Concern about boss

[Knackeredbear]

I have NC for this as it's kind of sensitive.

My boss is really nice. We're not friends exactly - she keeps a professional distance, which seems sensible to me, but we do get on well and her supportive management style has done a lot for my confidence. It's the nature of my job that I sometimes work at different sites and can be offered extra shifts (which are optional but I often accept them). My boss usually lets me have my schedule for a few weeks at a time and gives me as much notice as possible if there are any changes.

Just lately I have noticed a few mistakes and miscommunications. I might already have a certain shift on my schedule and then get an email saying "sorry, we're really short-staffed - could you come to Hilltown on Thursday morning?" when that's exactly what I was originally supposed to be doing! And once it was the other way round - I hadn't been told about a shift and knew nothing about it until someone messaged to ask where I was.

I'm 100% confident my boss wouldn't be trying to gaslight or inconvenience me, so that leaves the possibility that she's not quite managing to keep all the balls in the air. I don't know for sure that nobody else has noticed, but nobody has brought it up in my hearing, and the only time I ever light-heartedly mentioned one incident to a colleague, they just said "well, she's busy" But she's always been busy. She's about 60, a bit young for dementia to be likely.

Part of me thinks I should flag this up to her boss, as a concern about her welfare rather than a complaint. But I don't know her boss very well (we never work in the same physical location) and it would also be very important to me that my boss never realised it was me that said something. We have such a great working relationship, I'd be sorry to lose it. So basically my question is WWYD?

Assume that she's human and occasionally makes an error.

I would keep my head down and not get involved.

You sound like you're trying to undermine her

Part of me thinks I should flag this up to her boss, as a concern about her welfare rather than a complaint

Stab her in the back you mean?

Politely, graciously, cover your own back by emails in case you're mistaken and she is attempting to undermine you (or may choose to scapegoat to save face in the future); you can also find appropriate ways to support her , but otherwise keep your head down and leave well alone.

So you want to grass her up and keep it secret? Very nice. Doubtful her boss would believe your ‘concern’ though.

2 concerns here, 1 your reputation of she's saying you should be somewhere you're not because you were never told, and 2 her well being. I would keep records of shift communications, get in habit of confirming shifts back to her for record purposes. If it happens further more that you're being questioned as to why you aren't where you're expected to be with being informed I'd then have a chat with her. Sorry Mary it happened a few times that I've been surprised by scheduled work that I haven't been informed about, is there a failure in communication we need to figure out. If she is adamant she told you then I think it right that you go above her, if you don't feel comfortable sharing you concerns with her. It's not telling tales, it's reporting an unusual change in behavior that may be as a result of illness. Poor woman could have a tumour, early onset dementia (60 isn't even that young to call it early, my MIL started symptoms at that age).

Thanks all. The first few responses were exactly why I didn't just go ahead and say something - it feels cruel and underhand, especially with such a nice boss. If she was a horrible boss I might have taken a certain vindictive pleasure in it!

But the issues are much as DNLove says plus an extra one which is that more than one person works this sort of changing schedule, and at worst, a branch could be unable to open at all if not enough people turn up. That could damage the entire company's reputation. It's not just about covering my own arse, although you're right that I don't want to appear unreliable.

For now, I like the idea of just confirming and double-checking more - I might have floated that suggestion last night but it was getting late. It doesn't overtly point the finger, I can reasonably say there was once a shift that wasn't on my calendar and I want to make sure that doesn't happen again. Only by going back through all my emails was I able to satisfy myself that it wasn't my mistake, so at first glance that could be me trying to ensure that I don't slip up. And yes, it was health concerns that really prompted my question. She's not the sort of person who would struggle on knowing something was wrong, she takes sick leave when she needs it (for things like flu etc), but if this is a health issues it could be creeping up so slowly it's not obvious to her.

Why don't you just have a normal conversation with your boss, in the first instance?
(It seems a little strange that you first bring it up with a colleague and then think to secretly go over her head to her boss.)

Talk to her!

Jeeso people make mistakes when they’re busy, just talk to her

I'd probably say 'Hi Boss, bit concerned about comms as a couple of time X and Y has happened and not sure how. Can we chat?'

No one goes straight to someone's boss if they're genuinely concerned for their welfare, especially if they have a close relationship with the person, as you say you do.

Being 'about 60' doesn't mean getting forgetful, or possibly having the start of dementia, for crying out loud. How about she's just far too busy and overworked? Or possibly utterly fucked off that when she started work (at probably 16) the retirement age was 60 and she now has to slog on until she's 67 to get her pension.

I would certainly not go to her boss, that's really underhand and horrible in this instance. I would keep my head down and say nothing, but if it really increases and is inconvenient I'd ask her (just on my own, no one else there). Could be anything- maybe she got extra busy, maybe they had new scheduling software and it's a nightmare, could be anything really.

Don’t go to her boss.

Go to her? Raise concerns o. A genuine empathetic way.

Id speak to her and ask her if everything is OK. Explain the mistakes you've observed and that its unusual for her so can you help or support her in any way.
Dont go running to her boss first, that would be unfair when you've already said what a good job she usually does.
She might have some things going on in her personal life, or she might have some medical issues.
See if you can help her like she has helped you.

You don't want to blame the boss, you want to blame comms. Honestly, this is not how to win friends and influence people.

That's two small human errors. Presumably she doesn't just manage one person?

You say you're friendly with her and she's supportive yet you want to report her to her boss. For things that were clearly innocent mistakes. Not frequent ones either.

She told you to go to Hilltown when you were already going there. So no harm done there at all.

The second one could have meant you were late for your shift or didn't show up but again it was her error and these things happen. It's not like you'd have got disciplined by her for not coming to a shift you knew nothing about.

Interesting how others protected her but you thought of the worse and very “age” related scenario

I suspect you’re very much at the start of your career; read the responses and take the hint that backstabbing and bypassing basic human communication or empathy, is the way to go if you want to get sacked !

It’s very concerning that your first instinct was to go over her head, even though you say she’s generally a good manager and you have a good relationship. That shows extremely poor judgment on your part.

FYI she could be an absolutely crap boss and bypassing her to go straight to her boss instead of having a direct conversation first would still be the wrong thing to do.

It sounds like you have a lot of learning to do and if you came to me in these circumstances I’d be highly unimpressed that you’d approached me first rather than going to your manager with a proposal for ensuring you’re both on the same page. This would significantly impact on your access to any development opportunities until I’d seen a major improvement in your attitude and approach.

@Knackeredbear "at worst, a branch could be unable to open at all if not enough people turn up."

But this wasn't the case was it. She's made a couple of mistakes that don't sound utterly horrific and you're ready to scream to her superiors. Even though she's a good boss and you have a sound relationship with her. I don't trust your motives OP and I don't think higher management would either. How old are you?