How to respond to boss

[Appleday11]

I was working last week. I did a task but I forgot to tick it off on our shared list. I remembered about it the next evening and I ticked it off then. In the morning another of my colleague works. She told my boss that this list wasn't ticked.

I got an email from boss today, not asking what happened. It had a very accusing of "this wasnt done, you need to justify yourself"
She didnt just sent it to me
She sent this email to five people including the colleague who said it to her. This other colleauge does not work in my team. She just uses the same office.

My boss has a history of being negative , critical and blowing things up to make the person worry. We could do one hundred things well, and she will try to find one thing that hasnt been done to her standards. Im looking through the emails she has sent to my team this week. All emails have been negative. Shes also inconsistent. One person can do something a certain way and she will say it was fine. Antoher person will do it the same way and she will say it was wrong

I should have done it, but I feel like we all forget to do things occasionally right. This is the first time that I've forgotten to do it in a year. Im also annoyed at my colleague (best friends with boss) who said i forgot to do it to my boss. I've seen other people forget to do things in my workplace. If i see it, i just remind them to do it. I don't go and tel my boss "ann didnt do this:

Im annoyed at myself for forgetting to do it, as i know what my boss can be like, she is not flexible over small things in any way,and now after ive received her email, ive been feeling really bad all day.

I feel like if I reply "it was an admin error on my part. I remembered and filled it in the nest day". Which sounds like a fairly normal response, she will just get really angry.

I feel like writing "everyone in this place has forgotten to do things at some stage or another". But I know it will just sound petty.

Im also upset that she sent the email in a group email to five different people, one person has nothing to do with our team at all, pointing out that I forgot to do something. Why didnt she just email.me.and ask me privately

Im not sure how to respond. Any ideas

I also feel like she has favourites. I feel like someone else forgot to do it, it spuld not be mentioned at all, or they might at best get a gentle reminder.

I forget to do it and ive been sent a serious email saying "its been brought to my attemtion that this wasn't done and you need to justify yourself". This was also sent to 5 other people to make me worry even more

Ive been feeling really bad since i received her email

Sorry to hear about the annoying boss.

There's no reasoning with these type of people. Keep it simple!

"That task was completed on day XYZ. I forgot to tick it off our list so I did so that evening. Apologies for the admin error!"

How assertive do you want to be?

I would say:

Just to confirm, I completed the task on [day] and updated the shared list on [day]. (I would put a smiley face here!)

For future queries about my responsibilities [or tasks], I’d appreciate colleagues contacting me directly. This helps me respond quickly and avoids unnecessary confusion.

BTW, your manager sounds terrible. It’s not your fault, it’s a minor thing that you corrected as soon as you realised. Don’t beat yourself up about it (I know that’s hard). For what it’s worth, I made a major boo-boo yesterday by not sending vital information to a client yesterday (time sensitive). Oops! These things happen, and both my boss and the client were fine about it.

I had a boss like this once. He’d brim with rage over what should’ve been an easy resolution and I felt frozen with it. I learnt to just acknowledge and move along. So ‘Hello, I did complete the task but you’re correct that I forgot to mark it off the list. This was an error on my part and I apologise. I shall endeavour to learn from my mistake and it won’t happen again.’

Then try and let it go.

Your boss sounds like a fucking cunt.

I wouldnt respond to their email at all. Fuck that shit.

She only has the other colleagues word against yours - ask her if anyone died as a result of a delayed "tick".

If not, tell her to get a grip and STFU and fuck off. You should report her to HR and launch a grievance on her sorry ass.

Your suggested response sounds fine, just send it so your boss knows the task is complete.

What did the email from your boss actually say? As you might be interpreting it more negatively than was intended.

Email was marked with high importance.

It says
Its been brought to my attention that one of the tasks was ticked off outside of the correct date and time. I have evidence from your colleague. Can you justify what your rationale for this was?.

Emailed round to five People that I work with

Its not even a checklist where not ticking it - may confuse the next person working, like a health and safety checklist that has to be done at certain times.

Our shared list should be ticked to show that its been done that week, for records that we file away. I ticked it the next evening before my next colleague used the list.

She always makes me feel like im terrible at my job. I feel if i say "i forgot" to some bosses its fine, like the poster above said to her boss.

My boss likes a power trip and making people worry. She sent it at end of her shift today before she went home. So she will leave me worried all evening tonight. I was going to go to a group tonight but she has sucked my energy, made me feel bad , now I feel like staying in

She just wears me down. Never any positive feedback.

The last negative email i got from her was not that i hadnt done something, but that i hadnt done it fast enough.

Something broke one friday evening. I was working that weekend and I fixed it on Sunday . She sent me an email saying why didnt I fix it on Saturday. I said, because no one was using the thing on Saturday on Sunday, and a lot more urgent tasks had come in for me to do on Saturday. I said I prioritised the more urgent tasks, and competed the less urgent tasks on Sunday.

I then asked her did she have a working time frame for how many days we can take to fix / sort issues, so I could clarify that. My friend works in a company where the company tell customers that it will take them 3-5 days to fix their issues.

Her reply "no. Just do everything as soon as you can"

I'd be looking for another job ( yes, I know that is hard)

Hello!What's your boss like? Im wondering how bad my boss is, on a scale of bosses.

I would just say “the task was completed on time, I forgot to tick it off the list so corrected that in my own time. No rationale other than a poor memory”. Bloody ridiculous but I’d not be bending over backwards to appease her, short and factual.

i honestly would not reply to the email. I’d speak to her. Along the lines of ‘I ticked it off the following day, then: why did you feel the need to say you had ‘proof’? Do you think I’d lie to you? Why did you need to copy the five people in? And most importantly, what problem was caused?

The outcome I would want would be - 1/ confirm she agrees you don’t lie and that was not how she meant it 2/ agree going forward it’s not needed to copy everyone in 3/ Confirm the impact of not updating on the right day was zero.

Once I had this, I’d follow up with a ‘to confirm our discussion…’ type email on all the above (without copying anyone else in). The most important one being - we agree if there are future concerns with my work, you will contact me directly first to clarify matter before involving others.

This would be the start of my trail of evidence for a future complaint. She is a bully, there is no other option than to face her down - unless you would prefer to leave.

If she won’t agree, she would still get a ‘to confirm our discussion’ email along the lines if ‘you feel you need to make sure you have proof as you believe I lie to you’ and ‘despite my request to raise things with me you believe the most appropriate method of querying something with me, before speaking to me, is to make the request by email copying in the whole team’ etc etc - basically whatever she said. Then that complaint would be forthcoming pretty soon.

Thanks, that's very reasonable.

Its difficult because if I leave here, I only really have her and one other person that I can use for a reference. The second person is nice to me, but she would definitely be influenced by the first woman if the first woman told the second woman to give me a bad reference. People are a bit scared of the first woman.

Anyone that thinks people dont give bad references, I saw a woman on instagram who was applying for new jobs and she found out from the agency that her current boss was giving her bad references, because she didnt like her. Even though she had been good at the job

Me and one of my other team members already met with my boss and asked her can we have some more positive feedback, that we feel like her negative feedback is too high. It hasnt really changed anything.

Relationships with bad bosses are so difficult becuase they have more power. We cant really stand up to them like we can to other people. Im always worrying - how much can I stand up to her, before she gives me a bad reference.

If we stay we get abused, if we do stand up to them, we could lose a reference, and people depend on references to get another job and to survive.

Im sure we have all experienced this. Its sad. I like my job and its hard to find a job like this in the area. I think i wont argur back this time, even though believe me i want to. I think ill just try and grey rock her and just say yes this is what happened this day. This is what happened the next day.

@Appleday11 I am pretty sure they can’t give you a negative reference, it has to based on facts. I always ask HR to write a reference eg dates worked rather than from the boss.

Look here for more info from the govt website on references:https://www.gov.uk/work-reference

Thanks for that.

Not everyone has a Hr department.

We dont have a HR department at all in my current job.

This

Thanks for your response . What woud your advice be when I tell you that I dont have an HR department.

My workplace does not have one. We dont have a HR person. Nothing

I am not sure what you do but most of the references seem to be between what dates did this person work here and what was job role. Obviously, it would be different for some jobs, eg a teacher.

You can control the narrative around references if it’s more than dates/role type ones. You can be honest, without badmouthing your manager, about potential bad reference. Or you can ask the other person mentioned in your post to provide a basic reference (dates/role) instead. Or ask a colleague you get on with. You can make sure your other references are stellar.

The possibility of a bad reference should not stop you from seeking a new role.

Who does the HR tasks?

Presumably payroll dealt with by finance and everything else ignored

God, I would be so tempted to be snarky.

Dear boss,

Task was completed on time but checklist missed, and I updated it as soon as I remembered. Can you justify what the rationale was for cc'ing five people into this email?

Sounds like some of the cunts I work with. Except they’re more direct - “why didn’t you do this?” - and make you feel like you’ve committed a crime for the smallest mistake.

I am plotting to my way out (a bit complicated because I’m an expat on a non-transferable visa…). If you can leave, do it.

Pretty bloody bad! What's the rest of the set up? If looking for another job is not practicable could you ask to be moved sideways (for whatever reason sounds plausible) so that you have a different line manager? Failing that, I'd be logging all your interactions with her plus objective evidence of your overall performance with a view to taking it to HR.

Just seen there is no HR - you really need to plan your exit!