I’m in my mid forties, have had a messy ten years of work since kids to accommodate where we live and lack of childcare.
Worked in corporate before kids, granted rather disliked it as one of those pained creatives does. But was neither creative nor corporate and was both. Have worked freelance over last ten years with a few senior roles in between, but CV is now just messy and shows no linearness which I know employers prefer and perhaps then shows no commitment.
Had a very traumatic time having children, family health related issues, quite serious but also I can’t disclose.
I have an opportunity now. I’m well qualified, trained in Big Four etc with some other occolades. But I have an opportunity to brave it.
I write and paint and a lot of people see me as this but I just cannot seem to carve out an area for myself, even though I would be seen as someone capable and resilient and creative, but it’s like I’ve lost sight of it all. And also so hard to tell in this climate, is it ageism, is it the state of the world or is it that I feel disconnected now.
Ultimately I would love my own thing. I look at psychology, physiotherapy as potential paths too, I perhaps look towards a career identity for security as I have two primary school kids too much.
My therapist is convinced I need to write more and take it more seriously but I have trouble owning this part of myself, perhaps it’s just the few knocks I’ve had.
Has anyone navigated this fork in the road well?
When I read of people carving out their own path at this stage in life I have such admiration. I have been to coach but they all say that it’s clear where I should be headed, down a more creative route but I think I’ve been institutionalised in what I see as ‘work’. And also I feel that they tell you what you want to hear and no the realities.
Any thoughts? The clock is really ticking I feel at my age and I have to be able to provide from my kids. Honestly I’m a bit frightened rather than excited.