Is it risky to get signed off work with stress or depression?

[Workquery1]

Previously diagnosed with ASD and depression. Declared ASD at work but I’ve not asked for ASD reasonable adjustments because not even sure what would be allowed. Never mentioned I have depression as worry about stigma

Recently depression has badly flared due to stressors at my job. I don’t have energy to shower daily or do basic self care. Bad IBS and insomnia too.

I cannot risk losing my job though especially with the current job market

Received good performance review but because of this manager continues to throw more workload including responsibility that is above my job ‘grade’. I’m regularly tearful because of the amount of pressure and workload is tough to keep up with. I tried so hard to politely decline the offer to take on extra responsibility due to workload and a knowledge gap but it was still forced on me. Now I’m soo stressed I will forget to eat three meals a day, no energy to do anything after work, fall asleep without brushing my teeth, and the constant dread of work the next morning. I’m scared I’ve forgotten to do something at work due to my brain being overwhelmed and I’ll get in trouble, be the ‘scapegoat’

There is also lots micromanaging, if you slightly overran on your lunch break or showed away for too long on teams, the manager will come for you.

This extra project I’ve taken on I’m pretty sure I’ve made plenty of mistakes and I’m just so scared what will happen. But I’m a junior grade and I never volunteered to be given this responsibility.

I’m really struggling to cope lately and having intrusive thoughts to be free from work (eg dreaming of walking on tube tracks before work or stepping into road).

Is it too risky if I get signed off work with depression? I’m public sector FS but not civil service if that makes a difference. I worry it may be seen as an ‘excuse’ or it may jeopardise my career (finding job market impossible so very grateful I at least have a job)

Well it doesn't sound as though you have much choice in the matter from what you've said.

Just do what's necessary for now.

thanks for your comment, as much as I’m struggling I cannot risk losing my job. I have ASD and I find interviews harder than the average person, not to mention job market is awful.

Do you think depression will be taken seriously by management? I am scared to task a rash decision and make things even worse in the long term

I would just be honest about it. It’s work related stress and it isn’t your fault. I don’t think the nature of your illness will be revealed in a future reference, it’s confidential, although it is a red flag if you’ve had loads of sickness.

This is clearly a case of you being pushed too hard beyond the grade and I wonder if you can escalate to a higher manager that this doesn’t work for you and is not what you’re being paid for. If you can clearly demonstrate it’s not in your job description then you have a good argument.

If you could find one, would you seriously consider doing a less stressful job? If finances allowed.

Health must come first and you are unwell. Please see a GP and get signed off. I was in the same situation and had dreams similar and it’s horrendous. It’s not even thoughts it’s subconscious. Mine was falling from a bridge. Take as much time as you need as public sector probably has a good sickness policy. Ask for the GP to not write work related stress on the sick note. Make it clear you are concerned it will jeapordise your employment. Have a recovery plan. Two weeks at home sleeping and recovering. Then some gentle walks /activities like shops.

Yes I would, my previous role paid slightly more but with far less stress and less micromanaging.

I am struggling to find a new job but then my head is pretty overwhelmed with things so sometimes I’m not quick enough to apply for jobs, or other days I’m too exhausted to apply at all.
I’ve been applying for jobs for well over a year but job market is not great which has flared depression more as can’t seem to escape

So sorry to hear this. The constant stress and anxiety isn’t going to help your conditions in the long term is it. I hope you find something more manageable soon.

Do you have access to work coaching? I have felt similar in the past and we have a network of coaching & mentors. It really helped me strip out the emotion & look at the tasks & work demands talking it through with someone who was not my mgr. They were the issue! I found it really powerful way to manage my to do list & push back when it was overwhelming plus gave me the confidence to more sideways into another role. I was later replaced by two people in my old role as it was just too big.

I hope that as a PS worker you are a member of a union. Get in touch with your union for support. There is no reason why you shouldn't take time off for work-related stress, if your GP thinks it appropriate.
Then ask for a Occupational Health referral before returning to work, discuss reasonable adjustments with the health professional there. They will have lots of experience of what your employer can accommodate to help you.

Last time I took sick leave (2 days) was due to bad infection in September. I do agree that it may be a red flag having too much sick leave

Would 10 days in a year be too much?

also seeing as I’m public sector currently, if I were to move to another public sector or civil service job would they perhaps be less strict about this

I think option 1 is to try and push back on the work levels and micromanaging. However, if that's not an option/wouldn't make any difference/would just cause more stress, I would get signed off. But I would go into this time away with the mindset that you won't ever be returning to that job. So you use the time to recover and reset first, then start focusing on finding a new role.

I do understand how the overwhelm builds & is worse when your ND. Can you take a week sick leave self cert to help reset. Then ask for occupational health referral and at least it’s documented. The CS is pretty good about providing support, plus then try find a work coach to help you develop ways to manage pushing back on too much work or prioritising demands. Or just hyper focus on job searching and not stressing on the current job as much

Are you capable of doing the job they employ you to do?

I honestly think you’re going about this wrong - and I know because I have been you in the past! (Well without the ASD)

Here is the important bit - you will be good at lots of jobs. The second you get good you’ll be pushed harder. That’s how you progress. Sometimes the pace and stretch is too much - and then it’s YOUR job to push back and say “this is too much, manager - I can’t get x y and z done. Which one is the priority and can you take the other bits back off me so I can cope with the workload.”

If your manager is any good they will carry on pushing you a bit because working a bit past your comfort zone teaches you higher skills, but pushing you to the point that your mental health is really suffering is counter productive

Honestly? It always is a bit of a risk with any mental health issues very unfortunately, BUT you have to prioritise your mental health,OP. You can only do what you really feel is best for you at the present time.

Hope things seem a bit brighter soon. 🙏

I’m already putting my all into job hunting, genuinely obsessed with it. It’s very common I’ll spend all evening at home applying for jobs, no time for gym, TV or cooking it’s not a priority. My eyes go blurry from concentrating on screen, and often will fall asleep in same place from exhaustion before having time to get ready for bed.

I appreciate having the mindset of never returning to my existing job, but then still scared about the fact that if I’ve been signed off for a week it will come up on my reference and prevent me getting a new job offer. I don’t know how risky it is as I don’t work in HR

I’n already finding it hard enough finding a job now, what happens when I have additional baggage of being signed off

I’ve had interviews with five companies so far this year, all but one ghosted me. Two companies I had even got to final stage but then still ghosted me

Honestly I’d take sick leave and get out. U have marketable skills. Some Public sector FS are toxic - awful people and underfunded. You’re getting interviews so with more time to prep you’d likely get lucky. Do not make yourself more unwell. It’s a slippery slope.

Thanks I’d like to think I’m hyper focused on job hunting, so many tailored applications, and I speak to ChatGPT daily for different strategies for the job hunt.

Reached out to kind MNetters for tips relating to their role/industry too.

I really wish I could stop stressing about current role but the worry just doesn’t stop I’m regularly tearful and even can feel sick to my stomach. Sometimes I may forget to eat meals because I’m so worried about pressures from my job

I don’t work in CS but have been applying to them, think competition is extreme though

Thanks and I agree about toxic environment. My biggest priority is getting out of here and finding a new job.

I still worry taking sick leave may then ruin my chances of finding a new job, a company could withdraw job offer if find out about absences. I took two days off in September due to infection

Although I got interviews, only two I got to final stage and I was ultimately ghosted from both.

Take a day off to reset then approach HR about an occupational health referral. They will go through the challenges with you and they carry a lot of weight in getting your employer to make reasonable adjustments. It helps if you can have a think about what that might look like. For example it might be helpful for your manager to sit with you once a week to review and prioritise your tasks. It's also an opportunity to say how stressful you find being given tasks beyond your skillset without adequate support.
That way you can give your employer your best work while maintaining your own wellbeing while you look for something better.

You will be safe for a few weeks if you are signed off. But can you cope with the sighs and side eyes when you eventually go back?

Right @Workquery1 I am HR. Quasi public sector.

Clearly you are good at what you do otherwise you wouldn't have been given additional responsibility.

Please speak to your manager and be honest. Explain your neuro-divergence, that you are struggling at present and generally suffering from very low mood. Be honest that you need a week, or two or what your dr feels is appropriate, away to rest and recharge and recover, that you would like an OH referral and when you get back in a week or two you need a stress risk assessment and a well being plan put in place. Explain you are committed and want to work with your manager to make this work.

Meanwhile, if there is an EAP scheme, engage with it for quick access therapeutic support whilst something longer term is put in place through your GP. I'd also recommend you contact Access to Work or Able Futures for additional suppprt. There is likely coaching, mentoring or practical support available through them and dpending on your needs, that could include some budget for admin support.

Where I work, this approach would gain you respect rather than be held against you. Please be aware that if a reference request asks about sickness absence unless your employer has a published commotment to providing only basic information, they will have to answer the question, but there is supportive wording that can be given for a respected employee who has been straightforward and worked with us.

With the right support, the present job may get much better. Without it it may all happen agaon elsewhere and changing jobs is stressful.

Share rather than carry all the burden and best of luck to you. With love.

My bigger worry is if taking the sick leave will then jeopardise chances of landing new role

I think I could cope with the side eyes upon my return as trying to put my all into finding new role so would think of it as temporary pain. (I just don’t know how risky it will be / how harmful it will be for future prospects to get signed off)

in an ideal world it would not be taken into account when considering you for future opportunities.

but people are horrible spiritually undeveloped husks who love to judge others

@RosesAndHellebores thank you, you seem lovely and I don’t know how to phrase this without sounding awfully rude (not my intention!) but I think sometimes some HR workers can be detached from the harsh realities other workers may face.

My company is well known, public sector, and disability confident on paper. Company claims to care about so many good causes but still some teams have very toxic environments, bullying culture, poor reward and people are too scared to speak out. A MNetter even DMed me correctly guessing the company due to knowing of toxicity here.

It’s not acceptable to ask for more training/support with a task, even tasks we’ve not done before. I’m in a low paid junior role forced to pick up tasks above my job scale. I can’t flat out say no to it but even if I politely say I don’t think I’m the right person to pick up xyz due to gaps in knowledge, they don’t care and then are gleefully waiting to blame me for things. The bullies will shame and scapegoat the person who asks for help, make it seem like that person is difficult and incompetent, talk very negatively about them behind their back.

Others in my team are also unhappy and actively looking for new roles (lack of internal vacancies at our scale, and tough job market) but many will suck up to the bullies to ‘survive’ as they’re scared of being next target.

If I raise a concern about workload and lack of support with tasks to line manager (lm is in different team), the first thing they’ll do is speak to my team leader and the other bad colleague who are the cruel bullies. I’m pretty scared of the outcome tbh

They are extremely defensive, more senior than me and have been in company for over 10 years so know how to protect their tracks. Worse still, I know someone tried to raise concerns with unfair team leader but sadly other managers sided with whatever lies the bullies told. The brave person then sadly got targeted more.

What chance do I have as an autistic junior, no one will believe what I have to say, the bullies are far better at lying/manipulating. I’ll likely become scapegoat and the actual bullies will be seen as the real victims

My mental health has already suffered, I don’t think I’ll cope with even worse treatment and not being believed. I’m also scared that HR may put this grievance/incident on my reference or something which will make me a red flag to future employers