Lost my confidence

[AvonCallingBarksdale]

I currently work as a small charity CEO. I
v keen/desperate to move roles as it’s incredibly stressful, pressurized and v difficult to maintain any sort of work/life balance. And contrary to the press, smaller charity CEOs are very much not raking in the millions.

I’ve always been someone who’s done well in interviews - love presenting, find/found it easy to project my best version etc. However in the last few years a combo of menopause, near burnout, family “stuff” has meant I feel a shadow of my former self.

I’ve recently had two job interviews neither of which progressed past the first interview. I could feel myself fumbling for words, getting lost mid-point and just feeling sick with nerves and anxiety beforehand. I hardly recognise myself.

I don’t know what to do now. I’m so exhausted I can’t imagine continuing in this role for much longer. I need to work financially. How the heck do I get back to some semblance of my old personality??

Thanks if you got this far.

I don’t think this uncommon especially when combined with menopause type stuff which may or may not apply to you. Worth getting this checked out though. I’m struggling with brain fog etc because of this.

@Pastlast Ive definitely noticed a shift since being menopausal. HRT has helped but a combination of menopause and feeling very lonely in my current role has, I think, led to a massive drop in confidence and self-belief. Honestly, some days I have to really psych my self up to get out of the car and walk into our office, which isn’t great.
I know I need a new role but now feel like I’m stuck in a vicious circle of self-doubt.

Hello, sorry to read this. Have you thought of finding a counsellor or life coach to help you navigate this phase and help your confidence? A good one will be able to positively reframe things and help you see your strengths and support you. Just an idea.

I think that’s a great idea. I’m feeling like such a fraud - I’m a CEO, I’m supposed to be at the top of my game 😭. But, yes, I think I need some external support to help me reframe and try and get back on track. Thank you.

@AvonCallingBarksdale you are a human being, not a robot. It doesn't matter what your job title is! Be kind to yourself. You're going through a lot by the sounds, and your job is hugely stressful. Take a breath, cut yourself some slack and get some support to help you get your mojo back 💐

Definitely a career coach would help. I am one and do mock interviews, career timelines and work on values, inner critic and confidence with clients.

Hey @AvonCallingBarksdale have you had your bloods checked recently? To rule out anything physiological which could be contributing to stress, exhaustion and anxiety? Good idea to get everything checked out (sorry if this is obvious and you get them done regularly).?

No answers from me I'm afraid as I'm in the same boat, except being managed out currently. But solidarity!

Try morehappi, you may even be able to get your current job to pay

No I haven’t, not particularly recently anyway. I should make a GP appointment anyway as I’m at the point of needing help to stay asleep. Oh what fun 😬

Ah sorry to hear that. Hope you’re taking care of yourself and getting some good advice.

Stress will be affecting your sleep. And sleep is the foundation of health. If you're struggling with insomnia and sleep issues definitely get bloods done, as iron deficiency and thyroid issues can contribute/exacerbate. Also look into a referral to the NHS SleepStation programme - it was a total game changer for me when I was battling insomnia and on sleeping tablets.

And keep talking, always keep talking ❤️

Coaching and support whether formal or informal should help. I’ve recently started attending Women in Leadership type events and have met some brilliant women at the same age and stage as me - being in those rooms with people who understand and can relate has been incredibly helpful.
Senior positions can be incredibly lonely and isolating unless you have a strong network in place

Thank you. Some really helpful tips here.