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5 replies

ThisFoxInSocks · 29/01/2026 13:30

I work as part of a very small software team and have over 10 years there, I have the longest record by some margin. Simplified, three women do all the practical work. Three men do all the sales - I don't work with them much interacting only when they need help and support.

Once software is contracted, I am the person who suggests solutions to customers ways of working and implements them together with two project managers/troubleshooter. Over 90% of new business last year was worked on by me. The software we work on has a very low profile in the overall company, but clients like it for its simplicity, so we do quite well. The software has recently won a Tech award for its custom solutions. The first time we (an all female team then)won this, we were not allowed to celebrate this. This time, the men have cheered and backslapped each other, publicly thanking up the food chain for their work, and the other two women involved.

I am very upset and also seething at the misogyny and casual racism I think this displays, and the public slap in the face to my work internally to the company and externally to all those clients I've worked with. I love what I do, but I can't see how I make peace with such damage to my profile in the company. Generally, its just 3 women working together, we collaborate really well and there is no drama, but a lot of respect for each other, so I am really troubled by this. Has anyone advice?

OP posts:
Furlane · 29/01/2026 13:34

Why weren’t you allowed to celebrate previously?

G00dnightJimBob · 29/01/2026 13:35

You need to take it higher. Say you are not happy with the treatment you got

G00dnightJimBob · 29/01/2026 13:35

It's misogyny

Idontjetwashthefucker · 29/01/2026 13:44

Where does racism come into it?

ThisFoxInSocks · 29/01/2026 13:58

I am the non English person on the team.

Previously we weren't allowed celebrate or announce it as our achievement, as the other more high profile software (which is complicated, cost so much to develop and really is a harder sell) didn't win anything at awards time. A restructure then meant the sales team from that software came to ours.

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