but with everything you've outlined it could be that could be interpreted as a constructive/unfair dismissal and they could be taken to a tribunal/sued. The most troubling thing is that they gave your job to someone else while you were on/just coming back from maternity leave, which I'm pretty sure is illegal!

Hi, thanks for responding.
I did speak with citizens advise, after making it clear to my manager that I would be looking into it they moved me back to my role, however making sure that a new job description was issued despite no changes other than it’s now a split role. Just “different/same” titles.
im Sales support
they are sales associate

my Managers manager did apologise for the issue when he offered me the pay rise so they know they did was wrong.

Stop giving your manager ammunition. Everything is fine, you are fine, your work is speaking for itself. Save moaning and mental health discussions for your true friends outside of work. If she brings up past mental health discussions again, just say you're in a much better place now and things are going well.

You've been back at work 7 months so you must have given birth considerably more than 6 months ago, why are you blaming postpartum hormones for things?

no, I gave birth 18 months ago.
returned back to work in September after 11 months off.

My manager has said to be a few times that my hormones are still all over the place and that it can take 3 years to feel normal again.

But again, I don’t know if it’s that or if I’m being played/gas lit on situations.

This particular issue today came out of no where and when I said I’m really starting to hate this place, the first thing that comes from her is “if your not happy, maybe you need to look at other options as your mental health is important” I just truely feel like I don’t know if I’m coming or going!

Pregnancy and childbirth come with a lot of changes. At 18 months I wouldn’t call it postpartum hormones per se because that’s usually referring to huge hormonal shifts in the first 6 ish months. But there is still a change that hasn’t gone by 18 months and I agree with your manager that it can take years to feel back to your old self. Especially if breastfeeding.

Is there some kind of charity you can speak to like pregnant then screwed about the change in role upon your return? I am not a lawyer but my understanding of maternity leave is that one of the fundamental points of it is that you have your same job to go back to upon your return, I.e that they can’t legally give the job to your maternity cover. Splitting the job between two is not giving you your old job back and it sounds like they have no business reason that your job is no longer there other than that they are in breach of parental leave laws wanting to give your job away.

How easy would it be to find another job?

If you talk openly about hating your workplace, why would you be surprised that people think you don’t want to be there?!

I think for now stop sharing stuff with your manager. As a previous poster said. Everything is fine, you're fine etc. if your manager comments on your hormones simply say you're feeling much better and settled and enjoying the work.
Don't moan to anyone about work currently. Because you're not sure who you can trust and they're using it against you.

My manager has said to be a few times that my hormones are still all over the place and that it can take 3 years to feel normal again.

is your manager a healthcare professional? shut that shit down. Shut down any talk about your health and any mental health issues in connection with your work.

Be 100% professional. Be on top of your work, be better than better, be the best. Don't moan, don't whine, don't do anything or say anything (particularly to your manager - she is not your friend in any way, shape or form) about anything that is not related to work.

When you "fought to get your job back" did you make clear outlines of who was to do what? because it sounds like you didn't. Get that sorted asap.

This is why you should be in a union, tbh.

Sadly IME it is very common to be badly treated on return from Mat leave

I think if you have over 6 months Mat leave you are not entitled to the exact same job

Sounds messy.

The redundancy process is not supposed to be performance based. You don’t pull people in and out of being pooled due to performance. Everyone of the role function is pooled and they are scored on strength of skill. This tells me that your employer does not conduct things well (or legally) so you should keep your wits about you.

Some women return from mat leave and do brilliantly, others I have found want the moon on a stick and end up rendering themselves redundant unfortunately. It can go either way.

At 18 months, you’re not post-partum.

I don't think you're doing yourself any favours telling your manager you hate the place! I wouldn't want to listen to someone moan about tape for 5 minutes either, you do sound quite negative

Find a new job.

Join a union (citizens advice FFS?!)

Stop working for dick headed private companies. They're always stuffed with morons, they always do this to women who have children and it somehow always comes as a huge shock.

'Be 100% professional. Be on top of your work, be better than better, be the best.'

And fuck advice like this. Trying to do that while clearly being managed out is how you will end up having a breakdown. Seriously fuck that.

Especially with people being made redundant. Very tone deaf to me.

OP they don’t have to give you your old job back after six months just a job or equal
or better value. Your fighting for your jon that they don’t have to give you has caused them a situation.

You are blaming hormones after 18 months. Huh?

You are discussing you may personal issues at work. Why?

I think you need to keep your head down and get back to it and stop all the drama on your end.

If it still exists there would have to be a bloody good reason why it didn’t go back to OP.

I disagree but in any event it’s too late for OP to take it to a tribunal

I wouldn't appreciate my manager telling me that my hormones are still all over the place. It's not acceptable. Imagine if she was a man saying that to a woman at work!
You may be a mum to an 18 month old but that doesn't mean you aren't capable of being a professional at work and performing your job to a high standard. I'd nip these comments in the bud, and id also cut dead any references to your personal issues/ mental health. Because none of what she is saying sounds like it's coming from a genuine place of concern.
I suspect that your manager is deeply insecure herself tbh.

And fuck advice like this. Trying to do that while clearly being managed out is how you will end up having a breakdown. Seriously fuck that.

given that OP seems to be half arsing it, and moaning - if you don't want a (what looks like nightmare of a company) to sideline you into "redundancy" you have to fight for your job.

I'm like other pp - i have seen people come back from mat leave expecting everything to be the same but with an added level of kudos for pushing out a baby, and others come back and step up and work efficiently and properly and do very well. If i was looking to reduce my workforce? i wouldn't be looking at the latter.