Freaking out - no nursery place for return to work in August

[laurentia85]

Wasn't sure whether this is a 'work' or 'nursery' topic but here goes... has anyone actually failed to secure childcare for the return to work from mat leave, how did you cope??

I'm planning to go back to work in August when my daughter will be just under 1.

Obviously I should have put her name down somewhere before she was even born but weirdly superstitious about stuff like that 🙄 And when friends with babies similar age were sorting it in first couple of months, I just couldn't get myself in gear (single parent, DC's dad is not on the scene and was struggling with feeding, getting out of pyjamas etc).

Feel I've been super naive about how it all works - I contacted a few childminders in November/December but was advised to get back in touch in spring when they'd have more idea of movements/availability which is totally fair but still not got anything concrete after contacting them again in the past few weeks. In a panic, I've registered with all the local nuseries and paid to go on some waiting lists but I'm thinking I'll be behind people who joined at the time when most parents were sorting this. Most places that I've had contact with have been upfront that the lists are long. (I'm in south London for context)

Quite worried that I just won't have something for when I need to go back to work and what the hell I'll do. Thinking worst case have to use a babysitter until a child unexpectedly leaves a setting?? I qualify for the 30 free hours but won't be able to to use that if not a registered setting and can't afford to do that for long.

Kicking myself about the poor organisation but sort of hoping it will fall out ok?! Wondered if anyone has been in this situation...do places generally appear in August/September if people are on multiple waiting lists, or how did you survive??

I would expect places to open up in September as a tranche of kids move up to school although in nurseries this might not make any difference because you’re child will be going into the baby room which is probably done on age.
a lot can change in a few months though so I wouldn’t worry too much at the moment. Lots of people go on multiple lists, people move house etc, change jobs, don’t go back to work etc.

If you go on famies information service for your local authority they will list every child care provider in your area (both private and council) in case you have missed any. Could you also look closer to your work as well? Do you have annual leave to take from last year? Could you use some annual leave and your dh use a bit, and ask family to help in the short term?

Have any of the nurseries given you an approximate time at which they might be able to offer you a place? Not to freak you out but… ours all have 18m+ waiting lists. There will probably be many people on the waiting list.

Keep on at child-minders, is it possible to extend your maternity leave at all? Work flexibly? eg our nursery seems to have less demand mon/fri.

Sister didn't manage as the place had to close. Ended up being a lot leave for both and her DH and a lot of help from both sets of grandparents. Somehow they covered three months.

Realise this may not be very helpful. But what is your support network like?

There is always a lot of movement in September so you couldn't have picked a better time to go back to work. But obviously it depends on how long the waiting lists are as to whether it's enough movement to get you a space.

If you use an Ofsted registered nanny or babysitter you can use tax free childcare (but not the free hours unfortunately).

Another alternative is a nanny-share, that's about half the cost of a nanny, but you won't be able to use the free childcare hours so still more expensive than a nursery I would think.

There’s always movement in September and whilst nurseries and childminders will know which dc are heading to school, there’s always a few that switch to school based nursery and parents won’t have given notice yet, not all places will have even allocated those places. The downside is they will start in September but in my personal experience many parents end nursery in August and have a couple of weeks holidays not having to pay for childcare. Childminders often have spots from dc going to nursery

Are you looking only in the area you live OP? If so do you work in the same area? You could always broaden your search to where you work and you might have some luck.

Remember while you are on maternity leave you continue to accrue annual leave, it’s quite common to tack this onto the end of maternity leave, and may give you at least another month of breathing room to get something sorted.

The nursery DD2 was due to go to merged with another and didn’t have space for her.

I got her on the list for everywhere practical, and a place came up at one I’d previously discounted. Initially they didn’t have enough days so I had to cover some of that with holiday, but a FT spot came up in a few months (in September, as PPs say).

I realised the reasons I’d discounted the nursery to begin with were a bit silly - it’s a lovely place and she’s very happy there.

So it all worked out but it was very stressful at the time!

I'm sure you'll get something sorted soon. It's six months until you go back. I never even considered nurseries as I didn't want them in that setting.

I found lots of movement, we were on 2 wanting lists for full time places but took 1 place for 3 days a week. Most do not use full time places and this frees up space.
This was pre 30 hours though so not sure if this has increased demand.

Do you need a full time place or can you be flexible with days? Mon/Fri often easier to get.
You'll have accrued holiday so could tag an extra month, or take time each week on harder days until space becomes available.

Good luck!

Ooh thank you - didn't know about council Family Information service, investigating that and yes, seeing what I can cobble together.

I think I need to push a bit more, haven't wanted to come across as a nightmare parent and reduce chances of a place! Though not sure it works like that... Thank you, yeah I'm trying to get my days to include Monday and Fri but def need to do Tuesdays and that seems to be most in demand day.

I wouldn’t panic yet. Although nurseries will bang on about waiting lists their actual process for allocating places seems to be far more ad hoc. You do need to be on it though. Keep badgering them, don’t assume that sitting on a waiting list counts for anything. Join local Facebook groups so you can find out if any new settings are opening. Be prepared to be a little bit flexible.

Thank you - I had started to look near work then stopped as I'll be doing 2 days a week from home so didn't seem sensible. However, needs must and I could work from the office those days...not sure if there's any less demand round there but at least giving myself more chances

Can imagine was stressful! Glad it did work out in the end, thanks for sharing the experience. There are probably a couple I could look at again, though doubtless also over-subscribed now 😅

I had to put my twins down for places when I was 12 weeks pregnant as I needed 5 days per week secured. Download the childcare app and put a fairly wide setting of x miles and just contact everyone / it’s possible you might get the days you need covered just spread across 2 different childcare providers. Don’t discount childminders either - look at all options and childminders don’t tend to charge the outrageous top up fees that nurseries do

Keep ringing. I am surprised the childminders do not know what is happening with their children

You’ll need childcare for your WFH days as well. You can’t care for a baby/toddler and work effectively at the same time.

I don’t think OP said she was going to be working from home and looking after her child at the same time. Just that it seemed silly initially to find childcare close to her office as on the 2 days she WFH she would need to go to the area of her office to drop off at nursery, then back home again, and then repeat in the evening for pick up. So in reality she’d lose the ability to WFH as she’d need to be in the office everyday to facilitate nursery.

As it’s 2 days per week and hopefully just temporary until a spot closer to you opened up would any family be able to help those days OP? Or even just 1 of the days?

@laurentia85 first off - don't blame yourself for this, I was also mega disorganised and I didn't have half the challenges it sounds like you did - it's hard!

I'm also in South London and was panicking about this - in terms of pushing the nurseries a bit, I found this DID work, squeaky wheel gets the oil etc, obviously just being very polite etc.

Second what someone else said about looking sightly outside your area, maybe somewhere on the way to work? It would be a bit of a pain for a while, but doable, and better than no nursery. There are certainly places I know of in Stockwell / Kennington on the way into town that have recently had spaces, but appreciate you could be more South East.

Thank you - yes, this. I didn't want add in an hour long each way commute (with a tricky platform change...who'd live in London eh?) for childcare on wfh days when ideally I'd have a 15 min walk. But gonna explore as hopefully short term solution. And hopefully parents 1 day

Thanks for this and the reassurance - def going to be a polite but squeaky wheel! And good to know about Stockwell etc...not really on my way but need to consider all!

Another thing to consider is that most places prioritise children already attending who want more days, so if somewhere offers you 1 or 2 days, take it – it will usually move you up the waiting list for the other days.