How do you manage childcare?

[Glitterballofdreams]

I have changed job and am going from night shifts where I was available for my children each day, for school holidays, school runs etc. and am about to take day shifts.

How do you all cope with child care please? We have no family support. I have enquired with some childcare providers but this is so expensive in comparison to my earnings.

Childcare is a minefield I haven’t had to explore until now and I feel so lost.

Perhaps a nanny could be cheaper and more flexible than nursery/play schemes?

How old are the children involved? School or nursery? Same school?

How many children, how old, will you be working 5 days? 9-5? Or fewer days/different days or shifts?
You say 'we', so you have a partner/DH? What hours does he work? What flexibility is there from his job?
Do either of you WFH or have long commutes?
When applying for the new job/hours what were your plans for childcare?

It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, especially when you’ve never had to navigate childcare before and don’t have family support. Try looking into breakfast or after-school clubs, as they’re often cheaper than full-time care, and consider local childminders who can be more affordable than nurseries. You could also explore childcare support schemes or arrange school run swaps with other parents. Take it one step at a time.

Are you saying that you used to do a night shift, then look after your kids all day? When did you sleep?

highly unlikely. More flexible, sure, but absolutely not cheaper.

what age are your children OP? Most working people qualify for 30 funded hours at nursery/childminder now for under 5s, and also tax free childcare which saves you 20% on whatever the rest of the bill is. You can also claim TFC for school wrap around.

Yes I did this for three years whilst my youngest was ant home with my, this was ok until i suffered burnout. (I only did 3 night shifts per week) I took a few months off to recover and this is why I have had to change hours, for my health. My youngest is now in school.

3 Children are school age, one in high school. Neither of us will wfh. My husband is unable to assist due to his schedule and commute.
My commute is very short. I will be doing 3 full days 9-6.
I have asked school about breakfast club, as it’s half term I won’t get a response until next week.

This is why I work nights because it will be too hard to sort out Childcare before school after school and school holiday holidays - and I want to be around to do those things

Especially as I’m now a single parent, so they all come down to me

Our schools before after school, Club is fully booked or the childminders near me are fully booked - I’m not sure what the answer is for daytime

Either you pay for CHILDCARE, which could wipe out your earnings - Or you consider going back tonights

Why are you so burnt out on three nights and all kids at school?

I admit it was hard and tiring when many blondes was a toddler and I would nap one till three when she did - But now all yours are at school I don’t get the burnout ( sorry)

I do three nights a week alternate nights Sunday Tuesday Thursday I sleep at 8:45 /9 am on Monday Wednesday Friday

It seems to be all on you op, why isn’t your husband sharing this problem?
I feel so sorry for you, and am not remotely surprised you suffered burn out after working all day and night. I think I would have lasted 3 days max not 3 years.

Your options are.

1. breakfast and after school club for the primary children. High schooler sorts themselves.
2. after school nanny/childminder as it seems you can drop on way to work
3. your husband asks for flexible working so that he can start earlier and finish earlier (it seems from your posts it’s somewhat his turn to make the compromises for his children)?

school holidays you will both need to take your annual separately to cover some of it, holidays clubs for the rest but these are often unfortunately only school hours

I would look after my children all day (my eldest is disabled and requires a lot of support. And my youngest was 1 when I began nights, they only started school this year) then go to work 5.45pm-6am, travel home, shower, then straight back into mum mode making breakfasts and taking the elder ones to school. Then I still had my youngest at home all day. So staying awake 3 full days and nights a week really took its toll on my physical health. The role was also dealing with high risk complex situations and this also drained me.

Thank you this is really helpful. My husband has already agreed he will have to adjust his hours to help with the school runs etc. it’s just trying to get it all sorted now.
School holidays maybe we can find a holiday club or something.

@Blondeshavemorefuni think you misread - for 3 YEARS when her youngest was not in school, she was working nights, then looking after her toddler all day. OF COURSE that would burn anyone out. It’s possibly doable if your kids are all in school, so you can sleep 9am to 3pm, but not sure what you’d do in the 13 weeks school holidays.

My before school club starts at 7:30 normally drop off at 7:45am. Then after school club runs until 6pm. My husband picks up around 5:30pm. This is for only two days a week.

holidays are a bit of a pain. February, May and October we have to juggle between grandparents, friends and 9-3pm holiday clubs as the long day ones don’t operate. Easter and the first four weeks of the summer holidays they do 8-6pm at holiday clubs two days a week. I work 4 days but 2 wfh (1 wfh day grandparents are here to help, 1 wfh day they go to school and then with me or 9-3pm holiday club)

Thank you. Our school doesn’t offer after school clubs unfortunately

Sorry I meant why burn one now as you can sleep as all at school

I totally get it when they were younger
school holidays kill me esp summer hols and 6w but I have one and she’s very good and I will say I need to sleep 7-9am then we can go out etc - play then the following night I’m not at work so own bed and 9pm if need be 😴😴😴😴

seems you have done the hardest bit while not at school. It will be easier now they are and you can sleep at 9am

Yes same as I did

it’s hard when a toddler / well from ml to 4:5 and school

but now it’s easier as at school

We had a nanny for three young children. Nearly bankrupted us. Then when older used wraparound school care and flexible working/ work from home wherever possible. It’s a nightmare isn’t it.

The only thing we could do was rely on childcare, thankfully our schools had after school clubs, if they didn’t frankly the only thing we could have done was move to one that did. For some reason our area just doesn’t have childminders doing school runs, so we were entirely reliant on school clubs.

If you or your husband can adjust your start time, so you can take your DC to school at the "normal" time, that only leaves you needing after school and holiday care.

I'd suggest asking the school and other parents what they use for after school childcare. It's highly unlikely you will be the only family with 2 working parents without extended family help.

Another option, since you only work 3 days a week, is to "child swap" with another family in a similar situation i.e. they have their children on 1 or 2 days that you are working, and you in turn look after their children when they are working and you are not. This is particularly useful in holidays as it can minimise the amount of holiday clubs you need to find.