Feeling isolated at work

[Poppleton123]

Hi, I’m fairly senior in a new management role, 6 months in. I’ve worked in the company years but this area is new to me. I attended an event and felt so isolated, may aswell have been talking a different language at times. My manager isn’t very supportive and I feel like I’m being made to feel I’m under performing. However I feel I’m doing well given its remote working. I feel like I’m never going to fit in or completely understand. At times I feel people are being hostile towards me. Not sure why I’m posting, I guess I’m looking for some encouragement that it will get better and how others have got through this, when you feel it’s excruciating to be at these events.

Have you looked to other people in a similar role in different organisations to build your own professional network? That might build your confidence

It will get better with time but the first 6+ months can be hard and it’s very easy to lose your confidence and faith in your own abilities.

I’m going through something similar at present where I started in a completely new to me area in Dec and have a high profile deliverable yet no-one has time to talk to me and they seem to think I will learn their business by osmosis. I’m good at what I do but I’m not psychic (if only!). Quite frankly, it makes me feel rubbish and like I’m an idiot. I was working from home today and even had a little cry at one point.

However, I’ve been through this before and I know it will get better even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Part of my role means I get thrown into different areas / businesses that I may know nothing about with people I’ve never worked with yet they expect me to pull off some sort of magic very quickly and come up with ideas that they can’t think of (despite them having years of experience in their area and I may have none). The majority of the people you deal with won’t understand how hard it is for you because it was probably a long long time since they were in that position themselves and they forget how much knowledge they’ve gained over the years that will be completely new to you.

It can be miserable for a while. Hang in there. You’re smart, you have something they need or they wouldn’t have put you in that role. Try not to let it damage your self-belief. You’re not under-performing even though it may feel like that. They (and you) need to factor in time for you to learn and understand your new environment as you get up to speed. I’m telling myself the same thing but God it’s horrible when you’re in this awkward stage. It will pass I promise.

What you’re feeling is actually very normal when you step into a new senior role, especially one that’s unfamiliar. Six months in is still early, and working remotely can make it even harder to feel connected or confident at events. Feeling out of place doesn’t mean you’re not doing well. it usually just means you’re still finding your feet. Most people who seem at ease have felt like this at some point, even if they never say it out loud. It does ease with time, even if right now it feels uncomfortable.

Do you turn on your camera when you have a meeting?