Swapping 30min walk/10min cycle commute each way for 1-1.5hours in car each way

[Puppalicious]

I’m pretty miserable in my job. Overlooked for a (promised) promotion, feeling undervalued, potentially facing a demotion…But been there a long time, 2 days a week in office (usually one day a month overnight or 6 hour round commute), flexible, my boss barely knows where I am a lot of days. And the commute is as above. I’ve just been contacted about a job, looks really interesting, the exact way I want my career to go (very similar to the missed promotion) - but the commute would be 50mins - 1hr 20mins each way in the car and I would probably be required in the office about 4 days a week (as new starter). Would you consider it? I’m aware my current commute is a rare luxury but is it keeping me in a role I’m very unhappy in?

For me that commute would be hell and hugely impact most other aspects of my life, so there is zero chance I'd go for it.

There are so many things to consider, do you have children? DP/DH? Do you have evening things you like to do, gym/socialising? Is there a significant pay rise involved?
When I met DH I used to commute 90mins each way, I left at 6am to get a parking spot and would usually walk back through the door. It did wonders for my career and I am in a great place in my career and fully remote but it came at a price of time spent with him and DSC, they were all asleep when I left and had already eaten and the DSC’s getting ready for bed when I got home.
I would never go back to those days wasting up to 5hrs a day on a motorway on a bad day but they served a purpose at the time. Only you will know if it’s a sacrifice you’re willing to make

Yes I have 3 children. I don’t do much in the evening except have dinner with the kids. I do like to go for a walk or gym at lunch and obviously get exercise on my commute - so not sure how I would replicate. I do have a DH, and a minder, but she only stays early one day a week, we share the school drop the other days. I wouldn’t contemplate this for less than 30% uplift salary. It would be great for my career, I’m at serious risk of stagnating. I have struggled with anxiety at my current (v secure) job - I worry I would bring this with me. But the idea of being trapped where I am has me very depressed.

Nope, wouldn't even consider that. I'd use the time to continue looking for other jobs and would build my CV by doing as many courses as I could.

When I checked this evening on google maps it said 50 mins home at around 6pm but my DH did a similar journey this morning and it took him 1hour 20 mins.

50 mins yes, 1 hour 20 then no.

There are very few jobs at this level for me. I was approached unsolicited 2.5 years ago for similar type job (shorter commute) but ive seen very little since then…its nice to be contacted at least!

I wonder would it be worth it if I was told only 3 days a week? Though the email talks a lot about presence and influence which I think is code for being in the office. I’m getting ahead of myself! I’ve just been totally daydreaming about escaping my current workplace

If I were to leave now (6.30) it takes 35 mins - perhaps I could just leave very early in the morning?

It would be a hell no from me.

No. That will impact on your health quite fast. I'd want to keep it to a shorter drive or walkable distance.

You’re not sure how many days they need you in - I would ask. If it’s 4 it’s probably a no but if it’s 2 or 3 then that becomes possible

I’d definitely go for it. If they offer you the job you could ask about flexible working eg arriving and leaving early. Also would they consider more wfh days once you’re established and have built relationships?

No I wouldn't consider it, especially not with family responsibilities. Maybe up to an hour but I've never had to commute that long.

If it takes 35 minutes at 6.30am then it’s not far away. My workplace is super flexible, we have some people that come in at 7 and leave about 3. I’d at least find out more before discounting

Speak to the employers about it. Tell them some of what you have said here, the position sounds perfect but you’re concerned about the commute. Is there a possibility to start and finish early and/or cap office days. Then consider once you have all the information, although be aware they may make big promises about number of days in office before you start and then change their requirements.

That commute will really affect u and everyone else. I really would not consider it unless u onli gad to do it 1 day a week. It is dead time. If u leave the house at 6.30 -that willl have an impact too. Even if u started work at 7.05 and were able to leave for home earli to avoid traffic, I would say onli do this for 1 day too. You cannot overestimate the toll this would take on you and everyone else OP.

No chance, I’ve done commutes like that for short term secondments and it rules your life.

I work on the basis of ‘not turning down a job I haven’t been offered yet’

I hear from your posts how miserable you are in your current role. You have nothing to lose by applying for the new job. Suss it out. Check what package they’ll be able to offer you and then consider it. You can go all the way through to an offer (and even beyond accepting but that’s a bit shitty) and turn it down at any point if it’s not going to work for you. Check how flexible and family-friendly they are. Starting early and finishing early isn’t an unreasonable request.

Personally I’d do that commute for a couple of years as my career and development is importantly to my overall life satisfaction.

And it won’t hurt your current employer to get the message that you are looking for a job elsewhere

Go for it OP

I do that length of commute. It's not fun but it's the price I pay for having the career that I want.

Thanks all. Ok, I think it’s worth looking into at least, although the recruiter now has gone quiet! So very much getting ahead of myself. Maybe I could flex hours - if I were to take it I would want to be in the office 3-4 days as I think that’s needed for this type of role. I wouldn’t consider if I was happy where I was - but, unfortunately, I’m not.