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Mid-40s with messy CV after kids

3 replies

Lookbehindu · 19/03/2026 23:19

I’m in my mid forties, have had a messy ten years of work since kids to accommodate where we live and lack of childcare.

Worked in corporate before kids, granted rather disliked it as one of those pained creatives does. But was neither creative nor corporate and was both. Have worked freelance over last ten years with a few senior roles in between, but CV is now just messy and shows no linearness which I know employers prefer and perhaps then shows no commitment.

Had a very traumatic time having children, family health related issues, quite serious but also I can’t disclose.

I have an opportunity now. I’m well qualified, trained in Big Four etc with some other occolades. But I have an opportunity to brave it.

I write and paint and a lot of people see me as this but I just cannot seem to carve out an area for myself, even though I would be seen as someone capable and resilient and creative, but it’s like I’ve lost sight of it all. And also so hard to tell in this climate, is it ageism, is it the state of the world or is it that I feel disconnected now.

Ultimately I would love my own thing. I look at psychology, physiotherapy as potential paths too, I perhaps look towards a career identity for security as I have two primary school kids too much.

My therapist is convinced I need to write more and take it more seriously but I have trouble owning this part of myself, perhaps it’s just the few knocks I’ve had.

Has anyone navigated this fork in the road well?

When I read of people carving out their own path at this stage in life I have such admiration. I have been to coach but they all say that it’s clear where I should be headed, down a more creative route but I think I’ve been institutionalised in what I see as ‘work’. And also I feel that they tell you what you want to hear and no the realities.

Any thoughts? The clock is really ticking I feel at my age and I have to be able to provide from my kids. Honestly I’m a bit frightened rather than excited.

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 20/03/2026 02:25

The fork in the road doesn’t necessarily need to have ‘moneymaking corporate’ on one side and ‘impoverished creative’ on the other. Plenty of roles blend both, or plenty of people navigate part-time in both, or volunteer alongside.

You also don’t only get one fork in life, and you can always jump off the road and walk the less well-trodden path! There’s no correct answer, just as much as most decisions like this aren’t necessarily permanent.

I think the best that any of us can do is pick which path suits us best for now and the near future, and go from there.

sweetpeaorchestra · 20/03/2026 13:02

You say you have to provide for your kids - what sort of salary do you need short term and what’s your long term financial goals?
I am in a similar boat at 42.
I wouldn’t gamble on earning a living solely something purely creative but I’d definitely ensure I was pursuing this somehow.
Can you work part time somewhere and set aside time in the week for writing projects?
I suppose I’m saying keep a foot in both camps.
If finances weren’t an issue I’d say just focus on the creative, but very few people earn enough from this especially in the early stages

Lookbehindu · 22/03/2026 22:32

Thank you so much @AbzMoz for such wise words. Easy to get caught up in the midlife where I should be game. I swing from the comfort of knowing deep down life isn’t linear and then something irks me. Perhaps seeing friends to doggedly kept at their career full belt with babies and young kids and feeling like a pleb. I know comparison is the thief of joy. But I really hate feeling directionless and confused.

@sweetpeaorchestra yes I do need to be secure. Honestly I need to option of sustaining life alone. No mortgage so that’s a big win but nonetheless life is expensive even if you’re no remotely lavish with two kids and the way life is. Terrified of letting them down I think more than anything. Working part time in film now, which is great but to go full time to get anyway in it the hours are very long. Fitting this in with a midlife crisis MSc and just have to see where it all goes. It’s not not being in the right place that’s bothering me - it’s not being sure what direction to pivot myself in and wanting to have more clarity so I can be more intentional.

Thanks to you both for taking the time to respond. I think my confidence has taken a major hit and finding it hard to find myself again.

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