When you tell people you’re a nurse….

[AnotherPerson23]

Hi everyone,

I qualified as a mental health nurse in 2015 and at first I was really proud to say I’m a nurse, probably because I found university quite difficult and I’d made it.

Fast forward 11 years and now when I tell people I’m a nurse I dread the reaction. So for example I’ve now got children and when mums ask me in the school yard and I tell them I always get the same response….which is “oh goodness I could never do that”. But it never feels like they’re saying it as a compliment to me and that they see it as a skilled, yet difficult job. It feels as though they’re saying it in a patronizing way. Then we move on the the comments about being poorly paid etc. It makes me dread telling people! Most of these people are housewives and I leave the conversation feeling like something they’ve trod in.

Any other nurses get this as well?!

now when I tell people I’m a nurse I dread the reaction

really? 🤔

Its like being a teacher isnt it? If you complain enough about the terrible pay and terrible conditions then its hardly going to entice people in to the job.

Nurses, doctors, teachers, early years care, elderly care work.... all the same.

Good point

You don't have to tell people what you do for a living. Give an oblique answer if you have to, 'work for the NHS', 'work in [X town]' or just lie and tell them you work in an office. They are unlikely to probe. It's just schoolgate chatter.

No, not had that reaction,

you are earning more than the housewives, they won’t have a clue what it is like to successfully complete a nursing degree or what it is like working in mental health settings,

I wouldn’t give their uninformed judgement any weight at all ! When their kids are struggling with anxiety they will be asking you !!

I don’t tell anyone unless they specifically ask.

I get a few reactions, their full medical history and that of their nearest and dearest including bowel habits!
Horror stories of medical negligence and awful waiting times like it’s my fault personally for the whole thing.
Asked for my medical opinion on some class of rash…
But generally people are lovely and interested so ask questions… which I ALWAYS, without exception swing back to them, their job, their kids, life as I get a bit squirmy talking about me for some reason.

My first thought would be difficult job, fantastic pension provision, six months full sick pay, six months half pay, unlikely to be made redundant oR experience long periods of unemployment. Yes, difficult job and I’ve never me anyone working within the health service who doesn’t think they work harder than anyone else for poor pay.

Whwn they say they couldn't do it, could they mean it in an admiring way?

Yes I feel this way! I used to work in a more “worthy” nursing role and people were quite admiring, now I work in a different field which is harder in lots of ways but people react totally differently.
I also find that as people’s experience with the NHS has worsened that I am tarred with that brush and met with disdain.
It was totally different 10/15 years ago.

When I tell people I’m a maths tutor it normally provokes a rant about how much they hate maths or they’ll tell me they never understood fractions or something, so I kind of get what you mean.

I agree with this. Same as one poster, I used to work in one sector of nursing which seemed to be universally admired and people’s reactions were overwhelmingly positive and would normally lead them to talk about their own experience. Then moved into another sector and people now tell me their stories about how bad their experience was of that sector. I always wondered how accepted it would be if I did the same when people told me what they did.

Afew of my friends are nurses and I’m proud of them - ignore the negativity you do a great job.

It’s hard isn’t it. I’m a police detective and I tell people who ask what I do that I work in an office as I don’t get questions like “what’s the worst thing you’ve seen” or “my neighbour is smoking weed, how do I report them”. I just want to be left alone when I’m not at work.

Seems a strange way to take the comment ‘ oh, goodness I could never do that’ . Maybe they just mean they wouldn’t want to deal with close interaction with other people’s bodies, that they wouldn’t have the fortitude to deal with patients who are in pain, stressed and unhappy, that it can be physically demanding job that also requires a deep knowledge base. It’s as much a self reflection on their own preferences and boundaries as a critique of your choice of career. You are overthinking it in a negative way .

As a nurse of 35 years, in order of most common response. First - can I show you this/ask you about my granny? Second - you lucky thing my job is so boring/I’ve always wanted to be a nurse. Thirdly - poor you I couldn’t do that I hate blood/people/children/people complaining.
I always respond with my worst job would be a florist or flautist.

Nurse of 31 years and I have never had negative reactions. Most people will say what hospital do you work at (I don't I have a community based role) and then they go on to tell me their Mum / Wife / Sister is a Nurse. Most people seem to find it a respectable profession and are aware of the pressure we work under most days.

I get people saying that they couldn’t do it but I don’t take it negatively. I love my job but it is hard!

I think your reaction is probably more about you than them.

You don’t know much then!

LOTS of redundancies atm and newly qualified can’t get jobs

Also sick pay depends on length of service and sickness history

I've learnt that it doesn't matter what job you're doing. There will be pros and cons for all the them and someone will always have a negative opinion. You should be proud to call yourself a nurse! It's a tough position from start to finish.

I get that all the time when o tell people I’m a paediatric nurse. I don’t see the issue. I just say that kids are incredibly brave and much more resilient than we give them credit for.

I haven't told someone I'm a nurse for YEARS! Partly because I can predict their first three questions about it and partly because of what i actually do.

My role is extremely niche and not what people expect nurses to do. I really can't be bothered to explain it for 10 minutes and still not have people understand

As far as most people know, I've got a little admin job from home.

I am a nurse and I just skirt around enquiries about my job .
I actually work in a wonderful care home but cannot be arsed with justifying my lovely job and the care that our residents get !

Intri to know what you do now!

It's not that exciting @Thesofathatwas ! I'm going to be vague but essentially I use my medical knowledge to inform and design corporate structures. I never saw myself doing this but absolutely love it.

See, I’m even more intrigued now!!!!
NHS corporate structures or private?

I do similar you see….