Discussion: working FT with two young children

[workingmom101]

What's the norm? Do the mothers you know mostly work FT or PT with young child/ren?

Edit to add: Should mother's who choose to work FT out of want, not out of need, be met with judgement?

I quite like the judgement - helps me very quickly weed out the people I know i am never going to be good friends with.

Good point tbf.

My husband went to four days and so did I, right from the end of my first mat leave and it’s been a decade now. Worked brilliantly for us - genuinely 50/50 parenting and both careers have continued to progress while kids only had three days in childcare. We’re fortunate we were able to, but I hesitate to say ‘lucky’ because honestly the vast majority of men could do this if the wanted to. It’s funny how most men couldn’t possibly reduce their hours for childcare while the women they work with magically manage it 🙄

Honestly I do think that full time childcare for babies and toddlers is a bit shit, but I think it’s wrong that the pressure to avoid this is put on women and never the men.

I have a pretty even split amongst my friends with who works / not work and how many hours. SAHP are more common at DS's school although there is a group of mums that work a variety of hours. Working is more common between my none school mum friends (uni friends, work friends etc)
Some work for need, some work for want. Some because they don't want to lose their career, some because their career is more stable than their DH.

I work 30 hours over 5 day partly for need and partly for want. We need my income but I probably could reduced to 25 hours and still manage. But my job wouldn't be viable at 25 hours.

I worked 4 days one my DC were born and haven’t gone back to 5.

The norm around my way are that most Mums work and it’s probably 60% 3-4 days a week in professional jobs. The remaining 30% are full time and only about 10% stay at home.

To be honest it’s the stay at home ones who get most judgement.

I think it’s incredibly challenging to both work FT but it’s becoming the norm as the cost of living increases

Anecdotally, out of my original NCT group (six of us, children recently turned five and in reception.)

Prior to school, two worked full time, one worked four days a week, three worked three days a week.

Now three work full time, one four days, one three days and one two days a week (me)

I do think a lot of children start school nursery at three now. I notice a distinct lack of over threes when out and about.

I would love to work FT but financially it doesn’t make sense with childcare costs.

My DH and I both worked full time with small children to start with. Then he went part time as he earned less than me and his work (teacher) came with lots of additional out of hours prep time too so it was about reducing that back to more manageable. No negative impact on his career though he was the first man to request it at his uni work place.
Several years later I went to 4 days a week and I still am. I love that we are both a bit part time.

I know a mix of full and part time mums and a couple of part time dads.

Depends who your friends and social group are really, doesn't it, as regards what you find the "norm."

I can only think of one of my friend group who doesn't work full time, but she does four days. Everyone else is FT. Some took the full year maternity leave each time but most took less.

All housework/kid responsibilities/etc is shared in my house. I tend to work away a lot and DH is at home more, but the split is still fairly even.

We're busy but we manage fine
I read these threads where people say they couldn't possibly work FT because they have to look after the house and I genuinely wonder what the fuck they do all day. But then they do say work expands to fill the time available; so I guess I would consider myself "busy" doing cooking, cleaning, tidying etc if I was at home and had nothing else to do.