My part time job and toxic employers - help 😬

[Cherryblossom200]

Hello,

I’m a full time single parent, I have an 11 year old who has additional needs. I’ve always worked full time, but need the flexibility to be able to look after my child. I’ve always managed this, but as her needs have grown and I need to take her to hospital appointments I’ve had to look at working part time until she goes to secondary school later this year. My last role almost broke me due to the stress of balancing it all.

I decided to take a part time role, it’s two days a week (15 hours a week) which I do over 3 days to allow for school drop offs. It’s an operational role within a very small agency with a husband and wife team who run it. There’s only a few of us in the office. I have a huge wealth of experience in project management so this is a step down but I took it to allow me time to breath, leave work in the office and be a mum and not be so burnt out.

At the beginning it was really nice, I enjoyed the variety of the job but overtime I realised that they expect a full time role out of a part timer.

I’ve noticed that there is a pattern with how they treat people, the last person left before their probation period. She was crying every day due to being overworked. So she left, now the same thing is happening with the new person.

In my two days a week they fill it with pointless meetings. Or I end up firefighting things like dealing with broken laptops etc so I can’t get on with my real work. If no one else in the office can do something they ask me to do it, so my list is endless and my core work gets pushed to the back. I’ve tried asking them what the priorities should be and their response is they don’t want me to ask them, I should just get on with it.

I’ve had a couple of meetings with them highlighting that I’m having to wear a lot of hats (I’m finance, HR, IT, help with web design and the list goes on) btw I’m not even trained in HR, they just dump the stuff on me 🤣 Today they said they were disappointed in me that I hadn’t done a lot of the things that they’ve asked me to do, but I simply have no time to do it. When I highlighted I’m struggling to fit in the amount of work into two days, they said I do 3 days (I don’t, I do 2) but in their head because I work across 3 days I should be doing 3 days worth of work.

The workplace is reactive, chaotic and a mess.

They don’t listen and don’t seem to realise they are the problem.

I want to work either part time or maybe freelance? Any ideas, this situation isn’t working. I realise that I work best remotely as I’m more productive at home.

I don’t know how much longer I can work there but I currently don’t have any other options 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’d start looking for a new job sharpish. It’s not going to get any better by the sound of it. I work part-time and I had a boss like this once and it didn’t get any better. Fortunately he left before I did and the new boss is much more reasonable! That’s not going to happen in your case if they own the company. I think you’ll have to push back more and say, “well I can’t do ABC (fix laptop or other non-core task) if you want me to do XYZ” (core task in your job spec.) They won’t like it, but if you’re doing so much other stuff hopefully they won’t get rid of you before you find a better job.

Thanks. It’s draining isn’t it, I don’t feel like I can win with these people - they just don’t get it.

Sadly anyone can become an employer!

Yep agree its time for a new job hunt.
Have you reached out to any contacts who may need or know of short term cover or someone to do overflow?

As for the current job you need to work out times needed for each task and block out a calander.
Can you get a free planner softwear which will allow you do a to-do-list that flows into a visual which can be stuck on your desk/wall so its very clear what you are going planning to be working on?

That way if something overruns or is pushed down as a more vital task is needed it obvious to all.

I’m honestly so busy that there is no time to impose any way to plan, on a daily basis I’m just thrown into things consistently 🤣

I’ve only been there for a few months so I’m worried how this might look on my cv!

With bosses like that you need to have a control list.

You will be blamed because they want you to be producing all the work but they are not willing to take responsibility for ranking the tasks in order of importance.

That is classic set-up to fail.

As for the short term you can be honest with the next employer 😉
They needed someone who could do more hours and you could only do the agreed hours

Thank you! This is 100% an issue on their side. But they have a way of making me feel I’m incompetent. They have almost said this, they have said that ‘they employed me because I’ve been around the block a few times (I’m 50) and I have a lot of experience 🤣 so inadvertently they are saying I’m underdelivering. I’m actually laughing that they even say this and think it’s ok.

You know why the last person left

They keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome 👀🙄

Having a list/ work schedule also allows you to push back on the time wasting meetings etc and ring fence what you can be asked to do🤞

Sorry to say it, but this is how most of my part-time jobs have ended up (I've been 3 days in small setups, and jobshares based on a fortnightly pattern in larger ones, and both have gone that way). I have said exactly this - 'That is classic set-up to fail' on a number of occasions. Bank holiday weeks are also a nightmare as you just lose another day, one way or another.

The point about having to wear a lot of hats - you're operational, but they don't have the experience or capacity in most of their activity so this is the way they have tried to throw it into your role description. They also, I would expect, do not understand the actual time any of that takes, nor the constraints of the tech demands that apply to everything, and as long as 'you're ok with it', that is where attention to these things stops.

I can only say get something else, and ideally, full time even if flexible. Or there's term time only in some schools or universities if that would work. Then at least the work/ pay balance is more realistic.

Thanks Ormally! Yep the set up to fail is exactly how I feel and you’ve summed it up perfectly.

I am thinking of full time with flexibility to avoid this happening again. I’m even considering freelancing. But I don’t know where I start with this one! x

Honestly, it's worth it, and although full time is hard with kids, a weight comes off your shoulders in other ways.

This sounds very like the place I work albeit I am a remote worker and not a single parent. Its chaotic and they don't listen either. Its a full time job on part time hours and I'm struggling to find any other role as the job market is so shit.

I honestly won’t work for a small husband and wife team ever again because of similar issues you face, they put on you 10 fold where you would get anywhere else.
We once got a grilling because we should have felt honoured to work there. It was truly strange.