Work/life balance as a midwife

[meadowkoa]

Hi all,

I am wanting some advice from current midwives please. I am reallyyyyy wanting to become a midwife. Ideally, I’d want to be applying for unis in two years ( when my baby is 2 years old).

The thing I am hesitant about is feeling like I will never see my children. I love being a mum. I am obviously aware that you’d be working shifts 365 days a year. I’m used to shift work but that was pre children.

Can any midwives advise how they find it please? Obviously the uni course would be full on but how is it once employed?

Many thanks x

Bump

I’m a midwifery lecturer but was a midwife until recently. It’s probably the most non family friendly career ever. It might vary from hospital to hospital slightly but I’d say generally you get no choice for your shifts. Apart from 4 requests a month. You can’t plan anything in advance unless you book annual leave which is annoying when leave is limited and you just need to guarantee a specific day off….because even your 4 requests aren’t guaranteed. And then you try to book leave and get told you can’t have any that week. You’ll miss sports days, parents evenings, nativity plays, first days at school, etc

being a student is even worse as you pretty much have to work what your main supervisor is working. And you’ll be working full time. At least when you are qualified you can choose to be part time. Working full time is quite rare…partly because the hospitals don’t like recruiting full time staff and also because it burns you out a lot and it’s hard to sustain full time hours.

shifts are long shifts, so 13 or 12.5 hrs either days or nights. They’re exhausting but obviously it does mean you get more days off which you’ll need. You will have to have excellent childcare and someone else will have to do the drop offs and pick ups on working days as ime childcare doesn’t start early enough or finish late enough. It can be hard because some days you won’t see your kids at all…they’ll be in bed when you leave and in bed when you get home. You’ll obviously be working nights which can be tough. And when you’re qualified you’ll be working Xmas, Easter, etc.

i do get a number of students who quit the course because they find they’re not seeing their kids enough. Others who leave as they can’t sustain childcare cover.

im not meaning to sound negative because for many the positives of the job outweigh all of this. But you need to know the reality.

Thank you for this! I wanted honesty. I would love to become a midwife, I really feel like I have a calling for it especially after having children. I waited a long time to become a mum and I know in my gut it wouldn’t be the right decision for me. :(

@meadowkoa I recently had a baby and there was a student midwife who was almost 50. Her children were in their teens- one of them was actually at university as well. My point is don’t rule it out forever even if it is not something you want to do whilst your children are still very young. Your children will grow up and need you less and then it’s your time again. I’d say just focus on getting your pension and any savings healthy now and you can think about a career change later. Then if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out but nothing is lost.

I found it harder as the children got older as it was a real juggle to work shifts around their activities and bits and pieces. If you factor in everything you need or want to do with them, full time work is hard. For a while I worked a couple of nights which I disliked but it freed me up for things like assemblies and their clubs.

Would all this also apply to a midwifery assistant? Shifts, long hours and no say in shifts etc?

Yes

Hi OP, I am in my second year qualified and it is not very family friendly at all. I started on 30 hours a week which should have been 3 shifts one week and 2 the next but I ended up either getting loads of 3 full shifts and then a random 1 shift. I then dropped to 23 hours which was 2 shifts a week. I also try and have nights only as the pay is better and its easier for childcare (single parent).

I am currently so stressed as my childcare is falling apart around me and work are trying to be accommodating but it is so hard. Absolutely do it if you have robust childcare support around but without it, it is extremely hard.

Thank you! I was really encouraged by the older students there. Who knows what the future holds! X

Thanks for sharing @FeelingSadToday1 I really hope things work out for you. It’s so hard as a mum wanting a career but also to be present for your children. I would have to rely heavily on grandparents as my partner, their dad often works away and I’m not sure if that’s something I want. X

Just bear in mind that it's not all "Call The Midwife " and catching babies.

Never watched call the midwife but yes, after two high risk pregnancies I’m well aware of that!

I am a former midwife, left a long career that I loved mostly because it was so un family friendly. Extra hard for me as a single parent with no support but arranging child care was impossible - e.g could not work weekends/unsocial hours as nursery not open and no other options, yet zero sympathy or recognition that I wasn’t being difficult I just could not do those shifts. I couldn’t even request the same shifts every week to allow me to plan childcare around what was available. Even the hospital nursery was only open M-F, I left before the school years but that would have been even more difficult. I was always being fined (quite rightly) but nursery for being late because I couldn’t leave on time as there was no one available to hand over to & obviously couldn’t just leave!

Such a shame as I loved my job, was experienced and had worked really hard to be a good midwife, and I know of several colleagues who have all left for similar reasons. I think if you have a huge amount of support around you and are comfortable with being absent for chunks (although the flip side of the long shifts is that you have several long days not at work each week which is nice) its do-able. You’re not available to your family on work days but you do have decent amounts of time off within that working pattern.

@junenotoffredthats such a shame, more than a shame. Damned if we do and damned if we don’t as mums! Surely the midwife retention rate is low?! I’m sorry you had to do this after working so hard and deep down I know it’s probably something I’d end up doing so I’m glad I did this thread. Nothing will compare to spending more time with your children xx