Possible disability discrimination - let it go?

[DarkMoonShine]

I feel like I’ve been discriminated against at work due to my disability:
I’ve been denied most reasonable adjustments (recommended by OH) on the basis that it wouldn’t be fair to other team members.
Another reasonable adjustment that was agreed upon is not consistently stuck to

And now I’ve had unkind remarks made to me about my disability - this is the thing that has upset me the most.
I’m not sure how to move forward, I worry that making a complaint will make everything worse and I can’t afford to lose my job. But not saying anything is causing anxiety as I don’t want to have to face co-workers.
Am I better off just letting this go?

It’s still making a change that’s detrimental to the OP though. And it can still be shared - just not with her.

She’s tried to accommodate the change; it hasn’t worked so this is where a reasonable adjustment comes in.

Im disable. None of my reasonable adjustment requests have been met, despite assurances when I started . I’ve been in post for nearly a year. It’s been a most miserable experience and made me feel so vulnerable, including bullying and harassment.
i could very likely take it further but I feel it would cause me further stress and potentially damage the organisation in a way I don’t want to.
i feel I’m being too soft on them but instead am just looking for another job which is not great as my job on paper is perfect for me and really well paid so anything else I go for is less money but I can’t cope with this distress daily.
i guess my point is, choose your battles. Have you got energy and capacity to fight this?

If the person came back before OP requested this adjustment then the organisation made the adjustment prior to this request so cannot act on information they do not have (which in their case would be OPs request).

Secondly it may not be the case that the person coming back from maternity requested this change. Its possible the company found everyone taking turns doing the off site visits had positive business affects so decided to do leave it this way.

Thirdly if its now contractual then its more tricky. The organisation need to explain why they have declined this to OP rather than just say no but if its going to have a negative impact on there business or team then they can decline legally. OP hasn't disclosed why the company have declined this as far as I can see.

I think part of it is that asking not to do one thing and asking to do more of another comes across more of a picking and choosing the tasks rather than it being a genuine need. How much explanation did you give here? Did you just say "these would help" or did you explain thoroughly why doing task A rather than task C would help you.

I'm coming from it from the position of having worked many years ago with someone who would try and take over tasks that she liked more, and drop things she didn't like. She didn't see it as we all liked/disliked those more.
She'd have an excuse for each one. So this task was "so much better if one person does it rather than sharing" (it wasn't) and the other task was "oh I'm not experienced on <washing up or something else where you don't need experience>..."

What she wanted was to have 3-4 big tasks only, but the job was very much lots of small tasks most of the time. We all preferred to do big tasks, and her idea was she did all the big (and visible) things and we did all the small little jobs. By her taking over these big ones (and sulking if anyone else did any of it) it meant that the rest of us had fewer interesting jobs.
If you weren't prepared to drop everything at times or do these little tasks then it really stacked up for the rest of us.
She thought we'd be devastated when she got another job and moved on - tbf something she was far more suitable for, but we were all relived because it meant a nicer distribution on tasks.

So what you are needing to do is show that it's not about you picking and choosing, but a genuine need.

I absolutely agree with what the union rep has offered as advice.
As a workplace rep myself I often have to support people with reasonable adjustments and inconveniencing other staff members is not a good reason not to implement them. Any employment tribunal would accept that you have been discriminated against and your employer has not put adjustments in place that were perfectly reasonable and possible.
I would be advising any member of mine to raise a grievance at this point and within that grievance I would be adding the language used by your manager and any other insensitive comments that you have had made towards you.
Neurodivergence, either ADHD and Autism and any MH problems like anxiety are classed as disabilities under The Equality Act 2010. As such, if a company has acted like yours and you have been down the grievance and appeal processes within the company, you can take this to an employment tribunal. You do need to let your union know asap about this as the time frame to start a claim is strict and is 3 months from the date of the last detriment. Your rep should be liaising with their regional officer and legal department.
As for you thinking you're making a fuss and whether you should let it go, absolutely not. Companies need to work within the law and these laws are there to protect and support us all. All laws in statute have been through parliament, so whether people agree with them or not is irrelevant really. Good luck and stand up for yourself with the strength of your union behind you.

This is exactly what unions are for. Sometimes they might turn round and say, "no, the employer can do this, because..." But otherwise, they're there to guide you and support you - "this should be challenged because... We need that information and these bits of paperwork to support the case."

I can absolutely see they don't want a single person doing site visits if possible- it's always best to have more than one person who knows how to do regular tasks etc, so the main person can take leave, be soff sick, resign. But it sounds like the team is big enough to cover this without involving you.

I suspect quite a few of my colleagues think I'm weird, and certainly I think some of them are - although we are in IT support, so it's pretty much run of the mill. What I think about them, and vice versa is fine - it's voicing those thoughts which can be problematic, and again, this is something you should take your union's advice on how to approach it.

It could well be that your manager doesn't understand your disabilities, and thinks that it's all just a matter of you be "precious" or a case of you not trying to overcome issues you have.

I have ADHD in spades, and trying to persuade one of the managers in my chain of command that I can't just stop acting in certain ways because I don't realise I'm e.g. talking too much, getting over excited, or acting impulsively, is impossible. They seem to think it's just a matter of will power on my part whereas it's a classic ADHD symptom. If I don't know I'm doing it, I won't know to stop.

Ask for an OH assessment, and be prepared to go into that with all the facts of how your disabilities affect you. If your manager refuses to refer you to OH then it's an open and closed case of disability discrimination. If OH recommends that certain adjustments are made then management have to prove why these would be unreasonably detrimental to the business. Make sure that all adjustments are recorded in writing with copies held by you, your management and HR and make sure you keep a copy at home not just on your work account.