Work dilemma, wwyd?

[Smallorveryfaraway]

I was up for redundancy late last year and successfully redeployed into a new role, different team, same business. I'm 2 weeks in and I hate it. I know part of that is just not knowing what the hell I'm doing, but I also can't find any inkling of joy in the job when I'm talking to my new colleagues. Seems like they are all just on automatic pilot and pulling long hours just to get through. Though weirdly most seem committed to this area as a career path, I can only think it's the potential salaries at senior level, I'll be subtly asking questions to find out.

My priority was redeployment to retain my salary level, but now I'm thinking that was a mistake. Redundancy would be 6 months worth of costs covered if I'm careful, and I can still opt for that for the next month. My original thinking was that I'd do the new job for 12-24 months and see what doors opened as a result, as it's a new area for me. Planned to work hard for the next five years and earn well to make headway on the mortgage and was then reduce hours or take a lower paid but easier role to see me into retirement. I felt really lucky to secure a redeployment. Now I feel very anxious and am already getting the Sunday night jitters. I just don't know if I can stick with the plan.

I'm the breadwinner, the mortgage and all bills are on me. DH has a life limiting cancer and does what he can when he can. I love my house but downsizing is an option as we've a fair amount of equity so could go mortgage free with a move and some compromises. Our fixed rate ends late this year so I'll need to remortgage anyway.

So what would you do? Try to stick with the original plan even though the job is awful, or take the redundancy and look for a new job in this hard market, knowing that I'm unlikely to find a new job at my current salary that isn't equally as hard and miserable, but if I take a lower salary for an easier work life that definitely means moving?

DH will be totally on board with whatever I decide but I know his preference is to stay in our current house. I'm in my early 50s and not planning to retire before 65.

I’d stick with the job but start looking for a new job too. The job market is really, really tough right now, so taking redundancy and having no job could be more stressful than the job you have.

The ideal scenario would be that you find a new job and apply for redundancy once you’ve secured a start day… I managed to do that once. Got a great payout and started a new job in the same month.

But realistically, stick with the job and start searching! In the meantime, what can you do to make the job more palatable? Why are you getting Sunday jitters? What’s upsetting you about the job?

I'd definitely look at what jobs are about. I'd be tempted to take the redundancy.

What is it about the new role you don't like? (You don't have to answer, just think about it.) Are they things which might improve as you settle in and get used to it? Or is it just something which doesn't suit you? (I wouldn't suit a sales role, for example.)

I was made redundant 3 years ago at 51. I was out of work for 16 months (I wasn't looking hard all thst time.) I took a job on a lower salary and left after 5 months, not because of the salary, but because of micromanagement. I'm now a little over a year into a new role, been promoted to team lead, only a couple of thousand short of my pre-redundancy salary. So it can work out okay.

Probably start the redundancy process….

start looking hard at other options.

Do you mean you have another month to choose, or was it a month from when you started the new role? Anothed whole month from now might make you feel a little different about the new role, but I would def be hunting and sending off applications right away. I'd be tempted to take the redundancy if you're still not happy, but see what interviews you can get lined up in the next few weeks? That might give you a feel for what's out there. You don't have to decide right now, let it sit with you for a week or so, but keep your options open!

Personally keep the job, downsize, go mortgage free and then look for something else without the worry of needing a higher salary to pay the mortgage.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn @EBearhug @Trumpsanob I've another month to choose I hope, I've asked to extend the trial period (which is a legal requirement when you redeploy I think, 4 weeks and I've asked to extend it to 6 weeks). They haven't agreed that extension yet but I don't see why they'd say no.

I've come from an autonomous role, in charge of my own diary and workload, easily able to complete all work within my contracted hours or just a few over each week. Clear boundaries on what my role is. An expert in what I was doing.

This new role, there's no control on workload. The bosses accept the work without considering if they can resource it, then they just assign it with no thought to how much you've already got on. Nobody says anything, they just seem to accept this and just carry on, head down, grit teeth, work against the rising tide. Working far more hours than they are contacted for. We don't get paid overtime. No way am I willing to do that for a firm who was happy to make me redundant last month.

Interruptions are constant, so you can't fully focus, and nobody is forward planning.Today for example, I got pulled into a meeting last minute because someone else was too swamped to make it. I was expected to help present a document I'd never seen before to an external party. The colleague who asked me to do this didn't make time to prep prior to the meeting and didn't think to even forward me the document. I saw her email inbox today, she has over 400 emails she hasn't even read because she doesn't have the time.

There's being busy and productive, and then there's drowning under the volume of work and failing to do a good job on anything you touch because there's not enough time. It's stressful. The Sunday night jitters... I had a bad end of the week with not enough time to complete work assigned. I felt ok over the weekend until Sunday night then just couldn't get all the uncompleted jobs out of my head, so I slept poorly. Monday was another rough day but today was a bit better. I pushed back on an assigned job today, got no reply and I suspect the boss just hasn't read it so am half expecting them to ask me where it's at tomorrow. I only had one unfinished job by the end of today. If I'm left alone a bit tomorrow I'll be able to make more progress on that but I think they've seriously underestimated how long the job will take. I reckon I need two full days on it, if be surprised if I get a quarter of that.

It's only going to get better of they stop accepting new work for a while, or if they make pretty big changes to how they work. I can't see either of those happening.

I'm afraid of being unemployed and not finding another job. I've never been unemployed. I'm afraid of not earning enough and struggling to get by, we're fairly hand to mouth as it is but not on the breadline right now, it wouldn't take much to tip us over that edge though I think. We've no savings.

But actually, having just written the things I'm afraid of, those outweigh a crappy stressful job don't they? But am I giving up the chance to be happier? Probably poorer too, but less stress, controlled hours and defined workload would make me happier.

Do you have critical illness on your mortgage?

It's really helpful just writing it down. I'm starting to see why people like journaling☺️
I think I'm just done with professional services firms too. They are so quick to restructure, they want your time, energy and knowledge but have no loyalty to you even though you are expected to show loyalty to them. I've been through 4 redundancy processes in the last ten years. Survived all of them, but I've really had enough of feeling like I don't matter. Bonuses are due in April. I'm starting to think I should hold on till then, take the bonus and then find another job. But on the other hand, the redundancy payout is ten times what the bonus is likely to be, and I won't have to work 3 month notice 🤷

Redundancy definitely, it sounds awful

@firstofallimadelight no idea. Are you thinking I could claim on it because of DHs cancer? I'm not sure I do but will investigate.

Downsize and be mortgage free and look for a job you enjoy. Take the redundancy.

Gently - it sounds like you’re going to a job you hate every day to pay a mortgage on a house that’s bigger than you need

Sounds mad to me - I’d downsize and take redundancy

The job sounds awful!

Downsize at end of mortgage deal. I'm similar age and struggling under a new chain of command. The fact we are mortgage free softens the blow that my next job will be at a much lower salary...

Do you definitely get the enhanced redundancy even if you can step into a new job? Sometimes such payments (the enhanced element - not the statutory redundancy pay or notice) are conditional on a settlement agreement which could have a clause requiring you to promise you don’t have a job lined up. Sometimes the company has a policy that anyone gets the enhanced payment if made redundant. Worth finding out. I also agree with other posters - don’t gamble on finding a new better job for the sake of a redundancy payment if that sum won’t be life changing. But do look for another job that will make you happy long term. Your original plan sounds sensible.

if you can afford to give up work and are happy with that risk, that’s different.

@NotFragileLikeAFlowerFragileLikeABomb I'm probably using downsizing incorrectly. The house is small and only just big enough for us, no spare bedroom for example so when elderly parents come to stay once or twice a month we're on the sofa so they can have our bed which is fine. What I mean is, that's it's an expensive area, and I do have a larger than average garden and amazing views. So downsizing to me means a cheaper area, smaller garden, no views, further from a train station but still the right size house. All those little compromises that make a house more affordable.

@HelicoPie I don't think I can afford to take the risk without moving and reducing/eliminating the mortgage. No settlement agreement as part of the redundancy package. They were so keen to get shot of us (the rest of my previous team have all left) they didn't make the offer conditional at all. It's not a life changing sum, it just would buy about 6 months to find a new job. I could pick up temp work whilst I job hunt for a great job, which could stretch it from 6 months to a year. I'm also in a location which has a lot of big company head offices, everything from NHS and government to retail, manufacturing and defence. A university not far too, so it gives me lots of options.

It sounds like your heart is saying take the redundancy and take the risk. But your head is a bit hesitant. I think lots of people empathise with that, but deciding to take the risk really has to be a decision you make. I expect lots of folk are reading this hoping you take the chance and it all works, but don’t want to go as far as saying they think you should do that because there really is a risk and only you can decide if it’s worth it.

Yes if you have critical illness you should be able to.

Based on your last update it does sound like you have good options for temp work etc and you do have the ability to downsize so I would say go
for the redundancy. Your workplace sounds utterly miserable!

Even if you don't have critical illness cover, check any life insurance cover, as it may pay out , it depends on your DH'S diagnosis/prognosis.

I am sorry you are in the position. Redundancy in the circumstances does sound a good option.

If you really can't take the risk of being unemployed, unfortunately you don't have much choice about the redundancy, but look around for jobs anyway. At least see what's out there currently in order to make some sort of an assessment.

However, if it were me, I couldn't handle the stress of a dreadful job as well as everything else you're going through (husband's illness) and I'd take the redundancy....I have done this in the past and never regretted it. Hopefully the redundancy package would be enough to tide you over? To my mind, life is too short to be so unhappy at work....but that's me, you must choose what is right for you.

As the sole breadwinner I don't think I would be brave enough to take redundancy in your position.

This is my third week in a new industry, new type of job for me.
I took my mug home every day for the first two weeks. It feels dreadful, everyone is depressed. Miserable, there's no fun here and the problem solving is very solitary.
Yesterday was somehow different, I'm hoping there is hope.
People are seeming more interesting, a bit more positive when they hear I don't want to moan.
I think I'm grieving my old industry even though that came with a huge number of different problems.
I'm going to stick it out for a bit but not take on any debt to give me options!

Thank you all for your thoughts. I've had a very honest conversation with my DH this morning as I woke up feeling sick with worry again. I'm going to have a conversation with my people manager today but at the moment I am favouring taking the redundancy. I just think life is too short to be so stressed.
@Needapadlockonmyfridge definitely no life insurance, we were just about to look into getting some when DH was diagnosed. Too late now. I could get cover for him now excluding cancer, but it doesn't seem worth it.

I think this is very sensible, no job is worth feeling like this over if you can get out. There are so many options available to you, I am sure you can make it work. You also have moving house in your back pocket if you need it. I hope it all comes together, and that you and DH get to spend lots of lovely time together while he is well enough. After all that is the important thing

Well my line manager has talked me away from the line a bit. We've agreed to get a structured plan in place and put boundaries on what I'll do with a timeframe of a couple of months which will hopefully control my workload a bit. Over the next couple of days I'm going to clearly define my red lines, just for myself, which will help when I have to confirm my decision re the redundancy option in a month as I'll be able to assess the work and behaviors against that. But I feel right now like I might actually last the month and it could improve, based on todays conversation. No longer sick with worry and had a good, productive afternoon.
I was very honest that I think the way the team is working right now is an absolutely shitshow, though I used much more professional language obviously, and they took that surprisingly well and seemed open to changing some things to improve it, but I don't think it's their decision really, it's have to be escalated to the head of department I guess.
DH is still ok with keeping an open mind about moving and reducing or eliminating the mortgage, so will keep that in my back pocket as suggested. He's going to focus on getting the house ship shape and will chat off the record to a couple of agencies so we're in a position to make a decision and go on the market quickly if we need to.
Thank you all so much. You've really helped me.