In Autumn, I returned after almost a year off for maternity leave. I was dreading coming back as before I returned, I was recommended to interview for 2 internal roles which would have been a step up for me. I was rejected for both and the only feedback was that I need to be “visible” nothing about my skills and experience. On top of that I spoke to my manager to express my initial for flexible working, condensing 5 days into 4 only for my manager to come back and say that the director of marketing said I couldn’t drop hours or days and that my job requires cover 5 days a week, however, they did not recruit maternity cover.
So upon returning to work I was utterly miserable as I couldn’t progress and didn’t get the flexible work pattern I wanted (manage to negotiable 5 days condensed in 4.5 day - which is just not working for me). In my current role, there is no sign for me to progress even if I seek out opportunities for projects, I’m put back in my lane and there are no other routes for progression internally.
I have been looking for roles externally and the job market is awful. I have specialised in a certain area of marketing (don’t want to mention as might be a give away) but do have a generalist background, not to mention over 12 years of marketing experience overall. I’m in a very awkward position have been at Marketing Executive level for years, I’m not getting a look into Manager roles and executive roles aren’t a lateral move, as seem far too junior and the salaries are far below my expectation, up to £10k lower than my current salary. I’ve had interviews for marketing manager roles and I’ve been rejected because I lack experience in people management and there are gaps in my experience within my specialism. I’ve even tried to address these gaps in my current role and it’s become apparent I will never been able to fill these gaps within my current role as the systems we use aren’t fit for purpose and are no where near using them at the capacity we should. I don’t have the technical skillset and also I’m not at a level influence to push to develop our systems to enable us to address these gaps.
This brings me on to the past week, I learnt 2 things:
- My manger told me that the reason my feedback of not being “visible enough” from the 2 internal roles I interviewed for, was because due to new leadership in the team, (who were in place before I went on mat leave) didn’t know me and haven’t seen me deliver because I was off for a year. Yet for one of the roles they hired someone externally, who they didn’t know. This is just discrimination!
- The Director of our team (who is a mother herself) doesn’t like people in her team working part-time/ flexible work patterns. Yet she employed a Head of a team who she happened to work with before and considers her a friend and allowed her to work 5 days compressed into 4 from the first day she started. I sense some favouritism and nepotism.
These two things have really go to me and tbh I have zero interest in work now. I struggle to get out of bed to work, I struggle to be positive at work and it’s making my job search more desperate now. I’ve got so stressed that I was ill for a couple of weeks but because of pressure from work I had to work through it while looking after myself and my child who was also sick.
I feel like I can’t be present for my child as I’m constantly fretting about work and finding a new job. I’m putting hours into completing applications or when I get an interview preparing for them and putting together presentations.
I just don’t know what to do and I’m at my wits end! I just want a job that is open to flexible working, I feel valued and respected, and at the end of the day I can come home and be present for my child.
Sorry it’s a bit of a rant, but can anyone give me some advice or just tell me it’ll get better!