When to quit and when to stick it out?

[Pl242]

I’m 4 months into a new job after a few years out being at home with kids and then freelancing. So a big change to be an employee again and in full time structured hours.

But it’s the role/organisation itself that’s causing me stress. Working evenings and weekends regularly. Huge trouble sleeping, not in my usual routines with eating and exercise. Feel I have no energy left for anything outside work. It’s consuming me.

I had hoped it would get better as I settle in and it has a little but still very up and down. Root cause is a complete lack of underpinning strategy and foundational things to help deliver that but almost a complete corporate denial that’s the case. My predecessor lasted 6 months, they were the first person to take this role after a restructure. The team I manage is a mix of unhappy, not delivering and potential flight risks.

If I could bolt tomorrow I would but alas it comes down to money and career progression, particularly after a break. Could afford a few months without pay but the market is so dire that there is no guarantee I’d find anything in that time framework.

My head tells me I have to find a way to make this work and then look for something else whilst earning if it doesn’t turn around.

My heart and body says this will never be right and life’s too short and I’ll only end up feeling worse and worse.

welcome views? I’m really bad at working to rule, saying no, doing a good enough job. I feel happiest at work when I know what I’m doing, have a proper plan to achieve it and can do a good job against it. I don’t mind working hard but I feel overwhelmed and deflated when all I can see is the ability to plod along. Sub par work makes me feel awful. Help!

Sounds very tough. I think you're right to keep the realities of the market and CV narrative in mind. In a different market leaving would absolutely be the right thing to do. Right now I'd say start looking while in the job.

Also if one person has already left after 6 months, would they really want another leaving and having to retrain them too? You may have more leverage than you realise to push back. I know it's easier said than done but it might help to put some boundaries in place In the meantime or get more support.

Yes. My boss is supportive to an extent but they are managing pressure from above. There are just unrealistic expectations of what we should be able to achieve coupled with really inefficient ways of working which impedes us further. I can’t see it changing. I just don’t know how I can manage it whilst I look for another role. I try to tell myself not to care so much and just do what’s needed, but far far easier said than done and im
just not sleeping which is making everything so much more difficult.

I landed my dream job in a company I long wished to work for in January. A place many would give their right arm to work at. But handed my notice in this week after 3 months. The reality was so different and the bullying culture terrible. I went from capable, confident and happy to shredded, miserable and doubting my abilities which has never happened in my long career. I won't get another job at that level/conditions/line of work again at my age so didn't make the decision lightly. It was the right decision for me but don't underestimate the slump in mood after making it. I'm 2 days on and trying not to slide into depression. I need to rethink my plans now to retirement too so it has a greater impact than just leaving the job. I can't advise what to do, just be aware of all your decision would impact and then make the decision. Its a horrible position to be in so good luck.

Completely understand about the pragmatic difficulties here!
Is there any way to think about what you can control and what you can influence and then let the rest go? You sound like the sort of person who always puts in 110% but are they actually going to do anything if you only put in 90%?
Is it reasonable within your contract that you’re doing so much work in evenings and weekends? Or can you record everything that you’re doing and then dial back from it and start upwards managing around expectations and deadlines? I’m sort of thinking that if you’re thinking of leaving anyway why not be a bit of an advocate for the team and thorn in the side? If they’re that chaotic, they’ll probably give to you and if the worst thing that can happen is they ask you to leave, well you were thinking of doing that anyway.