Consequences of being away from 4 year old daughter for two days a week?

[Whattodo12345678]

I am studying for a counselling diploma in Sussex but am moving to somerset. my course will end in december 2027 and if I carry on will mean that I travel down on a Monday and back on a Tuesday but will be gone before my daughter wakes up and back after she goes to bed so it’s two full days that I don’t see her. she will be with my husband (her dad) and her grandparents so does have a great support around her. I would be doing this probably 48 weeks of the year. I expect to move around May 2026.

OR I start a new course nearer to my new house and push back my graduation by a year or so (and also waste the time / money spent on this current course).

I just can’t decide what’s best!! Would be grateful for any advice. Does anyone have any experience of being away a couple of days a week for work or study?

Your DD will be fine ! Its you that are/will be pining !

She’s with her dad so will be fine.

Plenty of people had a parent who worked away during the week (or for weeks!) but remained closely attached. If you or your h worked a night shift and didn’t see your dd would you be concern r? Of course not.

There is an end date so go for it

She’ll be fine and this will be great for her relationship with her dad too. Just be completely transparent with her about times and where you are. You can make a picture chart with the days of the week and the photos of the people she’ll be with that day and put it on the wall in her room.
It’s probably good that you arrive after her bedtime because inevitable delays could upset her if she expects to see you.
From now you can start regularly being out of the house for aspects of her routine (bath, bed, breakfast) so that she gets gradually used to doing them without you. Explain to her what you are learning and where, it’s a great example for her.
Don’t throw away time and money by repeating things!

She will be fine BUT has she started school? If not then beware in September the madness of settling into reception - lots of schools stagger it so dc are only in school half a day - we had one week am then next week pm only - or start a week or two after you expect and don’t stay for lunch. It is next level bonkers!

Depends on the school so contact your preferred primary school and ask how it works.

Thanks for all of your responses, much appreciated. She hasn’t started school yet so will be starting. Logisitcally this is fine as dad and grandparents are on hand. I wondered if emotionally that might make it harder for me not to be there? I could always FaceTime her for those two nights I’m away, or can that cause more upset?

She’ll be fine, she’ll be with her Dad not a stranger, it will become normal for her

Super good for her relationship with her dad and ensuing joint parenting. I don’t say your Dd will like it - she may well complain - but it won’t do her any harm. And you are setting no her a great example of a women progressing her professional life and being married to a DH who supports that and is capable of being the primary carer for his own children.

Is your DH fully on board with this, including any staggered start at primary (you do have a right for her to start full time, but she may prefer a staggered start if most of the other pupils do this) and is used to looking after her on his own? DH worked abroad for months when DC was this age and there was no problem, but I looked after DC day to day anyway.

Yep he’s totally on board and has flexible work

I wouldn’t see any issues with this at all. It’s only two days.

I live in the Home Counties and have a job which requires 2 days in London. Quite often I’ll see them for 30m in the morning on those days (when it’s hardly quality time because I’m in and out of the shower and dad is dressing them) and more often than not I’m home after they’re in bed. My kids are 5 and a half and nearly 4.

It’s not been an issue for the kids and I agree I’ll feel harder on you! But I’m around before and after school/nursery on 3 days and all weekend and we get loads of time together. And they benefit from me doing this. So I say stick with Sussex :)

If there is a similar course - same level and modality - you might be able to transfer rather than repeat first year.
When I trained people joined and left in both second and third year ( of a four year course). Many trainings are one weekend a month. Have you already started your course? If not, find another, if so find out about moving midway.

Yep I have asked and they won’t let me switch so I have to start from year 1 again