Would I be mad to turn down the promotion?

[ICriedAllTheWayToTheChipShop]

I've been in my current CS role for four years, part of a small team of four people, and our team leader has just left. While a replacement is being recruited, we were offered the chance of a TP to cover the role in interim. I applied and was successful. I've also applied for the permanent role, had the interview this week and it seemed to go well, but obviously I'm not taking it for granted.

But, but... now I've had a taste of what the role is like, I'm not sure I want it any more. The manager is a well-meaning but chaotic person who fires a random mixture of Teams messages and emails at me but has to be constantly nagged to follow through on anything. The previous team leader left a lot of half-finished projects that don't seem to have a very clear remit. Mostly, though, it's about the team that I'd have to manage. As colleagues on the same grade, we got on extremely well, I'd even call them friends. But while I've been the acting team leader, they've become rather difficult. One in particular has been nitpicking at everything I do and pushing back on projects that I've tried to take forward. I know from conversations from the last year that he's not happy in the job and wants to look elsewhere, but I suppose I naively thought he would at least be supportive of me and be a bit more constructive if he didn't agree with something I was doing. I just don't see how I can have a positive manager relationship with him when he evidently doesn't like what I'm doing. He didn't go for the TP, by the way, or the permanent role, so it's not resentment at not being chosen.

Now, I don't know the interview outcome yet so this might all be academic, but I think I have a good chance of getting an offer. I honestly don't think I can accept it if I do. It would be almost £10k more per year, which I could definitely use as a person living alone in an expensive area, but I'm getting by perfectly well on my old salary and it's not as if I'd be destitute. I do worry about how it would look to my manager, though.

Tbh I'm just really hoping I don't get offered the role and the decision is taken out of my hands!

You have a lot of different problems here, all of which have solutions but you're hoping the decision will be taken away from you? I'm a bit worried about the lack of agency.
I'm ex-CS and was T&P'd until I got an actual promotion. My advice is to assess the half finished projects your predecessor left you and new ideas from your manager and decide which ones have value and which ones you should ditch; listen to others but make your own mind up; and stop worrying what other people think of you.

The new manager if they hire externally could be even worse - have you thought about that.

Take the promotion if offered, crazy not to, prioritise projects, get training for managing under performers.

You can always go back to a lower grade roll, but don’t often get the chance to move forward.

Good luck!

I’d take it. You’re up to the next level and I’d start looking at other roles in other CS organisations. As a PP says the the new manager could be worse or as bad and you’d regret it. Depends on what your overall career ambitions are I suppose.

I’m in the CS, I just move on when I don’t like the manager, it’s easy enough.

Stop worrying about colleagues liking you. That's on them. Assess and prioritize.

I've found it very difficult to move on within the CS though. I've applied for a few promotions and level transfers over the last couple of years and got nowhere, so I've started to think maybe this is my level and I should just make my peace with it. I'm obviously not as competent or as attractive a prospect as you @jfwthigo.

I could do all the things people have suggested but I'm not sure I have the mental resilience to stay sane at the same time. It's not so much worrying about what people think of me as how it'll reflect on me as a manager if I have a couple of direct reports who resist my management to the point of undermining me.

If you genuinely want to be a manager ultimately, probably good to take this and get experience, then maybe move on?

But do consider if you actually want this kind of role. Can you manage long term financially with your existing role grade / salary? I moved into management (was moved in as part of a reorg, not my choice) and I’ve just hated it more and more. I can’t bear it. I much prefer being the person who does the work, not the person who gets others to do the work. I’ve just moved back to non manager role and I’m so much happier. But luckily the non manager role also pays well. I don’t dismiss the need to earn the right amount of money, but think about the pros and cons.

Take the promotion if it gets offered. Honestly, with so many recruitment freezes in the CS right now, you dont know when the next one will come up. Also, when a team leader moves on, in my experience it can often trigger a bit of a change in behaviour, "unsettledness", some people will also take the opportunity to move on. It will all settle down. Talk to your new line manager about your concerns, get a mentor in a different team and take all the management training you can find.

Definitely do not turn it down because of a guy who is looking to leave anyway. When he goes you can recruit somebody who sees you as the manager from day 1 which will really help.
It sounds like you are really struggling with confidence in the new role. Why not spend a little of the £10K on some coaching? A few sessions should be enough to help you with some tools and approaches and make up for the fact your new boss isn’t helping.
is there no “intro to management” training in the CS? If not go outside. I’m sure you can find some.

I wasn't offered the role in the end, and felt a weird combination of disappointment and relief. I'm still not sure what I would have done if I'd had the choice to make. So now I'm doing the TP until the chosen candidate (someone external) starts in a month's time. After that, I'm going to look into retraining to do something completely different - my heart isn't in this role or even this work area anymore and this experience has confirmed that. Perhaps it's provided the kick I needed to actually do something about it.

I definitely believe in things happening for a reason, sounds like it was a useful process and will set you on a new path!