Work bullying of working mum of 1 & pregnant.

[TheAmberBee]

Hello there,

I'm writing this in hope that someone else is in or has been in a similar situation.

When my son turned one I went back to work after maternity leave and was really excited to get back to work, get back to my job after having a year out spending the time with my son. I missed him so much but I really liked settling back into work, however there was no phased return back to work nor any help given. I did ask if I needed any more kit days during my maternity leave and was told 3 or 4 was enough. With also being a first time mum I just didn't not realise that having a year out so many things would change so quickly and I needed more than just 4 days.

I started to realise this in the first few weeks being back at work, however when I raised this with my managers, they said I was doing fine and it just takes time and not to worry.

It just got to a point where I was just feeling overwhelmed and so after raising many concerns, I finally wrote an email explaining everything and raising the fact that my manager had not really helped me settle back into work and reminded them that I'm a first time mum so these are all new things to me.

However fast forward to now, that email clearly did not settle well and my workplace and colleagues, have all written statements saying I'm really bad at my job and I don't know what I'm doing, and it was such a shock considering the fact that I've had to overcome work stress, working past my time and being late to pick up my son at nursery and no issues being raised until they felt like it. I've always had positive compliments as well as people telling me that I'm really great at my job.

I've been in contact with my unions so they're helping me but it's really sad to see how such a good job has turned so sour since I've returned from maternity leave and I've been there quite a while but I'm also worried that it might affect me as I'm currently pregnant. Essentially now at work the environment is so toxic that I don't really speak to anyone. Bear in mind it wasn't just one statement it was a course of statements over a period of time so everyone's essentially dug me a grave at work.

In summary, I could lose my job, my career and I know it's not everything but it's the fact that I've worked to get to where I am, and it all could just disappear because I raised some concerns hoping for some support but instead got the opposite.

Any support or helpful advice would be great. Fingers crossed that things work out for me.

Thanks!

Had they raised any concerns about your work performance before you sent the email?
it is hard returning to work after being on maternity, i felt the same, after about 6 months I left for another job part time which fitted in better with my child, I only went back full time when she was in school full time.

None at all.

These concerns have literally popped out of nowhere.

Sorry to hear that that was your situation. Did you change careers or just find another job in the same area/field?

Do work know you are pregnant?
And Did you tell them before or after all this?

Who did you send the email to, your manager directly or someone else?

Oh lovely, my heart goes out to you, this is so unfair and sadly not uncommon. You asked for support after maternity leave, were told you were doing fine, then suddenly everyone has written statements against you after you put concerns in writing? That timing is not a coincidence and smells like retaliation. Keep hold of that original email and any positive feedback you received before this kicked off. Your union is the right move, lean on them hard. Please also tell your midwife about the stress as they can support you and document it. You haven't done anything wrong by asking for help, and a decent employer would have given it.

Yes I told work about my pregnancy very early on, after the concerns were raised so probably upset them more :/

It was to my manager directly, the email.

Thank you all for the advice, especially @sarahd89 I really appreciate it and your advice. Will keep my head up x

Hey lovely, sorry to hear you are in this position. When exactly did you return to work and how soon after did you tell them you were pregnant again?

I was in a similar position to you as I went back to work pregnant but tried to hide it till about 18/19 weeks when I told my manager. Anyways I enjoyed my job but obviously needed the flexibility for nursery pick up and hospital appointments and I continued to work from home a lot. I believe people weren't happy about this and I'm pretty sure they gossiped behind my back because in my team and the wider area , this was just a normal thing to do.

I'm back now after 2nd maternity leave and have demanded I use my holidays to do part time for some time which was initially not liked but accepted.
I have had no formal catch ups with anyone really about how I was settling back in and to be honest no one in my immediate team was really asking me about my kids or how I'm adjusting. I think the expectation was that I come back and hit the ground running straight away...

Some days I ask to be more flexible or on occasion work from home but have the feeling this is not liked much and maybe my manager is gossiping with the other people in the team about this .. or maybe complaining?! But I won't know for sure what has been said.

It's very hard and also lonely sometimes. I think the rest of my team could easily follow what happened at your work place and write statements about me but not because I'm not good at my job... But because of my need for flexibility around my family. It's like an inconvenience...

Sorry long post , but you have my solidarity. If you need to vent , feel free to DM me any time !!