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I'm trying not to care but I do...

24 replies

Rockstick · 17/02/2026 00:08

I took some minutes for a long and complicated meeting, lots of legal jargon that I'm not used to. It's not usually my job, but I agreed to do it because the usual clerk couldn't, and the meeting couldn't be postponed because of statutory deadlines.

So, I sat in the four hour meeting, took the notes and wrote them up the next day. None of this forms part of what I usually do, everyone involved knew that, that I'd basically stepped up because no one else would, and I was likely to need some support before the minutes would be "finished". I was asked to send them to the Chair and two other trustees for overview. Which I did.

Only one came back with a couple of minor tweaks, all three thanked me for the attention to detail, and various similar compliments.

Then my boss came back from leave and has has torn them apart, and given me a written telling off because they were "rushed" with some formatting errors. I'd been inconsistent with a capital letter on a word that is sometimes capitalised and sometimes not, and I'd used someone's full name in some places and initials in another, although there was a reason for that which made sense to me, but I know now wasn't correct.

I don't mind her pointing out the errors. I do mind her telling me off after I'd made a decent attempt at something new to me, when they were desperate!

OP posts:
Elfie23 · 17/02/2026 04:34

I’d remind your boss this is not on your job description and you went above and beyond your duties to try and help out when no one else would. You’d saved them from fines for not missing a statutory deadline and if it’s not good enough maybe they can cancel their annual leave next time?

I work in LA (sounds like you do too) and regularly have to stand up for myself. This includes saying no and ‘fighting back’ against my boss at times. The last manager had the piss taken out of her and I’m determined that won’t happen to me x

Elfie23 · 17/02/2026 04:35

Oh and get that warning taken off your file too! Speak to HR x

Aabbcc1235 · 17/02/2026 06:29

I’d leave it be for now, and next time it comes up I would stand my ground and absolutely refuse to do minutes on the basis that your boss thought that you didn’t do a good job last time.

Egglio · 17/02/2026 06:37

I agree with @Aabbcc1235 . This is one of those situations where you let your manager fuck around and find out. You treat it as a learning experience for you - that if you try to help your manager by going above and beyond, she will treat you like this, so you don't go above and beyond for her. You keep your composure, you aren't actively rebellious, but you note it and act accordingly, being assertive if needed.

sorrynotathome · 17/02/2026 07:03

Have you really had a written warning? Surely it’s just that your boss has ticked you off via email rather than verbally? A written warning is rarely the first step in a disciplinary process.

Rockstick · 17/02/2026 07:26

sorrynotathome · 17/02/2026 07:03

Have you really had a written warning? Surely it’s just that your boss has ticked you off via email rather than verbally? A written warning is rarely the first step in a disciplinary process.

I didn't say I'd had a written warning, but she's written about how disappointing it was in my appraisal, which coincidently was the same week.

OP posts:
Gloriousgardener11 · 17/02/2026 07:34

No good deed ever goes unpunished as they say!
Its not something she should mention in your appraisal if it’s not part of your normal responsibilities either.
Decline their kind invitation in future and let them get on with it.
Sorry you have received such unkind treatment from her, maybe her leave wasn’t great.

Harrietsaunt · 17/02/2026 07:37

Just decline next time, saying manager isn’t happy with how you approach the task.

toingandfroing · 17/02/2026 07:41

Only in public sector there is so much time spent on polishing the minutes. I really wish tax payers money was spent on better things than multiple minutes reviews, reformatting and criticising staff for not doing good enough job.
I'm sorry you had that exerience.

Rockstick · 17/02/2026 07:47

toingandfroing · 17/02/2026 07:41

Only in public sector there is so much time spent on polishing the minutes. I really wish tax payers money was spent on better things than multiple minutes reviews, reformatting and criticising staff for not doing good enough job.
I'm sorry you had that exerience.

That's an excellent point. I've worked for others who can be picky on such things, but this woman is something else. Three senior, intelligent people, with years of experience had seen them, not only without issue, but had gone out of their way to say nice things. Then apparently they were so poor as to be embarrassing to publish. Until she got back I was feeling quite pleased with myself over a job well done.

I have to respond to the appraisal comments, and I'm tempted to say I'm disappointed myself...

OP posts:
ThatGladTiger · 17/02/2026 07:52

I had a chair like this. Comments from others with a typo here and there, then got hers back and she had red lined everything. Over the years I realised that was just her style (which wasn’t great) and she just couldn’t let anything go.

Your boss is probably the same with the usual minute writer. Maybe speak to them and see what their experiences are?

It’s really shitty how she spoke to you, but if you can try and move on. It’s not worth blowing anything up over this. Pick your battles x

Happytaytos · 17/02/2026 07:57

Rockstick · 17/02/2026 07:47

That's an excellent point. I've worked for others who can be picky on such things, but this woman is something else. Three senior, intelligent people, with years of experience had seen them, not only without issue, but had gone out of their way to say nice things. Then apparently they were so poor as to be embarrassing to publish. Until she got back I was feeling quite pleased with myself over a job well done.

I have to respond to the appraisal comments, and I'm tempted to say I'm disappointed myself...

Reply that you're disappointed with the feedback considering you stepped in last minute and without your actions a statutory deadline wouldn't have been met.

Rockstick · 17/02/2026 08:03

ThatGladTiger · 17/02/2026 07:52

I had a chair like this. Comments from others with a typo here and there, then got hers back and she had red lined everything. Over the years I realised that was just her style (which wasn’t great) and she just couldn’t let anything go.

Your boss is probably the same with the usual minute writer. Maybe speak to them and see what their experiences are?

It’s really shitty how she spoke to you, but if you can try and move on. It’s not worth blowing anything up over this. Pick your battles x

Edited

She is the same with everyone. Hours and hours are spent "correcting" things (not only minutes) that most people can see nothing wrong with.

OP posts:
Conxis · 17/02/2026 08:04

So if this is part of an appraisal you need to get this written in a learning need. State you stepped in to help out with something that is not part of your job and, as your manager did not think it was done to a good enough standard, this needs addressed if she would want you to do this again. Get it out there in writing it is not usually part of your job and get her to identify the steps she can take to bring you up to the required standard if she would wish you to step up again to help out

ThatGladTiger · 17/02/2026 08:08

Rockstick · 17/02/2026 08:03

She is the same with everyone. Hours and hours are spent "correcting" things (not only minutes) that most people can see nothing wrong with.

It’s so annoying! I got to the point that I would
make less effort with minutes/papers sent to this person as they would just rewrite it anyway! Then I’d accept the changes and send it to the others 🫢

You won’t change them, it’s not right but try and move on! At least they are the same with everyone!

rookiemere · 17/02/2026 08:16

Rockstick · 17/02/2026 07:47

That's an excellent point. I've worked for others who can be picky on such things, but this woman is something else. Three senior, intelligent people, with years of experience had seen them, not only without issue, but had gone out of their way to say nice things. Then apparently they were so poor as to be embarrassing to publish. Until she got back I was feeling quite pleased with myself over a job well done.

I have to respond to the appraisal comments, and I'm tempted to say I'm disappointed myself...

I would definitely comment on your appraisal, you can say what you said here about this not being your role and stepping in to help out and directly quote the thanks and responses from the other senior people. I would also state that you are disappointed that this has been mentioned in your appraisal as it’s not within the objectives of your role.
If you are in a union I would be tempted to get guidance from them, particularly if appraisals are linked to raises or bonuses.

KiwiCat01 · 17/02/2026 08:22

rookiemere · 17/02/2026 08:16

I would definitely comment on your appraisal, you can say what you said here about this not being your role and stepping in to help out and directly quote the thanks and responses from the other senior people. I would also state that you are disappointed that this has been mentioned in your appraisal as it’s not within the objectives of your role.
If you are in a union I would be tempted to get guidance from them, particularly if appraisals are linked to raises or bonuses.

This poster is completely correct with what you should do. Do not just ignore when linked to appraisal.

Shedmistress · 17/02/2026 09:19

I'd respond with a comment about being disappointed at being so berated for such minor details after having stepped in to assist when this was not part of my actual job role; and after having asked 3 senior people for their feedback and I'd copy in the 3 comments that I had received and request a review of my 'unofficial not through the proper disciplinary route written warning'.

KateCroy · 17/02/2026 09:23

Happytaytos · 17/02/2026 07:57

Reply that you're disappointed with the feedback considering you stepped in last minute and without your actions a statutory deadline wouldn't have been met.

Exactly this.

FictionalCharacter · 17/02/2026 09:29

Shedmistress · 17/02/2026 09:19

I'd respond with a comment about being disappointed at being so berated for such minor details after having stepped in to assist when this was not part of my actual job role; and after having asked 3 senior people for their feedback and I'd copy in the 3 comments that I had received and request a review of my 'unofficial not through the proper disciplinary route written warning'.

I agree. Ignoring this and just moving on encourages the manager to carry on behaving like this. You didn’t do anything wrong and were praised by others, so you have every right to stand up for yourself.

Rainbow1901 · 17/02/2026 09:29

Definitely feedback on your appraisal that this is not part of your actual job criteria and that you had stepped in to help when requested. However if this is likely to occur in future then further training will be needed.
Having addressed this issue can she now appraise you on work that is within your work criteria.

dizzydizzydizzy · 17/02/2026 09:39

Elfie23 · 17/02/2026 04:34

I’d remind your boss this is not on your job description and you went above and beyond your duties to try and help out when no one else would. You’d saved them from fines for not missing a statutory deadline and if it’s not good enough maybe they can cancel their annual leave next time?

I work in LA (sounds like you do too) and regularly have to stand up for myself. This includes saying no and ‘fighting back’ against my boss at times. The last manager had the piss taken out of her and I’m determined that won’t happen to me x

Agree with this. I’m wondering if your boss actually feels threatened by you. I would reply to her email to set the record straight.

Dear Boss

I am disappointed to hear that you feel that the minutes I did for xyz committee are not up to standard. While I accept your corrections, please remember that I did this because nobody else was willing to step up and I recognized the importance of meeting the statutory deadline . By doing this I have saved [organization name ] [£x or or y legal difficulty]. As you know I have no training or expertise in the work of this committee. The committee itself was satisfied with my work.

Geogaddi · 17/02/2026 19:30

How about this response.

Thank you for notifying me of these errors. Perhaps, moving forward, we can implement the following measures to enhance our future performance.

A - Allow me to take relevant training in taking notes so I can effectively cover staff absences at short notice.
B - Don't ask me to cover other staff members in the future.

Andsoitbeganagain · 17/02/2026 19:40

Next time they ask you to step up for no reward and no thanks, stand back. It's the only way.

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