Signed off with stress - advice needed please!

[workdilemma123abc]

Hi all, I posted not that long ago regarding being signed off work due to stress (caused by work). I am due to go back Monday (just under 2 weeks from initial sign off date), but I am still not feeling 100%.

Previous thread with more detail

Initially, my doctor said I could have 2-3 weeks. I did say 2 weeks for now as it seemed too daunting to take the 3. Well, now it’s coming up to the end of if I’m getting quite overwhelmed. I spent the first week feeling pretty rubbish, and am finally starting to feel a little more relaxed this week. I’ve had a few iffy nights feeling quite down and I am still irritable due to the stress.

What I’m trying to ascertain is whether or not I should request the additional week from the doctor’s and then go back (hard deadline, have to go) OR if I should just suck it up and go back. Realistically, I’d like to avoid this happening again - I think if HR use the Bradford factor (I think it’s called that?) to determine attendance/absences then in the long run it would be better to take the required time now so it’s only one absence. I’m getting worried that if I go back too soon it’s just going to happen again.

If I do end up going with the additional week, I can contact my doctor tomorrow to request this. Ideally I’d be signed off until next Friday so my return would be the following Monday. This is all dependant on the GP actually offering me a fit note.

Alternatively, I’m now getting worried that they are going to be royally pissed off with me for even having around 10 working days off total so far. I don’t want to exacerbate the situation at work, and I do hope to disclose to HR that I’m struggling and potentially some reasonable adjustments could be made as I have OCD (and have done for years).

Please can someone give some advice on what to do - I’d greatly appreciate it!❤️
Or if anyone has gone back when they’re not 100% yet, how that went?

Thank you all in advance xxxxx

Take the three weeks. Use the third week working out what you need to return, and how this can be done. Ask for a phased return, and have this done with HR/ OCC health to make sure it works. If you’re still anxious going back, then you need to work out a plan that returning works with otherwise you’ll be in thr same position within a few days if not before you go back

If you are poorly enough to be off work then don’t go back why are you worrying if they will be pissed off with you. Stress is stress you state this was caused by work do you think it will be better when you return have you a plan with what adjustments you/ work need to prevent a reoccurrence.

Why is 3 weeks a hard deadline? It's not, you know. If you got hit by a bus they'd figure something out.

You putting pressure on yourself to be back for whatever happens at the end of week 3 will not be helping you, it'll be making you more stressed. You've just kicked the can down the road a little.

I’d extend your fit note and request an Occ health meeting. 3 weeks for work related stress really isn’t long at all. Ideally you need a few weeks to settle and recover, then some further weeks to feel more balanced. Possibly a minimum of 4 weeks.
Have you considered the phased returned and what support you may need for it to be successful?
Also try not to overthink how your employer is judging you, you’ll only make your stress worse.
I’m sure your employer would prefer you back when your ready and not before.

Thanks for replying. The deadline is just set by me - I’m not sure what to do in this situation as I haven’t had to do this before.

I do understand what you’re saying but due to my OCD, I find it really hard not to fixate on things and that makes me quite anxious.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do then? x

You are not sure what you are supposed to do? When your fit note runs out your employer will expect you back. I’m not sure what you are hoping to achieve. If your FIT note stated work stress then on a return to work your employer will be questioning what caused it what you want to change etc. This period off work should have given you space to breathe think relax and recharge. Extended periods of people being off work do cause logistical problems for employers cover etc but that is your employers problem. If HR want you to engage with occupational health do so as this should reduce any stress you are feeling about returning. You say it’s a big company many have employee well-being tools.

Go back to your GP and extend your sick leave.

The issue is that if work is causing your stress then you need to think about a long term strategy: ask to be referred to occupational health, discuss with your manager what additional support you need or if this is a toxic workplace and nothing is likely to improve then start applying for other jobs.

Well, it depends why you're stressed really.

What is it that's actually causing the problem?

General workload style stress? Insane expectations? Toxic manager? Particularly stressful thing happening right now?

If you could wave a magic wand and fix it, what would that look like?

Once you've identified what the thing is that's tipping you I've the edge, you can work out how it can be mitigated.

Reduced hours. More help / less workload. More realistic deadlines.

Then you speak to work before you go back, and maybe also occupational health, discuss the problem and work out a way forward that's sustainable that is put in place before you return.

Or you get a different job.

Because at the moment you're stressed to the point of destruction, you're taking a very short break and panicking about what's happening when you're not there/what's piling up waiting for you to return, and nothing will have changed for the better when you do go back so you'll crash out again.