Changed jobs twice since November, still not happy and feeling stuck, any advice?

[Muddledmess83]

So basically. I’m a muddled mess 😂
Im early 40’s now and for the first 20 odd years I never had a job I liked, moved careers a few times but had children young so only worked part time which was manageable to stick at these crappy jobs for just a couple of days a week. Fast forward now, children are grown up and I have to work full time. I was lucky enough to find a job I really loved and was happy there for 5 years. I honestly thought I’d be there til I retired. New manager came along last summer and made my life hell. I stuck it out until November and left. This is where my problems began. I straightaway disliked new job environment for a number of reasons, problems with not being paid correctly, bitchy co worker etc. But the actual work was ok. Left that job after only 3 months. Started new job 2 weeks ago and am finding it hard. Co workers are very nice and environment is good. But I’m finding the actual work very hard. Physically demanding and overwhelming. I feel like I cant believe I’ve left one bad job for another. Family all think I’m crazy and feel trapped now as I can’t possibly change jobs again for the 3rd time since November. 😞
Anyway. Any advise welcome as I can’t bring it up at home!!

Sorry to hear you've had such a hard time - the world of work has really changed this last 5 years - people are no-where near as nice or as reliable as they used to be and the managers are usually only managers because they bullied their way to the top (not all, so please don't come at me).

I went self employed - it was perfect for me.

Work has always been hard but at least in the past it was enjoyable.

Now, all the joy has been sucked out of it. I can't remember the last time I belly laughed with a co-worker.

My worry is applying for another job so soon? And what if I don’t like that either!!

Could you try temp contracts instead for a while? So you know that if the job is not what you want you won't be stuck there for more than a few months. Then you can continue looking for the right permanent job in the meantime.

I work in care/nursing homes, so don’t really have temp jobs at those. Thanks for replying though. xx

I'm sorry you had to leave the job where you had been so happy.

If the difficulty with the new job is the physical demands, is that down to your fitness (as opposed to being asked to do something dangerous or impossible)?

If so, you will probably find that your fitness will improve over the coming weeks and that will become gradually easier. You can support your body with that by making sure you're getting enough high quality rest and nutrition.

What did you enjoy about the ideal job, was this similar role? From your comments it sounds like this current job is more physically demanding if so I would give it at least 2 months to build up fitness resilience.

It’s the amount of work. So I’m a chef. Where I worked before I had assistance with washing up, taking meals to residents and preparing vegetables. I literally cooked and baked and deep cleaned. Where I am now there is no assistance. So I am doing everything alone, preparing vegetables, cooking, baking, all washing up, and putting away plus taking breakfasts to residents in dining room and bedrooms. It’s just too much work for one person.

Could they be just trying it on?? Was it just one person before you? Why did they leave? I would ask a few questions and then have a frank discussion. How many people do you cook for and how many times a day?

Have you looked at school or nursery chef jobs? Hospitals?

In the meantime have you talked to them about the workload? Is that a permanent arrangement or are they short staffed?

I work half a week and the other chef works the other half. I have to cook breakfast and lunch, which is 2 choices and a pudding. I wasn’t told at interview just how much I had to do on my own. A lesson learnt there that I should have asked. No, not short staffed. Just seems accepted that I can manage it all by myself. I feel that bringing it up with the manager might make me look bad at my job? I’m rubbish at confrontation.

Can you speak to the other chef and ask how they manage it/ what their routine is. You won't look bad, if its too much, its too much, but there might be some corner cutting you're not aware of for example.

I don’t really have anything to add or experience in that area but yes thats way too much work for one person! kitchens aren’t a 1 person place. I hope you can negotiate to get help or if that fails I hope you find somewhere really nice with a fair workload