How would you deal with this work situation

[moonie70]

Find myself struggling at work due to a work colleague who is proving to be more and more difficult to deal with . For perspective some of the things they have said and done since I joined the company .
Thought id been brought in to take over their job role so I have been snapped at on numerous occasions over the course of a few years . This wasn't the case as I don't want that role anyway they had the been moved to a different role but one that
now works along side me and I'm constantly talked over , talked at and generally made to feel bad if I do something wrong . How would you feel if a colleague put your coat and hat on and did an impression of you and prorated you to be moody and miserable on the mornings , look at me I'm so and so basically taking the piss and other examples, oh you have a scar on your ear you look like your ear has been taken off and put back on , what the hell I let it slide , constant put downs , I've had Botox and filler amd today I was the but of a joke and I said please be mindful of what you say as it's gone to far , I was then told it was banter , what was said today was I've had enough Botox and filler I could be 70 and you wouldn't know , insert laughter by said person and someone I thought was a friend . I was told it was banter and from now on they wouldn't joke with me , it's been a long build up of things over the years . No one else apart from one other can see any harm in this persons behaviour she has been caught out not once but twice gossiping about other staff. Please tell me how you would of dealt with this situation

I would tell them very clearly that their constant mocking and belittling stops now or else it becomes an issue for HR as it's clearly bullying in the workplace. If it doesn't stop then get a copy of your bullying in the workplace policy, go through it and pull out examples of where their behaviour has met the criteria for bullying, then send to HR and request a meeting with them (just you and HR) to go through your concerns.

we don't have a HR dept it's an independent company sadly

Ok, guessing you're not unionised either then? There must be workplace policies though surely? And you have a line manager? Acas can help when a company doesn't have internal HR.

in all honesty I just wanted some advice as I feel like I was made to feel I was being to sensitive and it was banter , someone else's impartial advice on what was said to me today , it's awful isn't it , I'd never say anything so hurtful to work colleagues, I'm still a newbie I feel even after 2 years they have been there the longest . I think I might just look for something else

If someone is making you uncomfortable at work then the only advice is to get the necessary support from within the organisation. I work for a minuscule organisation - we have no internal HR either - but if someone was treating me with contempt I would absolutely look at all of our work policies and take the steps needed to get the situation addressed.

Yes it is awful and entirely unfair. I don't think it's right that you should have to leave, but sometimes the office politics of a place are so embedded that it just feels the least path of resistance. Even better if you can find something with more money and that fits better with your career plans.

What the colleague is doing is definitely bullying and possibly harassment. Having no Hr is no excuse, Infact by not having one the company is leaving themselves wide open to tribunals, especially by letting this behaviour slide.

Talk to your manager. Failing that, her manager. Failing that, the boss over that manager. Speak to ACAs and tell them you have done so.

Is there a line management structure in place? I would not ask them to solve this, but I would tell the colleague it has gone beyond a joke, and whether they think it is banter is beside the point, you need it to stop now. Then I would tell the manager what I had done to resolve this and that I would have to escalate the matter if it occurs again. In anything you read, it is really clear that it is not the intention of the person making the offensive comments which is the most important thing, it is how it is received by the person it is said to. Most of the time we would have to cut people some slack and maybe overlook some things but when it is as cruel as this, I would be pushing back hard.

You need to look over your works policies for relevant issues like bullying, and write down dates / times / who was witness, vaguely what was said if you can’t remember exactly, and flag up to your line manager. It’s appalling behaviour, don’t be bullied and made to feel small. Good luck

Thank you for taking the time to reply , just needed the clarification that I wasn't the one in the wrong here . I'm going to make a list of everything that's been said over the course of the 2 years and think about my options. The said person has just suffered a bereavement so most people are feeling sorry for them . I have been nothing but kind and supportive and that's the thanks I get . I fear I'll look the bad one because of the loss they have just suffered. It doesn't excuse the behaviour though . Also this person talks about how badly they were treated years ago in a different work place and had to leave so should know better. I'm drained at the end of the working day as this person constantly moans about everything and anything from every ailment they have to things not being done the right way . I'm exhausted. I look forward to the days there not in I feel lighter and happier on those days