Can no longer do work travel - now what?

[CarryMeHome56]

I have a good career, I have reached a comfortable salary and mostly enjoy what I do, I appreciate how lucky I am.

However, the kind of job I do always requires some level of work travel (2-3 nights at a time).

In my current job, I travel about 4 or 5 times a year which is really as little as it gets. I have been looking around for other opportunities (as I think redundancy is looming in a few months) and they all require a lot more travel (sometimes job spec even says up to 50%!).

Unfortunately I just don't want to do the travelling anymore, I am finding it increasingly hard to cope. I developed anxiety and contamination OCD after DC were born and it makes travelling horrendous. It has gotten out of control and is absolutely exhausting.

I also just don't want to be away from DC. Everyone ultimately manages, but I much prefer being with them. DH said that DS (4) took a picture of me to bed and sobbed when I was away last time. He is usually a happy and resilient little thing so that was a surprise.

I feel stuck - the only jobs I can get and am experienced for require travelling so what will I do when I lose my current job?

I am the main earner so I feel a huge pressure too, I can't just give up or do something totally different/lower paid.

It is probably my anxiety talking but I feel like I am going to be jobless in a couple of months and our options will be having no money, or taking a job that requires constant travelling. I am not qualified for anything else, and panicking.

I don't think there is any answer to be honest, but maybe someone has an idea!

You don’t say how old you are but I started HRT at 43 as I’d spent the two years prior to it feeling crap. Our hormones have a lot to answer for.,HRT is not a magic bullet but can help along with other therapy if your anxiety is taking over.

I’m in the same situation. An understanding line manager (has kids with special needs as well), and most importantly a counterpart who loves travelling is my solution.
My counterpart and I basically share two full time jobs - just that he takes over the travelling bit, and I take over some bits he dislikes. on paper we work for different product categories, in reality we both cover both, which works very well for holidays and illnesses as well - win/win.

Just wanted to send a note on the OCD as I’ve had it for many years (including contamination OCD) alongside anxiety. The things that have personally helped me over the years are cognitive behavioural therapy, a low dose of setraline, breathing techniques and exercise. It hasn’t disappeared but it’s much more manageable. I also find that travel is more stressful for me because I’m out of my routine, my kitchen where things are clean etc so it can be challenging and I do empathise. But I just wanted to say that there are great tools out there that can help and I’d really encourage you to speak to your doctor for professional advice. Even if it feels more manageable day to day and is triggered more by travel, it’s definitely worth getting support for.

I also think it’s always easier to make decisions about work or big life things too when other areas feel more manageable! (Though I think it’s totally fair that 50 percent more travel would be too much for a lot of people especially those with kids. Sounds like a more hybrid role would definitely help.) Hope you can can find a better solution work-wise. Just make sure to prioritise you xx

I hated travelling once I had kids. I remember I used to take my husband and son with me initially and they'd have a lovely few days sightseeing and I'd have my little family waiting for me every night

I am 41, I do wonder if it may have something to do with it!

That sounds like an ideal scenario. I must say I read these job descriptions asking for 50% travel and think "who would want to do that???", but I guess I did when I was younger. I used to jump at the chance of a work paid trip. Different seasons of life I suppose.

@CarryMeHome56 my counterpart is a guy in his 50s ;) Between both of our roles, travel is above 50%. he has no kids, loves travelling. Works a treat for both of us!

It's mostly divorced men in my industry who keep up the travel!